# What book titles will you never see? (But would like to) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 24, 2007, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-book-titles-will-you-never-see-but-would-like-to/409178 "2007-06-24T01:41:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![SSG\_Schwartz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SSG\_Schwartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSG_Schwartz)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2007, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-book-titles-will-you-never-see-but-would-like-to/409178/1 "2007-06-24T01:41:27Z")
My suggestions are _An Idiot’s Guide to Weapons of Mass Destruction Neurosurgery for Dummies_ Any other suggestions? Sgt Schwartz ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2007, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-book-titles-will-you-never-see-but-would-like-to/409178/2 "2007-06-24T03:11:22Z")
_14 K of G in a FPD_ by Dan Brown ---
**Author:** ![Helena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c68b51/32.png) [@Helena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2007, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-book-titles-will-you-never-see-but-would-like-to/409178/3 "2007-06-24T03:15:29Z")
My husband and I were amusing ourselves in a grocery store checkout line once and came up with _Ventriloquism for Dummies, Dressmaking for Dummies_, and _Crash-Testing for Dummies_. ---
**Author:** ![Full\_Metal\_Lotus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df705f/32.png) [@Full\_Metal\_Lotus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Full_Metal_Lotus)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2007, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-book-titles-will-you-never-see-but-would-like-to/409178/4 "2007-06-24T05:30:33Z")
The Random Order White Pages (Alphabetical Order is for Pussys!) Psllengi rof Lysedxics Bubba and Billy Bob’s Definitive Guide to Kabuki Theatre Steven Hawkings Guide to Fitness through Running FML ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2007, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-book-titles-will-you-never-see-but-would-like-to/409178/5 "2007-06-24T05:36:52Z")
_Bomb Disposal Made Easy_ ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lisa_Simpson)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2007, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-book-titles-will-you-never-see-but-would-like-to/409178/6 "2007-06-24T15:43:42Z")
1001 Extremely Fussy recipes --(now with more impossible to find ingredients!) ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2007, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-book-titles-will-you-never-see-but-would-like-to/409178/7 "2007-06-24T16:20:32Z")
[QUOTE=Juliefoolie] 1001 Extremely Fussy recipes --(now with more impossible to find ingredients!) [/QUOTE] Sorry, I saw that one at B&N just yesterday. How about _If We Did It_ by Julius and Ethel Rosenberg. _And Pecked Off Her Nose_, the final installment in the Agatha Chrisite series ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2007, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-book-titles-will-you-never-see-but-would-like-to/409178/8 "2007-06-24T16:21:31Z")
Altar Boys’ Guide To Sodomy ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2007, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-book-titles-will-you-never-see-but-would-like-to/409178/9 "2007-06-24T16:22:21Z")
[QUOTE=Hung Mung] _14 K of G in a FPD_ by Dan Brown [/QUOTE] 😃 Teach your kitten quantum mechanics ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2007, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-book-titles-will-you-never-see-but-would-like-to/409178/10 "2007-06-24T16:37:08Z")
My Life as Satan’s Right Hand Man by Carl Rove My Presidency Was a Mistake, and I Apologize to Everyone by George W. Bush How to Pick Up Women by Bill Clinton ---
**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2007, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-book-titles-will-you-never-see-but-would-like-to/409178/11 "2007-06-24T17:10:40Z")
“Stop the War Now” by Tony Blair “Yes, Of Course I Was Elected” by Gordon Brown. “On Civility and Moderating One’s Language” by Gordon Ramsey. ---
**Author:** ![BJMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@BJMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BJMoose)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2007, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-book-titles-will-you-never-see-but-would-like-to/409178/12 "2007-06-24T21:13:27Z")
[QUOTE=Helena] . . . _Ventriloquism for Dummies_ . . . [/QUOTE] That is just plain 😃 ! After spending too much time in the latest JFK Assassination thread I find myself longing for something like _I Lied Through My Teeth_ by Mark Lane, but that will never happen. Lemme see. . . . _Obedience for Cats_ _Politics as Public Service_ _Serene Modesty_ by Paris Hilton _Be Your Own Man_ by Ed Zotti There goes my subscription. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2007, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-book-titles-will-you-never-see-but-would-like-to/409178/13 "2007-06-25T06:20:10Z")
(never mind.) ---
**Author:** ![Gukumatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/74df32/32.png) [@Gukumatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gukumatz)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2007, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-book-titles-will-you-never-see-but-would-like-to/409178/14 "2007-06-25T07:13:52Z")
Cooking For Absolute Morons (with an infinitesmall comprehension of cooking utensils and no patience for running to obscure stories in East Delhi for ingredients) ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2007, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-book-titles-will-you-never-see-but-would-like-to/409178/15 "2007-06-25T07:30:31Z")
[QUOTE=Gukumatz] Cooking For Absolute Morons (with an infinitesmall comprehension of cooking utensils and no patience for running to obscure stories in East Delhi for ingredients) [/QUOTE] FWIW, the bookstore I work in has pretty much an entire section on this very topic. Then again, East Delhi is a longer trip from here. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2007, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-book-titles-will-you-never-see-but-would-like-to/409178/16 "2007-06-25T07:57:33Z")
[Psychic Self Defense: a practical guide](http://www.amazon.com/Practical-Guide-Psychic-Self-Defense-Strengthen/dp/0875421903) My Big Fat Greek Wedding by Jackie O ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2007, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-book-titles-will-you-never-see-but-would-like-to/409178/17 "2007-06-25T08:54:06Z")
_Better Living Through Death_ by Richard Feynman. _Appeal For Clemency_ by Kim Jong-il. (Not a book, but a document delivered to a markedly unimpressed World Court.) _Last Request_ by Fidel Castro. (Again, not quite in the book genre.) ---
**Author:** ![Stanislaus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stanislaus/32/3391_2.png) [@Stanislaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stanislaus)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2007, 10:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-book-titles-will-you-never-see-but-would-like-to/409178/18 "2007-06-25T10:08:47Z")
_The Small Business Guide to Successful Tax Evasion_ _The Busy Traveller’s Guide to Circumventing Airport Security_ _A Social Guide to Islamabad_ by Salman Rushdie _Why You Will Never Be Rich: The Wealthy Are Just Better Than You, Pauper Scum_ By Bill Gates and Warren Buffet ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Hildo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bbce88/32.png) [@Johnny\_Hildo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Hildo)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2007, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-book-titles-will-you-never-see-but-would-like-to/409178/19 "2007-06-25T11:58:40Z")
[QUOTE=amrussell] _The Small Business Guide to Successful Tax Evasion_ [/QUOTE] When [Loompanics](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loompanics) was still in business they had an entire section of books devoted to this very subject. ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2007, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-book-titles-will-you-never-see-but-would-like-to/409178/20 "2007-06-25T13:27:31Z")
[QUOTE=Johnny Hildo] When [Loompanics](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loompanics) was still in business they had an entire section of books devoted to this very subject. [/QUOTE] I had no idea Loompanics was closed. I got my now-battered copy of the Principia Discordia through them. Shame, that. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-book-titles-will-you-never-see-but-would-like-to/409178.md?page=2)