# What can I wear to black tie wedding?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-can-i-wear-to-black-tie-wedding/103627>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [April 14, 2002, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-can-i-wear-to-black-tie-wedding/103627 "2002-04-14T22:27:50Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 9\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\
**Post date:** [April 16, 2002, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-can-i-wear-to-black-tie-wedding/103627/21 "2002-04-16T16:32:30Z")

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Eve, you are quite right about the designation.

the problem with saying SEMI-formal is that some guy will take that as “khakis and a pressed shirt”, which it def. is not. (see above comment on being over dressed. Some guys were showing up in black khaki type pants, white shirts and a _black tie_)

For the average Joe, the black tie designation _is_ ‘formal’ regardless of how it is viewed ‘socially’.

One can go into the dif. types of attire: morning suits, dinner jackets, etc. and what technically goes with what.  
it can get really confusing as to what goes where and how and when. it’s maddening I tell you!

I think, though, that for your typical wedding, it is ok to call a black tie affair formal. less confusing and all.

good call on the cumberbund (it’s a crumb catcher, right? 😉 )  
and the black shoes. Navy dresses need navy shoes, with few exceptions.

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**Author:** ![waterj2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/858c86/32.png) [@waterj2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/waterj2)\
**Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-can-i-wear-to-black-tie-wedding/103627/22 "2002-04-17T03:40:08Z")

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Ah, the morning suit. There’s something good for any time you happen to be invited to the Queen’s Garden Party. And, uh, all those other formal events you go to before evening. Oh, how complete my life would be if I was in a position to actually need to own a morning suit.

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**Author:** ![LordVor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90ced4/32.png) [@LordVor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LordVor)\
**Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-can-i-wear-to-black-tie-wedding/103627/23 "2002-04-17T03:53:09Z")

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**Green Bean** , you are welcome to disagree. You may even be right, to an extent. There certainly isn’t anything wrong with going into a store that you don’t need anything at and ‘kick the tires’. But if you’re not buying, your use of the sales staff should be kept to a minimum, especially if the store’s busy enough where people who are buying things have to wait longer because you’re monopolizing the staff’s time. I don’t think that there’s much that a salesman hates more than spending an hour on a customer and have that customer walk out empty handed. Unless the customer says “Thanks for the help, I’m going to buy it at another store” as (s)he’s leaving.

-lv

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**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\
**Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-can-i-wear-to-black-tie-wedding/103627/24 "2002-04-17T04:43:43Z")

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**LordVor** –I think we are imagining the scenario two different ways. You are imagining a situation where the OP gets a lot of close customer service from an attentive and knowledgeable salesperson. I imagine a situation where the salesperson points at a few racks, says “these would be good,” and then disappears. I base my image on experiences in department store dress departments. You just don’t get much service. Even in the rare situations where you might get good service, like at Nordstrom’s, the equation is still balanced in the retailer’s favor. The OP may well walk out empty-handed, but be back the next day to buy something after she turns up nothing at the thrift shop. No department store saleslady will spend that much time with a customer anyway.

Now, if we’re talking about a different industry where identical goods are available at different retailers, and each sale demands a lot of individual attention, then I agree with you. I work in an outdoor store. If I spend an hour trying hiking boots on you, and you don’t find anything you really like enough to buy, that’s okay–as long as you were seriously shopping. If you were just killing time–that’s not okay. If we found a good fit for you and then you drive up to Camp-Mor to buy them because they are 5 bucks cheaper, then :mad:.

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**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\
**Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-can-i-wear-to-black-tie-wedding/103627/25 "2002-04-17T15:14:55Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by waterj2 \*  
> \*\*Ah, the morning suit. There’s something good for any time you happen to be invited to the Queen’s Garden Party. And, uh, all those other formal events you go to before evening. Oh, how complete my life would be if I was in a position to actually need to own a morning suit. \*\*

what??

you don’t attend these fetes?

oh heavens, me.  
I have been conversing with

…a commoner. (faints)  
😉

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**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\
**Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-can-i-wear-to-black-tie-wedding/103627/26 "2002-04-17T15:57:59Z")

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" That’s one of the reasons that things are cheaper at the thrift stores, they don’t have employees who are likely to help with questions like “What do I wear to a black-tie wedding?”

Oh, I work for three thrift shops, we are more than happy to answer those questions. Most  
of the people working in our shops are 70 years old (not me) or more & I can tell you, they know  
plenty about what you can wear.

A lot of the stuff we sell came from Macy’s probably.

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**Author:** ![LordVor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90ced4/32.png) [@LordVor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LordVor)\
**Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-can-i-wear-to-black-tie-wedding/103627/27 "2002-04-18T00:15:28Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Green Bean \*  
> \*\* I imagine a situation where the salesperson points at a few racks, says “these would be good,” and then disappears. I base my image on experiences in department store dress departments. \*\*

Ah. Then I bow to your greater knowledge of buying women’s clothes. :rolleyes: I guess the golden rule of “don’t be a jerk” applies.

-lv

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**Author:** ![HerMajestyLorna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/7cd45c/32.png) [@HerMajestyLorna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HerMajestyLorna)\
**Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-can-i-wear-to-black-tie-wedding/103627/28 "2002-04-18T00:32:54Z")

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Hmmm, these are wonderfully useful suggestions. I will remember: no watch, upward cumberbund for date, no navy with black, check with the family for intended meaning of “black tie,” and be comfortable.

Now I am all ready to go!

I just have to actually buy the dress…and I will let you know what I decide.

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**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\
**Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-can-i-wear-to-black-tie-wedding/103627/29 "2002-04-18T01:09:27Z")

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have a SWELL time!  
Post a picture, too!

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