# What are your strangest song titles? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 26, 2012, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-strangest-song-titles/619972 "2012-04-26T01:11:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2012, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-strangest-song-titles/619972/21 "2012-04-26T12:48:35Z")
“Fido is a Hot Dog Now”–sung by Billy Murray “I’ve Got The ‘Yes, We Have No Bananas’ Blues”–sung by Eddie Cantor “What Kind of a Noise Annoys an Oyster?”–sung by Frank Crumit “Cohen Owes Me 97 Dollars”–sung by Rhoda Bernard ---
**Author:** ![limegreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/82dd89/32.png) [@limegreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/limegreen)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2012, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-strangest-song-titles/619972/22 "2012-04-26T13:02:11Z")
Apparently I’ve led a musically sheltered life. I’ver never heard of any of these. ---
**Author:** ![Meurglys](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/258eb7/32.png) [@Meurglys](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meurglys)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2012, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-strangest-song-titles/619972/23 "2012-04-26T13:16:05Z")
What Godzilla Said to God When His Name Wasn’t Found in the Book of Life - Mark Eitzel Some Bartenders Have the Gift of Pardon - Mark Eitzel How Many Six Packs Does It Take to Screw in a Light - Mark Eitzel Contrasted Views of the Archaeopteryx - David Thomas My Theory of Spontaneous Simultude/Red Tin Bus - David Thomas She Wandered Through the Garden Fence - Procol Harum ---
**Author:** ![President\_Johnny\_Gentle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5f9b8f/32.png) [@President\_Johnny\_Gentle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/President_Johnny_Gentle)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2012, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-strangest-song-titles/619972/24 "2012-04-26T13:40:57Z")
Open for 12 hours and no one has mentioned Sufjan Stevens? Here’s a selection of titles from his \*Illinois \*album. “Concerning the UFO Sighting Near Highland, Illinois” “The Black Hawk War, or, How to Demolish an Entire Civilization and Still Feel Good About Yourself in the Morning, or, We Apologize for the Inconvenience but You’re Going to Have to Leave Now, or, ‘I Have Fought the Big Knives and Will Continue to Fight Them Until They Are Off Our Lands!’” “A Short Reprise for Mary Todd, Who Went Insane, but for Very Good Reasons” “Decatur, or, Round of Applause for Your Stepmother!” “To the Workers of the Rock River Valley Region, I Have an Idea Concerning Your Predicament” “A Conjunction of Drones Simulating the Way in Which Sufjan Stevens Has an Existential Crisis in the Great Godfrey Maze” “The Predatory Wasp of the Palisades Is Out to Get Us!” “They Are Night Zombies!! They Are Neighbors!! They Have Come Back from the Dead!! Ahhhh!” “Let’s Hear That String Part Again, Because I Don’t Think They Heard It All the Way Out in Bushnell” “Riffs and Variations on a Single Note for Jelly Roll, Earl Hines, Louis Armstrong, Baby Dodds, and the King of Swing, to Name a Few” “Out of Egypt, into the Great Laugh of Mankind, and I Shake the Dirt from My Sandals as I Run” ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2012, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-strangest-song-titles/619972/25 "2012-04-26T14:15:18Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Hoagy Carmichael’s “I’m a Cranky Old Yank in a Clanky Old Tank on the Streets of Yokohama with my Honolulu Mama Doin’ Those Beat-o, Beat-o Flat-On-My-Seat-o, Hirohito Blues” That’s the one I was going to post. I don’t know that I’ve ever heard it, but the title is indelibly etched in my memory from seeing it in a Guinness World Record book when I was a kid. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2012, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-strangest-song-titles/619972/26 "2012-04-26T14:35:02Z")
I’m inclined to think Sufjan Stevens wins the thread, but I like “[I Had A Bad Experience With The C.I.A. and Now I’m Gonna Show You My Feminine Side](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FXq0s016Ec)” by the Swirling Eddies ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2012, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-strangest-song-titles/619972/27 "2012-04-26T14:36:48Z")
> [@blondebear](#): > > That’s the one I was going to post. I don’t know that I’ve ever heard it, but the title is indelibly etched in my memory from seeing it in a Guinness World Record book when I was a kid. [Not the original version, but still…](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrI-y77Pz5E) ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2012, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-strangest-song-titles/619972/28 "2012-04-26T14:41:24Z")
Lovely-named Half Man Half Biscuit had [All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=na12OyJEgJ8), Joy Division Oven Gloves , 99% Of Gargoyles Look Like Bob Todd, I Love You Because (You Look Like Jim Reeves) I Was A Teenage Armchair Honved Fan Outbreak of Vitas Gerulaitis 13 Eurogoths floating in the Dead Sea Improv Workshop Mimeshow Gobshite Styx Gig (Seen By My Mates Coming Out Of A) Dead Men Don’t Need Season Tickets He Who Would Valium Take Song of Encouragement for the Orme Ascent Ballad Of Climie Fisher It’s Clichéd To Be Cynical At Christmas We Built This Village on a Trad. Arr. Tune ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2012, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-strangest-song-titles/619972/29 "2012-04-26T14:43:30Z")
“Champagne For My Real Friends, Real Pain For My Sham Friends” - Fall Out Boy ---
**Author:** ![cjepson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@cjepson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cjepson)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2012, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-strangest-song-titles/619972/30 "2012-04-26T14:44:59Z")
1. The “Canterbury Scene” in 1970s England was known for odd song titles. Examples: Hatfield and the North: “Giant Land-Crabs in Earth Takeover Bid” Gong: “Wet Cheese Delirium”, “Squeezing Sponges Over Policemen’s Heads” Matching Mole: “Starting in the Middle of the Day We Can Drink Our Politics Away” Caravan: “If I Could Do It All Over Again, I’d Do It All Over You” 1. Before T. Rex was T. Rex, it was Tyrannosaurus Rex, and had a lot of odd song titles, such as “Fist Heart Mighty Dawn Dart”, “Dwarfish Trumpet Blues”, and “Like a White Star, Tangled and Far, Tulip That’s What You Are”. 2. Mojo Nixon: “Debbie Gibson is Pregnant With My Two-Headed Love Child” 3. Side B of Brian Eno’s LP _Discreet Music_ consists of three variations on Pachelbel’s Canon in D Major. For the titles, he used some “charmingly inaccurate” French-to-English translations from a version performed by Jean Francios Paillard: “Fullness of Wind”, “French Catalogues”, and “Brutal Ardour”. 4. In the realm of jazz, I like “Hi Ho Trailus Boot Whip” by Anita O’Day. 5. And of course there’s all kinds of country songs like “I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim’s Gettin’ Better” and “Dropkick Me, Jesus, Through the Goalposts of Life”. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2012, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-strangest-song-titles/619972/31 "2012-04-26T15:24:10Z")
_Superman_ Wait, did you say “_strongest_” or “_strangest_”? ---
**Author:** ![Labtrash](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/labtrash/32/528_2.png) [@Labtrash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labtrash)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2012, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-strangest-song-titles/619972/32 "2012-04-26T15:42:28Z")
Rainy Day Women ♯ 12 & 35 ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2012, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-strangest-song-titles/619972/33 "2012-04-26T15:43:11Z")
“Straw Hat and Dirty Old Hank” - Barenaked Ladies “I Got a Perm for Our Camping Trip” - Don’t Stop or we’ll Die “Bob Dylan’s 49th Beard” - Wilco ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2012, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-strangest-song-titles/619972/34 "2012-04-26T15:56:04Z")
Tom Waits - Christmas Card From A Hooker In Minneapolis ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2012, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-strangest-song-titles/619972/35 "2012-04-26T16:09:31Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > “Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury” - Rachel Bloom > [@limegreen](#): > > Apparently I’ve led a musically sheltered life. I’ver never heard of any of these. Let me help you out with [one](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1IxOS4VzKM) That meets the two-click requirement for NSFW stuff, right? Because it is NSFW (for adult situations and language, not images). ---
**Author:** ![Ana\_Byrd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Ana\_Byrd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ana_Byrd)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2012, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-strangest-song-titles/619972/36 "2012-04-27T17:49:57Z")
The Roches’ “The Largest Elizabeth In The World” and “Sex Is For Children”. The latter song could scarcely be more innocent, except for the title. I’m not sure we can even count Songs to Wear Pants To, but “Celtic Techno Burrito”. I’ll bet there’s something weirder somewhere in my collection that will occur to me as soon as I post this. ---
**Author:** ![Suburban\_Plankton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suburban_plankton/32/219_2.png) [@Suburban\_Plankton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suburban_Plankton)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2012, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-strangest-song-titles/619972/37 "2012-04-27T19:04:41Z")
The Beatles’ “White Album” (_The Beatles_) has a few: “The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill” “Happiness is a Warm Gun” And my personal favorite “Everybody’s Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey” ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2012, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-strangest-song-titles/619972/38 "2012-04-27T19:18:08Z")
Less Than Jake are always good for some nice titles… \*“Johnny Quest Thinks We’re Sellouts” “How’s My Driving, Doug Hastings?” “Help Save the Youth of America from Exploding” “All My Best Friends Are Metalheads” “Richard Allen George… No, It’s Just Cheez” “Malt Liquor Tastes Better When You’ve Got Problems” “Best Wishes to Your Black Lung” “The Life of the Party Has Left the Building” \* And my personal favorite from the Goo Goo Dolls, back when they were a pretty damn punked-out bunch and hadn’t gotten anywhere near a movie soundtrack: _“Don’t Beat My Ass With A Baseball Bat”_ ---
**Author:** ![panamajack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/47e85d/32.png) [@panamajack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panamajack)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2012, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-strangest-song-titles/619972/39 "2012-04-27T22:44:45Z")
“Late Nineties Bedroom Rock for the Missionaries” - Broken Social Scene (they have a bunch of odd titles) “A Nice Little Fish Business and Making Money” - Transglobal Underground “Me! I Disconnect From You” - Gary Numan “Palmcorder Yajna” - Mountain Goats “Tonight Harry’s Practice Visits The Home Of Charlie ‘Bird’ Parker” - TISM (also odd because that’s what happens in the song) “That Gum You Like is Back In Style” - Camper van Beethoven (set in an alternate universe where “Twin Peaks” was wildly popular and this was the theme to the spinoff show) ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2012, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-strangest-song-titles/619972/40 "2012-04-27T23:10:09Z")
> [@cjepson](#): > > “Fist Heart Mighty Dawn Dart” I wonder if making people almost mispronounce the last word was part of the plan. Cause I almost am, just reading it! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-strangest-song-titles/619972.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-strangest-song-titles/619972.md?page=3)