# What are your qualifications? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 7, 2016, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113 "2016-12-07T15:34:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2016, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/61 "2016-12-08T05:38:14Z")
I want Food and Drug Admin. Oh yes. I’m totally qualified. I have opinions and I took nursing courses back in the 1980s and did well on the textbook studies. And I got diagnosed with a “mental illness” in a nuthouse. Uh huh. Yes, a few changes in policy. **fingers worn copies of _Phoenix Rising_ and _Madness Network News_** ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2016, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/62 "2016-12-08T05:47:18Z")
I’m over the age of 35 and was born in the United States, so I am qualified to be President. ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2016, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/63 "2016-12-08T07:02:36Z")
I’ve had to go to court a few times and use a lawyer n stuff sooo, top cop in the nation for me, Dept. of Justice or alternatively, a nomination and confirmation for a seat on the Supreme Court. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2016, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/64 "2016-12-08T11:31:40Z")
I’m a Jewish guy who’s lived through a flood, so put me down for NOAA. ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2016, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/65 "2016-12-08T12:16:27Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > I’m a Jewish guy who’s lived through a flood, so put me down for NOAA. ::golf clap:: ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2016, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/66 "2016-12-08T13:24:42Z")
Considering my fair experience in Kerbal Space Program and middling experience in Orbiter 2010—although, admittedly, with very little experience in a mandate of making Kerbal demographic groups feel good about themselves—I’ll put my name in for NASA Director. I promise to both bring back the “[worm](http://www.logodesignlove.com/images/evolution/nasa-worm-logo-star-trek.jpg),” and embark on an exciting new spate of manned space projects…which will have a significant fraction of survivors! ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2016, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/67 "2016-12-08T13:53:21Z")
since I gave no money, or other ‘support’ to Trump’s campaign, I am apparently unqualified to take any position in his cabinet. Probably doesn’t help that I am _not_ an x-general or multi-millionaire. ---
**Author:** ![Pai325](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Pai325](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pai325)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2016, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/68 "2016-12-08T14:17:31Z")
I will take Ambassador to Great Britain. I speak English, so I’m qualified. ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2016, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/69 "2016-12-08T14:49:38Z")
I’ve spent a lot of time yelling “You kids get outta my yard!” so I think that qualifies me to head up Homeland Security. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2016, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/70 "2016-12-08T15:18:14Z")
Well, my kid ran a lemonade stand, so I’m thinking Small Business Administration. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2016, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/71 "2016-12-08T15:27:06Z")
I’ve got 6 years’ experience as a prosecutor and 15 years ’ experience as a magistrate, and I disagree with virtually everything Mr. Trump said during the campaign, so naturally I’ll be expecting his call any day now to be his nominee for the U.S. Supreme Court. ---
**Author:** ![Sefton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Sefton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sefton)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2016, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/72 "2016-12-08T15:32:17Z")
I don’t mean to brag, but my IQ is in the triple digits. That’s right, _3 digits_. Clearly, I’m qualified to lead the Central Intelligence Agency. ---
**Author:** ![Nars\_Glinley](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nars_glinley/32/8177_2.png) [@Nars\_Glinley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nars_Glinley)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2016, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/73 "2016-12-08T15:45:23Z")
I have an office so I’ll take the Director of the Office of Management and Budget. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2016, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/74 "2016-12-08T15:50:54Z")
Lets see — I grew up poor but then made some money, went to school and even college, did ROTC but avoided actual service, visited quite a few National Parks, have lived in houses/buildings both private and public, driven cars and motorcycles, and have sometimes bought new clothes. Clearly I should be appointed the First Emperor of the United States. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2016, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/75 "2016-12-08T16:07:08Z")
I grew up around lawyers. I’m qualified to be Chief Justice on the Supreme Court by the Ben Carson standard. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2016, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/76 "2016-12-08T17:18:24Z")
My family used to deliver 10% of the phone directories in the US every year (about 45 million books). Obviously, given our 20+ year support of the recycling stream, I would make a _fine_ head of the EPA. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2016, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/77 "2016-12-08T17:22:33Z")
I seem to be qualified for multiple posts. I have guns and a bottle of whiskey so I’m a shoe-in for the BATF. Aspirin and Benadryl in the medicine cabinet so I’m good for the DEA or the FDA. I’ve played many hours of Uplink which looks good on my NSA resume. ETA: I have cell phones, radios, and televisions, so put me up for the FCC as well. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2016, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/78 "2016-12-08T18:16:57Z")
> [@SUZ\_MAC](#): > > Ben Carson was selected for Secretary of Housing and Urban Development based on the qualification that he grew up in government housing. I grew up in a state. So put me down for Secretary of State. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2016, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/79 "2016-12-08T21:03:12Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > I grew up around lawyers. > > I’m qualified to be Chief Justice on the Supreme Court by the Ben Carson standard. If you want the job, you gotta know the title: [Who’s America’s top judge? - The Straight Dope](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2975/who-is-america-s-top-judge) ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee7513/32.png) [@Mona\_Lott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lott)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2016, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/80 "2016-12-09T03:06:41Z")
One time I made Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, using REAL butter instead of margarine. Obviously I am more than qualified to be the White House chef. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113.md?page=5)