# What are your qualifications? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 7, 2016, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113 "2016-12-07T15:34:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2016, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/81 "2016-12-09T05:04:08Z")
I’ve been thinking about sending a resume over trump’s way for director of the BLM I spent 10 years as an engineer in the oil industry including owning my own company My wife spent a decade in the mining industry and I’ve been assisting her at work for the last 5 years. I grew up in a farming town and one of my hobbies is studying intensive grazing practices and working on my friends farms. I’m also an avid hunter and fisherman. I also have an MBA This of course sounds like a joke but the current director of the BLM has only studied politics including a political science masters and has had two job previous to the BLM international elections observer and assistant to Harry Reid. I am seriously more qualified then he is. ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_Hey\_Paula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hey\_Hey\_Paula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_Hey_Paula)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2016, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/82 "2016-12-09T05:58:28Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > Secretary of Veterans Affairs: I’m a veteran, and – if it’ll help me to cheerfully serve my country this January – I can have an affair, like, _tonight_. I have friends and relatives who are veterans. And I’ve taken my cats to various veterinarians. I’m sure at least some of them have had affairs. Or hosted affairs (galas, parties, whatever you call them), or worked at affairs as caterers or something. So, I can be secretary of veterinarians and affairs. ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2016, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/83 "2016-12-09T11:55:59Z")
I was going to say Director of Office Management and Budget since I live on a budget, but I’ve been a Bookkeeper and Office Manager for over 30 years, so I think I may be overqualified. Therefore, since I love both food and drugs, I’m gonna apply for that one, I think. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2016, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/84 "2016-12-10T18:06:14Z")
I worked as a teacher’s aide in daycare. Dept. of Ed. Head for me! ---
**Author:** ![Jennshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Jennshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennshark)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2016, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/85 "2016-12-10T22:05:01Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > I dated a girl named Sue, so Attorney General for me. I also stay at home a lot, so Secretary of the Interior could be another option. 😃 clever! I guess I could direct the Bureau of Land Management cuz I pick up dog poo and leaves in my yard. ---
**Author:** ![Jungian\_Camisole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8baadc/32.png) [@Jungian\_Camisole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jungian_Camisole)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2016, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/86 "2016-12-11T02:50:08Z")
I’ve twice had the flu. I’ve had mumps and strep throat. I had chickenpox when I was 5 years old. I had a urinary tract infection last year. Clearly, I’m your lead chick for the Centers for Disease Control. ---
**Author:** ![purplehearingaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@purplehearingaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehearingaid)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2016, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/87 "2016-12-11T03:01:32Z")
> [@ThisSpaceForRent](#): > > I dated a lady from Uruguay for while, I could be Ambassador to Uruguay. Which would be good for me because they have legal marijuana…and cute women folks i might add. I dated a guy from Africa so I could be Ambassador to Africa or to Russia b/c my dad was born in Russia . 🙂 He could see Russia from his house too. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2016, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/88 "2016-12-11T07:20:49Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > Secretary of Defense. I had the classic green plastic army men when I was a kid. I used to be in charge of preparing the landscape where my brothers’ armies would fight, therefore I’m qualified to be in charge of public works. All your roads and canals are belong to me! ---
**Author:** ![Iggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iggy/32/3364_2.png) [@Iggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iggy)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2016, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/89 "2016-12-11T12:09:18Z")
As an aside, apparently [Saturday Night Live had a skit](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-walter-white-dea-head-snl_us_584cf5b3e4b0bd9c3dfd2ffc) along the theme of this thread. They introduced the new head of the Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA) as a school science teacher from Albuquerque, Walter White. Bryan Cranston made a cameo in character. I used to teach sailing. I guess that makes me the new Secretary of the Navy. ---
**Author:** ![txjim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f07891/32.png) [@txjim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/txjim)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2016, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/90 "2016-12-11T13:26:52Z")
> [@Reluctant\_A](#): > > When I was on active duty, I served in the Navy, but I did my grocery shopping at the nearby Army base. So, I’m pretty sure that qualifies me to be Secretary of the Army. I own a boat so I’ll cover Secretary of Navy for you. It’s a small sailboat so our fleet profile might change a bitduring my tenure ---
**Author:** ![mage-girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@mage-girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mage-girl)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2016, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/91 "2016-12-15T04:00:35Z")
> [@RadioWave](#): > > I could be the Poet Laureate > Cause I totally wouldn’t ignory it. NICE! 🆒 Not saying I won’t fight you for it, though. I didn’t write a half-dozen (crappy) poems in high school for nothing! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![purplehearingaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@purplehearingaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehearingaid)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2016, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/92 "2016-12-15T04:16:55Z")
> [@Cardigan](#): > > I had a begonia plant that lived for over two years. That is, until I went out of town and forgot to make arrangements to water it. Oh, and I didn’t bother watering it afterwards when I got back. Also, I’ve allowed considerable quantities of dog excrement to accumulate in my back yard. It may have been my imagination, but I could swear my lawn looked greener the year I did a bad job of picking up after my dog…But I digress. My point is I believe I’m qualified to make an excellent Sec. of Agriculture. I have an ivy plant for at least 17 years now so I would better qualified to be Sec. of Agriculture . I got green a thumb . 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2016, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/93 "2016-12-15T04:46:08Z")
Ah. Well, I attended Juilliard. I’m a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I’ve seen _The Exorcist_ ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT… NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU’RE TALKING TO A _DEAD GUY…_ Now what do you think? You think I’m qualified? ---
**Author:** ![Nars\_Glinley](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nars_glinley/32/8177_2.png) [@Nars\_Glinley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nars_Glinley)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2016, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/94 "2016-12-15T06:40:07Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > Ah. Well, I attended Juilliard. I’m a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I’ve seen _The Exorcist_ ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT… NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU’RE TALKING TO A _DEAD GUY…_ Now what do you think? You think I’m qualified? Talking while dead will get you a spot with the FCC. ---
**Author:** ![stillownedbysetters](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/41988e/32.png) [@stillownedbysetters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stillownedbysetters)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2016, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/95 "2016-12-15T06:51:09Z")
I am making my way through a box of Christmas candy canes. Surely that qualifies me to be the **Director of the MInt**. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2016, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113/96 "2016-12-15T14:36:26Z")
Well, I got on welfare and managed to get off of it. That qualifies me as Economics Director. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-qualifications/774113.md?page=4)