# What are your qualifications? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 7, 2016, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113 "2016-12-07T15:34:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/21 "2016-12-07T17:18:42Z")
Based on my vast experience playing SimCity, I think I would be a better Secretary of Housing and Urban Development than Dr Carson. Plus I’m awake more of the time than he is. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/22 "2016-12-07T17:38:03Z")
I have absolutely no qualifications … which, judging by the last election, qualifies me to be President. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/23 "2016-12-07T17:54:13Z")
Secretry of the Treasury. I have a map with an X showing where there is buried treasure. ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/24 "2016-12-07T18:05:14Z")
I had a begonia plant that lived for over two years. That is, until I went out of town and forgot to make arrangements to water it. Oh, and I didn’t bother watering it afterwards when I got back. Also, I’ve allowed considerable quantities of dog excrement to accumulate in my back yard. It may have been my imagination, but I could swear my lawn looked greener the year I did a bad job of picking up after my dog…But I digress. My point is I believe I’m qualified to make an excellent Sec. of Agriculture. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/25 "2016-12-07T18:08:32Z")
For well over twenty-four hours, my wife was actually in labor. ---
**Author:** ![somepumpkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7feea3/32.png) [@somepumpkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/somepumpkin)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/26 "2016-12-07T18:10:42Z")
I travel a lot and often use our national transportation infrastructure. I critique it often so I should be a shoe-in for Sec. of Transportation. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/27 "2016-12-07T18:22:16Z")
I could be Secretary of State. I’ve been to 30 of our 50 states. ---
**Author:** ![SUZ\_MAC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8e8cbc/32.png) [@SUZ\_MAC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SUZ_MAC)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/28 "2016-12-07T18:27:34Z")
Secretary of Labor would work for me as well. I’ve given birth. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/29 "2016-12-07T18:35:00Z")
I grew an avocado plant from a seed once. Secretary of Agriculture for me, if you please! ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/30 "2016-12-07T18:37:33Z")
> [@Machine\_Elf](#): > > I’ve also flown in planes. a shitload of 'em. Some of the biggest, and some of the smallest. Surely that qualifies me to run the FAA. I’ve flown in planes, ridden in cars, buses, and trains, not to mention piloting boats. Oh, and I’ve also jumped over stuff, like boxes. Secretary of Transportation, that’s me! ---
**Author:** ![Karen\_Lingel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karen_lingel/32/18649_2.png) [@Karen\_Lingel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Karen_Lingel)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/31 "2016-12-07T19:20:03Z")
I’m a scientist, so I’ll take Secretary of Energy, since no one has spoken for that yet. Does anyone know what the pay is? ---
**Author:** ![Totenfeier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@Totenfeier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Totenfeier)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/32 "2016-12-07T19:20:05Z")
In my misspent youth, I was _massively_ into the board game _Risk_. SecDef is far too weenie for me. I want to go retro - Secretary of WAR!!! ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/33 "2016-12-07T19:27:30Z")
I’m hoping my boss doesn’t die or resign. VP for me. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Whiskey\_Dickens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9fc348/32.png) [@Whiskey\_Dickens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whiskey_Dickens)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/34 "2016-12-07T19:37:13Z")
> [@Karen\_Lingel](#): > > I’m a scientist, so I’ll take Secretary of Energy, since no one has spoken for that yet. Does anyone know what the pay is? They pay you in CURRENTcy. Cuz it’s the Secretary of _Energy_. _Like electricity_. ---
**Author:** ![JcWoman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jcwoman/32/2889_2.png) [@JcWoman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JcWoman)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/35 "2016-12-07T19:44:15Z")
I’m very opinionated. It’s not a cabinet post but it makes me qualified to be the White House Press Secretary. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/36 "2016-12-07T19:46:27Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > I could be Secretary of State. I’ve been to 30 of our 50 states. Actually 40: 30 is the number of states I’ve _visited_ (which I count differently). But perhaps I’ve only been to 30 states if you subtract ones that are “really” Commonwealths etc. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/37 "2016-12-07T19:49:38Z")
What I’m trying to figure out is which of the presidential appointments would be the most fun. Which has the fewest actual duties, but offers the most opportunity to eat and live well. Perhaps Treasurer of the United States? She doesn’t seem to do too much. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/38 "2016-12-07T19:53:24Z")
My grandparents were immigrants, I took French and Spanish in high school and I visited Scotland once, so I’m worldly enough to be Ambassador to the United Nations. As long as I don’t have to hobnob with anyone from those funny little countries. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/39 "2016-12-07T19:53:54Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > What I’m trying to figure out is which of the presidential appointments would be the most fun. Which has the fewest actual duties, but offers the most opportunity to eat and live well. > > Perhaps Treasurer of the United States? She doesn’t seem to do too much. But think of how sore your wrist must become from signing all those bills. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/40 "2016-12-07T20:04:11Z")
None of you get the job. These days the politically correct term is “Administrative Assistant”. Guess that makes me the AA of Education. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113.md?page=3)