Simple to fix…
“Are we there yet?”
“Yes. Get out.”
Most effective if said while driving down the freeway.
I’ve got two that irk the bejeezus outta me. First, whenever someone finds out their supposedly loyal spouse is cheating on them, they run out the door and PUKE. I’ve caught men cheating on me and I never felt even REMOTELY like puking. I felt like loading a gun, but not puking.
Second, why the hell don’t people say “goodbye” when they’re done with a phone call? Yet it happens all the time in the movies.
Has anyone mentioned the fact that there are apparently no such things as different brands of beer in the movie universe? People in bars always just order “a beer,” but never name a brand.
Another thing about bar and restaurant scenes is that characters will usually only take one bite of food or one sip of a drink (unless the character is supposed to be getting drunk) and push the rest away.
I don’t think so, but I agree. Product placement, unless it becomes gratutious, is the lesser evil in these cases, because in the real world, you don’t see signs on the sides of buses that says “Drink generic Beer” but rather “Drink Budwiser” and to do otherwise in the movie just seem jarring.
I’ts pretty good, yeah. But even superb movies use these dumb cliches, and would generally be better off without them. So we’re here to help the movie industry out.
Another thing, though a prop convention rather than a cliche: Why, oh why must movie makers use Hershey’s syrup for blood? It doesn’t look like blood. Blood is red. It is not brown.
And no one ever gets or waits for change in the movies. They slap some bills down, or throw them at the cabbie, and split.
I don’t remember anyone ever using a credit card either, to think of it.
Part of the Universal Studios tour includes (or at least it did back around 1986) a lot of information about Psycho, especially the infamous shower scene. The guide mentioned that chocolate syrup was used as blood because the film was shot in black and white, and the dark brown just showed up better than something with red coloring would have.
As far as chocolate syrup being used as prop blood in color movies…well, that’s news to me. Not that I’m an expert, of course.
I think you all are nuts for complaining about the phone conversations, restaurant ordering, cab-paying-for, good-parking-space-finding types of things.
If movies didn’t do that, they’d be BORING AS HELL because we’d have to actually sit there and wait as the person fumbled for their wallet, searched for change, realized they didn’t have it, handed over some bills, specified how much they wanted back, had it counted out, put it back in their wallet, reinserted their walled in their pocket, etc.
Real life is boring. I have no problem with many parts of it being streamlined in movies.
They also don’t always remember to close doors when they walk into a house or apartment.
Oh, also: Every time anyone goes grocery shopping (especially if it’s a single guy) they end up with exactly enough items to fill one paper grocery bag. Most likely there will be a loaf of french bread and/or some celery sticking out of it. Sure, that may happen occasionally, but how often do you buy french bread and celery?
I hate the “smart ass waiter/ess” gag. drives me nuts!!
I agree.
I remember one nitpicking list that bemoaned the fact that people in the movies get into aircraft and start them up like cars without doing a preflight check. I know quite a few pilots, and none would ever thing of going without the preflight.
However, none of them would tell you that watching them do the check is interesting.I get a loaf of Italian bread (almost the same shape) almost every time I go shopping. But I have not seen a paper bag used by a supermarket in years.
And to add what a couple other people said: if movie DID show people doing all the little things we did, it would be boring. Unless there’s a reason to show a guy counting out all his change for a bill (he’s got some neurosis, or hates tipping so he always leaves exact change) there’s no need to show it. And besides, you never ONCE had a restaurant bill that was easily paid for with the cash you had on hand, including tip, without needing change? I mean, if I have a ten, a five, and a few singles, and I go out to eat by myself, odds are I’ll be able to pay for myself and not need change. Most people don’t mind rounding the tip up or down a bit to make life easier for them.
However, the not closing doors thing still bugs me. 
perhaps not a scene, but one of my movie pet peeves is the perfect parking spot directly in front of the destination, in fact 2-3 empty spots negating even the need to parallel park…
When going to lunch with my co-worker, if we managed to get the “perfect” parking spot directly in front of the restaurant he would declare “whoo-hoo! Doris Day Parking!” referencing the fact that on the old TV show she always parked right in front of the stores door no matter where she shopped.
It’s a convention now, but there are ways of doing things more realistically. Restaurant scenes are there to allow people to talk. Why not have them talk over the bill paying piece? Since this constitutes the end of the meal, it can drive some good dialog.
Similarly, “Oh, did I say that out loud?”
My pet peeve is:
A: [Finally going to reveal the Secret] I have something to tell you.
B: Oh, great, I have some news too.
A: OK, you go first.
B: Some news that invalidates A’s news. ** Now what did you want to tell me?
A: Never mind, it’s not important.**
B: Are you sure?
A: Yep.
B: 'Kay!
Again a tiny, possibly stupid thing…but really obvious and fake sounding names. Like having the bad guy or anti-hero being named “Kane” or some variation of that, or “Jericho” or some slightly Biblical-ish sounding name. Yes, I know Jericho is in the Bible, but if the villain is effective we don’t need his name to be Paul Babyeater, and if he sucks it won’t matter.
I know about the “Psycho” thing, and in that movie I didn’t notice the difference.
But whether movie maker use Hershey’s or something else, there’s a lot of brown blood in movies.
The hero (or plucky sidekick) has his magic talisman/weapon/lucky coin/crucifix etc which he credits for his fantastic abilities/luck. Said item is destroyed in final battle with the bad guy. Hero looks at broken item, then at bad guy, back to the item, back to bad guy…and then throws the item away, proceeding to kick the stuffing out of the bad guy anyway.
I mean, come on, if the powerful item is destroyed, you’re screwed! Running is the option here.