# What bizarre chimaeric organism would you engineer? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 10, 2012, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-bizarre-chimaeric-organism-would-you-engineer/627781 "2012-07-10T12:23:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tastes_of_chocolate/32/3232_2.png) [@Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tastes_of_Chocolate)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2012, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-bizarre-chimaeric-organism-would-you-engineer/627781/21 "2012-07-10T21:22:04Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > The animated [fur](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Literature/VorkosiganSaga?from=Main.VorkosiganSaga) from Brother in Arms by Lois Bujold would be interesting! Dang, that was going to be my request. I’d like one colored like a snow leopard, please. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2012, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-bizarre-chimaeric-organism-would-you-engineer/627781/22 "2012-07-10T21:39:47Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > I can already predict a very profitable growth market for cat-girls and plan to get in on the ground floor. > > I don’t judge; I just cash the checks. > [@Ranchoth](#): > > …Mermaids are out, right? Same with Centaurs? > > Well, since tiny elephants have already been listed, I’ll start off with…what the hell, a sequoia redwood/cover hybrid, so I could have a bizarro Alice-in-Wonderland style forest planted. The maturation timescale might be a problem, admittedly. > > Or…a specialized fly/anteater hybrid, that eats rotting or diseased tissue with the aid of it’s long, prehensile tongue. Which makes it both the most disturbing _and_ most beneficial to humanity creature on the list. > > Dog/tortoise hybrid…solely to extend the average lifespan of the former. ☹ > [@Mangetout](#): > > If you want them, we can make them. Making sentient creatures might bring up some ethical issues for Sneelock to sort out, but I’m sure he can do it. I choose Bunnygirls, and I will work out a marketing/franchise agreement with Hefner, posthaste. Also, I foresee a need for Flying Monkeys. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2012, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-bizarre-chimaeric-organism-would-you-engineer/627781/23 "2012-07-10T21:42:08Z")
Forget working on _other_ organisms. I want to inject myself with some ManBat serum. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2012, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-bizarre-chimaeric-organism-would-you-engineer/627781/24 "2012-07-10T21:48:17Z")
Cross flying squirrels with cats to make flying cats. ---
**Author:** ![Nunzio\_Tavulari](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Nunzio\_Tavulari](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nunzio_Tavulari)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2012, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-bizarre-chimaeric-organism-would-you-engineer/627781/25 "2012-07-10T22:00:25Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > Cross flying squirrels with cats to make flying cats. I’d like something similar, but not flying. Just give the cats more squirrel genes so they’re tempted to dash across the road more often. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2012, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-bizarre-chimaeric-organism-would-you-engineer/627781/26 "2012-07-10T22:09:01Z")
Let’s see. I combine octopi, spiders, bees, bats, salamanders, and humans (for brains). The resulting critters look like bat winged flying squidspiders (in fact, let’s call them that); with six or so eyes, 8 legs and ten tentacles. They are intelligent tool users and live in giant webbed hives; they can also regenerate lost or damaged body parts. And of course they are venomous, amphibious and can fly at night with ultrasound. I figure they ought to at least essentially take over the oceans. ---
**Author:** ![Gagundathar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@Gagundathar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gagundathar)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2012, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-bizarre-chimaeric-organism-would-you-engineer/627781/27 "2012-07-10T22:13:41Z")
I think you just created something that could really compete with H. sapiens. That might not be a good idea. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2012, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-bizarre-chimaeric-organism-would-you-engineer/627781/28 "2012-07-10T22:18:33Z")
**Der Trihs** What you describe sounds like a cross between an [Elder Thing](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=15258506&posted=1#post15258506) and a [Byakhee](http://files.myopera.com/Azaroth/albums/115454/byakhee2.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2012, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-bizarre-chimaeric-organism-would-you-engineer/627781/29 "2012-07-10T22:57:18Z")
I want a muskie crossed with a weasel that can breathe air and water both. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2012, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-bizarre-chimaeric-organism-would-you-engineer/627781/30 "2012-07-10T23:14:47Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > **Der Trihs** > > What you describe sounds like a cross between an [Elder Thing](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=15258506&posted=1#post15258506) and a [Byakhee](http://files.myopera.com/Azaroth/albums/115454/byakhee2.jpg) I definitely had Lovecraft in mind with these guys, yes. Maybe they should be designed to cry out _“Tekeli-li!”_ on occasion. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2012, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-bizarre-chimaeric-organism-would-you-engineer/627781/31 "2012-07-10T23:18:32Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > Let’s see. I combine octopi, :: pauses to put on asbestos suit:: _Octopodes_. :: runs & hides :: ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2012, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-bizarre-chimaeric-organism-would-you-engineer/627781/32 "2012-07-10T23:27:36Z")
> [@Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](#): > > Dang, that was going to be my request. I’d like one colored like a snow leopard, please. sounds pretty, I would like champagne mink =) > [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > Let’s see. I combine octopi, spiders, bees, bats, salamanders, and humans (for brains). The resulting critters look like bat winged flying squidspiders (in fact, let’s call them that); with six or so eyes, 8 legs and ten tentacles. They are intelligent tool users and live in giant webbed hives; they can also regenerate lost or damaged body parts. And of course they are venomous, amphibious and can fly at night with ultrasound. I figure they ought to at least essentially take over the oceans. Ia pthagen Ia Ia! \ ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-bizarre-chimaeric-organism-would-you-engineer/627781/33 "2012-07-11T02:20:28Z")
I predict a sharp rise in My Little Pony franchise sales. What girl WOULDN’T want their own earth pony, ponycorn, or pegasus? It’s marketing GENIUS! And holy hell, the sales to Bronies alone would be worth a fortune. ---
**Author:** ![jackdavinci](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackdavinci/32/3259_2.png) [@jackdavinci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackdavinci)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-bizarre-chimaeric-organism-would-you-engineer/627781/34 "2012-07-11T02:21:31Z")
A griffin or teenage mutant ninja turtle. Or maybe a smurf. ---
**Author:** ![typoink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecb155/32.png) [@typoink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/typoink)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-bizarre-chimaeric-organism-would-you-engineer/627781/35 "2012-07-11T02:24:44Z")
I’m with Karl Pilkington: head of an owl, body of an armadillo, snail slime transit, and peacock tail. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-bizarre-chimaeric-organism-would-you-engineer/627781/36 "2012-07-11T02:30:20Z")
Can those cat girls be used as assassins? I figure the claws and disarming cuteness would be a deadly combination, unless they’ve got some kind of Asimovian no killing thing stuck in their psyche. > [@August\_West](#): > > I would create a Cowpig, from which I’d get the best of both.. I’d extend the ribcage from ribs 5-12 to get more ribeyes from the Cow portion, and more bacon from the pig portion. The ass end would be pork hams. > > It would be the most delicious animal in the world. Pork _and_ beef, _ **at the same time?!** _ I’ll take four dozen! > [@Jophiel](#): > > Armadilli-Horned-Mega-Wolves? Eh, I want them to have black/grey/brown fur, they’re scarier that way. Also, they’ll have red eyes, did I mention that part? Red like arterial blood. > [@Skald the Rhymer](#): > > You’ll be hearing from my people, Mangetout. Do you really think that if he could pull this off he would let us know before hand? I mean, if _you_ had pulled this off, we’d all be waist deep in octo-raptors, or titanopedes, or rhino-slimes. Well, except for me, I’d be waist deep in the corpses of those things. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-bizarre-chimaeric-organism-would-you-engineer/627781/37 "2012-07-11T05:10:26Z")
> [@smiling\_bandit](#): > > What girl WOULDN’T want their own …ponycorn,… It’s marketing GENIUS! It took me a minute to figure out that you weren’t talking half-horse, half ear of corn. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-bizarre-chimaeric-organism-would-you-engineer/627781/38 "2012-07-11T05:19:08Z")
Can we cross things that don’t have genetic material? Like a burrito with a shrub? I want a burrito producing shrub! ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-bizarre-chimaeric-organism-would-you-engineer/627781/39 "2012-07-11T06:24:04Z")
> [@markdash](#): > > … You are thinking too small – I want me a Dragodinocrocosharktopus, a nazi Dragodinocrocosharktopus. Yeah, it’ll kill people – LOTS of people. ---
**Author:** ![Alpha\_Twit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alpha_twit/32/265_2.png) [@Alpha\_Twit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alpha_Twit)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-bizarre-chimaeric-organism-would-you-engineer/627781/40 "2012-07-11T06:27:57Z")
Any chance you could churn out a [horta](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Devil_in_the_Dark) or six for me? If silicon based life forms are too much for you then how about a stable breeding pool of komodo dragons retro fitted with a rottweiler’s loyalty, intellect and protective instincts. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-bizarre-chimaeric-organism-would-you-engineer/627781.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-bizarre-chimaeric-organism-would-you-engineer/627781.md?page=3)