# What Christmas standard do you not want to hear any more? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 6, 2016, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-christmas-standard-do-you-not-want-to-hear-any-more/774056 "2016-12-06T22:17:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Kron](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kron/32/12444_2.png) [@Kron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kron)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2016, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-christmas-standard-do-you-not-want-to-hear-any-more/774056/121 "2016-12-08T20:42:27Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > No novelty songs, please-Just the ones you hear every year on the radio. > > For me, it’s Madonna’s sterile version of “Santa Baby”. I much prefer [Eartha Kitt’s version.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFMyF9fDKzE) All of them. ---
**Author:** ![Soylent\_Juicy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@Soylent\_Juicy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soylent_Juicy)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2016, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-christmas-standard-do-you-not-want-to-hear-any-more/774056/122 "2016-12-08T20:48:43Z")
If I never hear that one about the mouse and the dead cat again in my life it will still be too soon. (Something about a mouse caught outside on a cold night, a cat curls around it to keep it warm and freezes to death, then Santa shows up and takes the cat to heaven in his sleigh. What the hell.) ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2016, 9:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-christmas-standard-do-you-not-want-to-hear-any-more/774056/123 "2016-12-10T09:58:10Z")
Just the rest of you thank your lucky stars you don’t have to hear “Christmas in the Northwest” on your radio stations every December. ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2016, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-christmas-standard-do-you-not-want-to-hear-any-more/774056/124 "2016-12-10T14:56:13Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > Just the rest of you thank your lucky stars you don’t have to hear “Christmas in the Northwest” on your radio stations every December. But… but… it’s a gift God wrapped in green. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2016, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-christmas-standard-do-you-not-want-to-hear-any-more/774056/125 "2016-12-10T16:24:33Z")
> [@ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness](#): > > _Little Drummer Boy_ by anybody. > > If there’s a good version of this one, I haven’t heard it. And yes, that includes Bing and Bowie, and Joan Jett’s versions. I’ve improved it by providing an alternate third verse that more accurately reflects the reaction of the mother of a newborn baby when somebody offers a drum lullaby as a baby shower gift: (_Shall I play for you, pa-rum-pa-pum-pum/On my drum?_) \*Mary nodded, pa-rum-pa-pum-pum It was a secret sign, pa-rum-pa-pum-pum Then Joseph took my arm, pa-rum-pa-pum-pum He led me from the barn, pa-rum-pa-pum-pum, Rum-pa-pum-pum, rum-pa-pum-pum Then he smiled at me, pa-rum-pa-pum-pum And fed me my drum…\* ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2016, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-christmas-standard-do-you-not-want-to-hear-any-more/774056/126 "2016-12-10T16:27:28Z")
> [@commasense](#): > > All of them! > > Except for Vince Guaraldi’s [_Linus and Lucy_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6zypc_LhnM), because it’s [**not a Christmas song!**](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=710415) Is TOO! ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2016, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-christmas-standard-do-you-not-want-to-hear-any-more/774056/127 "2016-12-10T16:34:24Z")
“All I want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth.” Department stores and shopping malls in Thailand, thinking this is the ultimate in Christmas music in the West, would play it nonstop for Western shoppers every December. That and “Frosty thee Snowman.” I suppose they’re doing it right now. One thing I do miss are rousing renditions of “Jinger Ben,” the Thai pronunciation of “Jingle Bells.” ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2016, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-christmas-standard-do-you-not-want-to-hear-any-more/774056/128 "2016-12-10T16:36:30Z")
> [@missred](#): > > Y’all forgot the Band Aid number from the eighties _Do They Know It’s Christmas?_. DO THEY FUCKING CARE? > > For whatever perverse reason(s), it seems to come up on the Christmas playlists of radio stations and Pandora multiple times every year. Blech! _“Thank God it’s them/Instead of you!”_ ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2016, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-christmas-standard-do-you-not-want-to-hear-any-more/774056/129 "2016-12-10T16:40:58Z")
> [@amarinth](#): > > That cover version of “Hallelujah” that’s getting airplay this year? Barely even in the same universe as Christmas songs. Too bad. It’s on the playlist now, so that make it a Christmas carol. And that makes “Shrek” Christmas movie. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2016, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-christmas-standard-do-you-not-want-to-hear-any-more/774056/130 "2016-12-10T16:49:38Z")
Whitney Houston cut a version of _Do You Hear What I Hear?_ and left out the first verse about the night wind talking to the little lamb. This morning I found out that Jordin Sparks did the same thing. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2016, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-christmas-standard-do-you-not-want-to-hear-any-more/774056/131 "2016-12-10T17:45:12Z")
John Boy pitching Mercedes. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2016, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-christmas-standard-do-you-not-want-to-hear-any-more/774056/132 "2016-12-10T17:58:39Z")
_Do You Hear What I Hear_ has to be the suckiest song ever. It goes beyond bad holiday songs. ---
**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2016, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-christmas-standard-do-you-not-want-to-hear-any-more/774056/133 "2016-12-10T18:01:27Z")
Every single song on [A Very Special Christmas Vol. 1](http://www.averyspecialchristmas.org/albums/a-very-special-christmas-vol-1), except the song by Sting. Because that song is not cutesy and does not sound like anyone wants to have sex with Santa. I was working in a record store (remember record stores?) when that album came out, and the damn cassette was in heavy rotation until there was an accident that rendered the cassette unplayable. > [@eulalia](#): > > I can’t believe no one’s mentioned “The Christmas Shoes”. When I first heard that song, it was so over the top and saccharine that I burst out laughing, and offended several people around me who thought it was a wonderful religious and heartwarming tune. Now if I hear it I alternate between nausea, eye-rolling, and snickering madly. Sometimes all at once. ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2016, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-christmas-standard-do-you-not-want-to-hear-any-more/774056/134 "2016-12-11T00:01:05Z")
> [@eulalia](#): > > I can’t believe no one’s mentioned “The Christmas Shoes”. I love Christmas music in general, but that one makes me nauseated. Ugh, I’d forgotten about it until you brought it up. Thanks a lot… ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2016, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-christmas-standard-do-you-not-want-to-hear-any-more/774056/135 "2016-12-11T00:20:09Z")
A couple of years ago Barnes & Noble was playing a melancholy dirge by (I think) Harry Connick in what seemed like an endless loop. Something about being alone for the holidays. Luckily I haven’t heard it since. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2016, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-christmas-standard-do-you-not-want-to-hear-any-more/774056/136 "2016-12-12T01:42:46Z")
I’m not sure it rises to a standard, but it just came on the radio and I remembered how much I hate it. Christmas Wrapping by The Waitresses. I think I hate that more than a theoretical Santa Baby It’s Cold Outside medley. ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2016, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-christmas-standard-do-you-not-want-to-hear-any-more/774056/137 "2016-12-12T02:08:18Z")
> [@EmilyG](#): > > “Happy Xmas War is Over” and “Wonderful Christmastime.” Much as I like John Lennon and Paul McCartney’s other music, I dislike those two songs. _“So this is Christmas/and what have you done?”_ Nothing important. Fuck you. I love Lennon, too, but not this sanctimonious drone-fest of a song. ---
**Author:** ![Biotop](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biotop/32/321_2.png) [@Biotop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biotop)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2016, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-christmas-standard-do-you-not-want-to-hear-any-more/774056/138 "2016-12-12T04:22:01Z")
I frown upon “Run Run, Rudolph.” ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2016, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-christmas-standard-do-you-not-want-to-hear-any-more/774056/139 "2016-12-12T04:56:38Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > _Do You Hear What I Hear_ has to be the suckiest song ever. It goes beyond bad holiday songs. This. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2016, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-christmas-standard-do-you-not-want-to-hear-any-more/774056/140 "2016-12-12T06:14:38Z")
> [@eulalia](#): > > I can’t believe no one’s mentioned “The Christmas Shoes”. I love Christmas music in general, but that one makes me nauseated. I have always considered that to be the most repulsive Christmas song ever written. The kid’s mother’s on her death bed, and instead of being by her side, the kid’s off buying fuck-me pumps for mom to wear, to impress Jesus when she meets him. How fucked up is that? And you just know, after bullshitting some dumb schmuck to pay for the shoes, the kid’s out in the parking lot trading them for drugs. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-christmas-standard-do-you-not-want-to-hear-any-more/774056.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-christmas-standard-do-you-not-want-to-hear-any-more/774056.md?page=8)