# What are your thoughts on cuddle parties? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 28, 2006, 8:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-thoughts-on-cuddle-parties/374480 "2006-09-28T08:32:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2006, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-thoughts-on-cuddle-parties/374480/21 "2006-09-28T14:35:31Z")
You young whippersnappers, with your [petting parties](http://www.havemann.com/flappers_dictionary.html) and roadsters and wild ragtime tea-dances! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2006, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-thoughts-on-cuddle-parties/374480/22 "2006-09-28T14:39:12Z")
**lokij** , I experienced something very similar in high school. A bunch of friends of mixed genders, we hung out a lot and ended up just sort of all cuddling together on the floor during a party. Only there was definitely a sexual charge to it. I don’t think I’d personally go to a planned cuddle party; I think it would probably become sexual for me, and it seems like these parties are trying to focus on the emotional, rather than sexual, aspects of physical contact. I have a very close network of friends and family who provide my emotional support, and I don’t need or particularly want to try and get that through cuddling with strangers. (Or even with my family and friends! Well, maybe one of my friends. 😉 ) ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2006, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-thoughts-on-cuddle-parties/374480/23 "2006-09-28T14:54:34Z")
I think we’ve had a thread about this before. It would not be for me. Nerf sex for socially retarded misfits. I can’t really put my finger on exactly what it is, but something about this idea just squicks me out of my skin. ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2006, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-thoughts-on-cuddle-parties/374480/24 "2006-09-28T15:10:20Z")
Creepy creepy CREEPY! I’m quite pleased that other people have already come up with all the reasons this is incredibly creepy. > [@AHunter3](#): > > I’d go to one. And I don’t understand all the vitriol. If it isn’t your cup of herbal tea, don’t drink it. > > It sounds a lot less pathetic than going to a singles bar or an orgy. And furries explain that their conventions aren’t at all pathetic or creepy either. And they’re wrong as well. ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2006, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-thoughts-on-cuddle-parties/374480/25 "2006-09-28T15:33:07Z")
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic] It would not be for me. Nerf sex for socially retarded misfits. [/QUOTE] Ya sure? ---
**Author:** ![Autumn\_Almanac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d26b3c/32.png) [@Autumn\_Almanac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autumn_Almanac)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2006, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-thoughts-on-cuddle-parties/374480/26 "2006-09-28T15:41:00Z")
[QUOTE=Excalibre] And furries explain that their conventions aren’t at all pathetic or creepy either. And they’re wrong as well. [/QUOTE] Not to hijack the thread… but what’s so creepy about furries? Note I agree that cuddle parties are weird, but dressing up as a tiger or whatever doesn’t strike me as very different from dressing up as a nurse or a cheerleader. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2006, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-thoughts-on-cuddle-parties/374480/27 "2006-09-28T15:48:30Z")
[QUOTE=don’t ask] I always say that the only people I kiss are little kids, elderly people… [/QUOTE] Ewww. > [@Excalibre](#): > > I’m quite pleased that other people have already come up with all the reasons this is incredibly creepy. I haven’t seen any actual reasons, I’ve only seen rather lame assumptions about others’ motivations. Well, that and what seems to be peer-pressure issues for **Mangetout**. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2006, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-thoughts-on-cuddle-parties/374480/28 "2006-09-28T15:52:14Z")
[QUOTE=Autumn Almanac] Not to hijack the thread… but what’s so creepy about furries? Note I agree that cuddle parties are weird, but dressing up as a tiger or whatever doesn’t strike me as very different from dressing up as a nurse or a cheerleader. [/QUOTE] Women who dress like nurses or cheerleaders (is it really even that common?) don’t fabricate elaborate identities for themselves and basically disappear into anonymous, non-threatening characters who can only relate to people wearing bear suits. I don’t know if “creepy” is the word but it does seem to bespeak an intense fear of intimacy and lack of touch with reality. Plus, a chick who wears a French maid uniform is really only doing it for the guy, not herself. It’s not really elaborate role playing, just a hot “look.” ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2006, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-thoughts-on-cuddle-parties/374480/29 "2006-09-28T15:53:28Z")
[QUOTE=Waverly] Ya sure? [/QUOTE] Do you have a problem with me that you’d like to take to the Pit or something? ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2006, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-thoughts-on-cuddle-parties/374480/30 "2006-09-28T15:53:59Z")
[QUOTE=Autumn Almanac] Not to hijack the thread… but what’s so creepy about furries? Note I agree that cuddle parties are weird, but dressing up as a tiger or whatever doesn’t strike me as very different from dressing up as a nurse or a cheerleader. [/QUOTE] You want to dress up like a tiger and have sex? I got no complaints. But furries go around telling everyone that it’s not about sex - it’s because they’re actually animals, deep down. Animals who hang out in internet chatrooms and have particularly cutesy cybersex instead of developing actual relationships with other animals. Furries are social outcasts who band together and reinforce each other’s bizarre ideas; it’s the sort of thing that happens to people who don’t have others around to keep them sane. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2006, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-thoughts-on-cuddle-parties/374480/31 "2006-09-28T15:57:44Z")
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic] \ fabricate elaborate identities for themselves and basically disappear into anonymous, non-threatening characters who can only relate to people wearing bear suits. [/QUOTE] Except for the bear suits, that sounds a lot - not exactly, but a lot - like socializing online, including the SDMB. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2006, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-thoughts-on-cuddle-parties/374480/32 "2006-09-28T16:02:03Z")
You guys are in for a treat in terms of moral outrage. Here in Australia we have people that have sex with members of the same gender. No doubt it will catch on overseas soon. You will be able to be like my ex-wife, forever saying, “I can’t believe that anyone could enjoy (insert physical act here).” I, apparently, lack her discernment because I can believe that people derive all manner of pleasure from things totally alien to me. And I can see that if they enjoy it they will keep doing it. And if it harms no-one, I don’t think it makes them weird. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2006, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-thoughts-on-cuddle-parties/374480/33 "2006-09-28T16:04:44Z")
[QUOTE=The Weird One] [QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic] \ fabricate elaborate identities for themselves and basically disappear into anonymous, non-threatening characters who can only relate to people wearing bear suits.QUOTE] Except for the bear suits, that sounds a lot - not exactly, but a lot - like socializing online, including the SDMB. [/QUOTE] It’s more than that. SDMB posting does not become a surrogate for love and sex relationships. Most of us do not have to hide ourselves in bunny suits in order to be physically inimate with another person. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2006, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-thoughts-on-cuddle-parties/374480/34 "2006-09-28T16:06:26Z")
[QUOTE=don’t ask] You guys are in for a treat in terms of moral outrage. Here in Australia we have people that have sex with members of the same gender. No doubt it will catch on overseas soon. You will be able to be like my ex-wife, forever saying, “I can’t believe that anyone could enjoy (insert physical act here).” I, apparently, lack her discernment because I can believe that people derive all manner of pleasure from things totally alien to me. And I can see that if they enjoy it they will keep doing it. And if it harms no-one, I don’t think it makes them weird. [/QUOTE] I don’t think any of it is harmful or immoral, but lots of stuff can be weird without being harmful. Look at Bjork. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2006, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-thoughts-on-cuddle-parties/374480/35 "2006-09-28T16:15:00Z")
It’s hard to argue the Bjork point but “Most of us do not have to hide ourselves in bunny suits in order to be physically inimate with another person” is not all that far removed from “Most men do not have sex with other men.” I just don’t care that some people **do** have to hide themselves in bunny suits in order to be physically inimate with another person. Good luck to them. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2006, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-thoughts-on-cuddle-parties/374480/36 "2006-09-28T16:15:01Z")
Eh, Furrys, cuddle-partys- whatever floats your boat (in a more or less legal and completely non-dangerous manner, of course). I don’t see the problem, I can’t see anything creepy. I can see not wanting to take part- sure. I personally don’t want to take part in Gay sex either. But the fact that many of my friends are gay doesn’t bother me at all. Thinking that “cuddle parties are creepy” is rather akin to thinking gay sex is creepy, now isn’t it? Methinks too many dudes have too many hangups. Don’t like the idea? _Then don’t do it._ ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2006, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-thoughts-on-cuddle-parties/374480/37 "2006-09-28T16:43:25Z")
[QUOTE=DrDeth] Eh, Furrys, cuddle-partys- whatever floats your boat (in a more or less legal and completely non-dangerous manner, of course). I don’t see the problem, I can’t see anything creepy. I can see not wanting to take part- sure. I personally don’t want to take part in Gay sex either. But the fact that many of my friends are gay doesn’t bother me at all. Thinking that “cuddle parties are creepy” is rather akin to thinking gay sex is creepy, now isn’t it? Methinks too many dudes have too many hangups. Don’t like the idea? _Then don’t do it._ [/QUOTE] A-friggin-men. If it’s between consenting adults, there’s nothing creepy about it. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2006, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-thoughts-on-cuddle-parties/374480/38 "2006-09-28T16:49:57Z")
[QUOTE=Waverly] (do adults wear pajamas?) [/QUOTE] I do. Flannel ones with penguins on them. I guess I qualify as an adult. ---
**Author:** ![FormerMarineGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/65b543/32.png) [@FormerMarineGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FormerMarineGuy)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2006, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-thoughts-on-cuddle-parties/374480/39 "2006-09-28T16:54:28Z")
[QUOTE=Larry Borgia] A-friggin-men. If it’s between consenting adults, there’s nothing creepy about it. [/QUOTE] No, it really is weird. No doubts about it. But I agree with the consenting adults thing. This is coming from me. Freaking weird, weird, weird. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2006, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-thoughts-on-cuddle-parties/374480/40 "2006-09-28T17:06:31Z")
> [@](#): > > Respect people’s privacy when sharing about Cuddle Parties and do not gossip. The first rule about Cuddle Party is you _do not_ talk about Cuddle Party. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-thoughts-on-cuddle-parties/374480.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-your-thoughts-on-cuddle-parties/374480.md?page=3)