Copy cat.
One of my cats likes to “groom” me. If I’m in bed she likes to lick my feet or legs. If I’m watching tv, she’ll hop up next to me and lick my arm or hand. The thing is, I like how it feels, so I don’t stop her. And yes, I wash myself afterward.
I try not to think about where else that tongue has been.
Timer? For grilling steaks/fillets? I’ve always cooked meat by feel, and always serve the meat perfectly done to the person’s request. Plus, I can taste how the marinade is doing. Seriously, how could I use a timer when the heat source is variable?
I’m sure virtually everyone picks their nose from time to time. But how many of you use a q-tip when the finger can’t get everything? It’s become an art, getting the q-tip to grab something and pull it out, rather than pushing it farther in.
overly, I used to cross-contaminate with meat. I have a solution that doesn’t compromise laziness! These gloves are thin and I use 'em to handle meat, and if I need to touch something else I just slip one of them off to touch something. Then just toss them, and the meat never directly touches your hands either.
Well, maybe he just wants you to make poached pears in wine sauce and invite me over. 
Some rules about cleanliness have been revised a few times in my lifetime. So it’s hard to keep up with what is safe and what is not.
I was always taught to not eat anything off of the floor. Not even off of the kitchen table, for goodness sakes. The I heard about the five-second rule. Five is what I was told. And I changed my habits.
It’s worth saying that I wash my kitchen floor a couple of times a week. Not because I’m super consciencious but because the floor is cream-colored and shows every spot.
Recently I heard on public radio that the , um, five-second rule no longer applies and you shouldn’t eat anything dropped on the floor. So I’ve come full circle. Go figure.
Don’t eat bacon undercooked switched to don’t eat bacon overcooked.
Butter on a burn turned to ice on a burn.
You think you know the truth of a matter and then THEY do a study and change the rules.
Did I mention that being hyper clean can be bad for your immune system? Who knew?
Overly, you can be my friend. I’ll even use the bathroom after you!
The cats sleep in our bed. Or, as I sometimes say, we have a queen-sized cat bed that they allow us to sleep in.
The cats are allowed on the furniture, with the exception of the dining room table and kitchen counters.
When we’re cooking chicken, turkey, beef, or fish, the cats get a little bit raw, on a paper plate on the floor. Most things we cook have onions or garlic in them, so we can’t give the cats our cooked food. I think Luna’s favorite food is raw ground turkey, and Katya’s is sushi-grade ahi.
When we have sour cream, Luna gets to lick off the sour cream spoon. The spoon goes directly into the sink after this- it doesn’t go back into the sour cream. That would be disgusting.
We don’t make the bed. I say this is for the cats, because they like to lie on sheets that smell like their humans (Katya loves to lie on stuff that smells like us). But really, I didn’t make the bed even before we got the cats. There’s some new research showing that not making your bed might be more sanitary than making it, because unmade beds are less hospitable to dust mites. So this one might get downgraded to just a sloppy habit, rather than an unsanitary one.
I sometimes eat while sitting in front of my computer, and use the computer while eating. When I’m employed, I eat at my desk and use the computer while I’m eating almost every day.
I don’t wash the sheets or towels as often as I should. I am trying to work on this.
These are the opposite of unsanitary habits. These are things that normal people do. Hovering is a disgusting and unsanitary habit, especially if you get something on the toilet seat and don’t wipe it up afterward. Using a paper towel on the restroom door isn’t unsanitary, but it’s weird.
I have absolutely never seen anybody use a paper towel to open the bathroom door, and I’d laugh like a banshee at anybody I caught doing it.
Same goes for having a seat cover on a supermarket trolley’s kid seat.
If those ridiculous habits ever catch on over here, I’m holding anyone who ever mentioned them on Teh Internets personally responsible 
Awesome! I’ll see you in the bathroom. Wait…that sounds weird.
Thanks for the link lindsaybluth - anything that helps me maintain my laziness is a good thing.
And Aspidistra, if you ever see someone using a paper towel to open the bathroom door after washing hands, warn me, ok? That way I can hide.
I’ve seen this one and it actually makes sense. After all, I know that I’ve washed my hands, and if I’ve got a cold or whatever, well, I’ve already got those germs. However, I don’t know anything about the last lady who opened the bathroom door. Did she wash? is she carrying Ebola? Last thing I want is to pick up someone else’s germs on my hand and convey them directly to my inner nasal cavities…
or, er, whatever I touch next.
Not that I routinely do the towel/door handle thing; for the most part I consider it all a part of having a vibrant immune system. I don’t get sick all that often anyway.
I used to have a cow-orker who not only used a paper towel to open the lavatory door, but THREW IT ON THE FLOOR behind her afterwards. Because her completely sterile hands should not touch that horrid object that had actually touched a surface that someone else had once touched. I’m sure she’s the one who left piss on the toilet seat.
I am glad to hear that not making the bed is more sanitary. I rarely do that unless we have company coming. Mostly because my husband is still IN the bed when I leave for work, and when I get home, well, why bother since I’m going to be back there in a few hours anyway. Obviously the unmade bed doesn’t bother Himself either.
We let our cats everywhere. On the bed, on the table, whatever. I don’t let them near my work area when I’m cooking though, because yuk, who want’s cat fur in the casserole?
What a bitch. Seriously.
I use my pants as a napkin.
I share drinking glasses with, well, anybody that’s okay with it. Mostly my mom. I’ll share a plate with people too.
I’ll share a flask with pretty much anybody (but mostly just my Guild). It’s alcohol, it’s sterile, right? (no)
I eat food that falls on the floor, if the floor is reasonably clean.
I eat quite a few meals on the couch. If I can, when I’m having breakfast I’ll have one of the cats in my lap and I feed her cheerios.
I don’t always wash my hands after I use the restroom. (I do wash them before I cook or set the table or something like that).
I don’t change my sheets nearly as often as I should. I tend to put off laundry until I’m out of something.
All of your confessions have encouraged me to admit that I have never in my life used a toilet seat cover. If the seat looks that dirty I wipe it off, go someplace else, or just hold it.
I do make the bed, however. Does that mean I even out and am not totally slovenly?
ETA: I am 63 so evidently not using seat covers won’t actually kill you.
No. If we see someone doing that, we should all point and laugh!
Yes! There’s a roll of paper right there that could be used for wiping purposes. And then there’s a handy toilet you could throw it into.
I lost my seat cover virginity on a recent trip to Chicago. I used a public restroom somewhere on the turnpike between here and there that had an automatic toilet seat cover changer. I am NOT making this up, as Dave Barry used to say. I thought it was totally ridiculous and environmentally unfriendly (think of all the trash or extra sewage it generates). At least I don’t think it was in Pennsylvania, so my tax dollars probably were not wasted on this stupid concession to some people’s germophobia.