# What commercials drive you insane? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 1, 2001, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-commercials-drive-you-insane/56336 "2001-03-01T04:48:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2002, 10:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-commercials-drive-you-insane/56336/161 "2002-03-17T10:04:45Z")
**Ruffian** , I was once a cubicle away from someone who would bray “You’re killing me, Larry!” every time something astounded him. Which was a lot. He also started phone calls with WAZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAP?! It’s not so much commercials which annoy me; it’s the people who won’t let them rest. The only commercial that drives me to near-mayhem is a radio commercial for some kind of depilatory. “Are you tired of that daily struggle with shaving, waxing…” No, lady, I’m tired of YOU! I turn the dial every time I hear that simpery voice, but the commercial is on almost all the local stations, so there’s no avoiding her. Once, I ducked the commercial, and got the same one on another station. ---
**Author:** ![struct](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@struct](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struct)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2002, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-commercials-drive-you-insane/56336/162 "2002-03-17T11:45:05Z")
Vagisil. All parties responsible for any commercial with the words “urine irritated skin” in them should be shot. ---
**Author:** ![struct](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@struct](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struct)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2002, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-commercials-drive-you-insane/56336/163 "2002-03-17T11:54:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Moe \* > \*\*OK, I don’t mean to beat a dying thread, but there’s one small part of one commercial that hits my cynical rage button. > > First off, let me say that I hate AOL. > > In the latest AOL commercial for AOL 6.0, when the woman says “AOL 6.0 is the best AOL ever”, ooooh just give me one slap, just one slap? pleeeeeaze? \*\* Every time I see that damned ad, I automatically respond in my best imitation of The Simpson’s Comic Book Guy: “Worst… AOL… ever!” ---
**Author:** ![struct](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@struct](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struct)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2002, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-commercials-drive-you-insane/56336/164 "2002-03-17T12:03:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shylock \* > \*\*Those damn Matthew Lesko commercials - you know, the screeching nasal voice telling you how the government has billions of dollars just waiting for you? The guy w/ the question marks all over his suit (and wtf is that for?) > > But here’s the catcher - with your purchase not only do you get his books, but you get a 6-hour audiotape. > > Can you imagine listening to that guy for 6 hours? My god, I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemies…(well, ok, maybe I would, now that I think about it) > > C. \*\* “There’sMillionsInGummintMoneyJustWaitingForYou! Thoooooooooooooooooooose… whoKnowAboutThePrograms…” ---
**Author:** ![struct](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@struct](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struct)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2002, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-commercials-drive-you-insane/56336/165 "2002-03-17T12:15:17Z")
Sorry, just one more – and I promise I’ll try to combine my mini-posts into one big list post next time. “Around here, I see a lot of GAS!” ---
**Author:** ![Stupendous\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Stupendous\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stupendous_man)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2002, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-commercials-drive-you-insane/56336/166 "2002-03-17T13:35:09Z")
I hate all commercials that are shown before a movie in a theatre. To me, this is just unnecessary. Often, they are just longer version of the ones seen on television. I also notice that movie ticket prices continue to rise, despite the fact that we have 5 minutes of paid advertising before every damned film. We don’t want to see commercials before movies. Good reviews yes, commercials, no. Now, onto the the ones I loath: 1: [www.abuckaday.com](http://www.abuckaday.com) : Dance music with words about how people don’t want a “clone” of a computer (only genuine IBM) and how “I’m knock, knock, knockin on buck-a-day’s door!” Sigh… Then the announcer has to rattle off the features so fast… Anyway, the second: The toilet tissue commercials where the cartoon bears go to the base of a tree and have a roll of this tissue which apparantly leaves you “comfortably clean” which to me basically says that “we’ll wipe all of the feces off your ass as softly as possible.” But the bears! They’re just sitting at the base of the tree! They’d just mash the crap into their fur! They’d need a whole package of tissue to get “comfortably clean” after that!! There’s no hole! It’s just a tree! And where do they put the used tissue??? ---
**Author:** ![plankter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ba0ec/32.png) [@plankter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plankter)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2002, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-commercials-drive-you-insane/56336/167 "2002-03-17T20:05:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ruffian \*\*\* > (This commercial is for a mattress company that may just be southern California–the one with “We’ll match anyone’s price or your mattress is [high-pitched, whiny, annoying as shit voice]FREEEEEEEEE!”[/high pitched, whiny, annoying as shit voice] \*\* Shit-N-Sleep…I mean, Sit-N-Sleep sponsors Michael Jackson’s radio talk show. One morning a traffic report warned of a mattress sitting in freeway lanes. Michael (the BBC alumnus, not Jacko) declared that it must be from Sit-N-Sleep because now “that mattress is FREEEEEEEEE!” ---
**Author:** ![struct](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@struct](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struct)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2002, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-commercials-drive-you-insane/56336/168 "2002-03-19T09:04:35Z")
Here’s one to add to the list: that ad for that damned dial-a-loan service with the dance club goers complaining about how they can’t buy a car because of the “big but” that’s always attached, accompanied by the visual pun of a close-up of someone’s gyrating rear end every time someone says the phrase “big but”. You know, instead of “big but”, it’s “big butt”! Ha ha ha, so funny! I haven’t laughed so hard since I read Cracked magazine’s brilliant parody of “21 Jump Street” entitled “21 Junk Heap”! So clever! :mad: ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2002, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-commercials-drive-you-insane/56336/169 "2002-03-21T05:31:46Z")
SBC/Ameritech has been running ads in the Chicago area trying to convince people not to change their phone service. They’re all variations on the same theme: Operator for “other phone company” says “I’ve got a great deal for you if you’re interested in changing your phone service.” Potential customer (either a home or business rep) thinks “I/We changed XXXXXX service once.” This is followed by a flashback of the disasters that ensued when they switched their old reliable XXXXXXX service for a (presumably) cheaper alternative. For example, the new cleaning service polished the floors to the point where everyone was sliding and falling, the new coffee service used vending machines which sprayed coffee in your face and threw things across the room or the new plumber caused projectile flooding which knocked over people on the sidewalk. Potential customer then says “I’m/We’re pretty happy with what we have now.” They’re also running print ads & billboards showing people doing stupid things like poking a wasp’s nest with the text: “Not smart. Kind of like changing your phone company.” Between these two it’s almost enough to make me want to change my phone company. If it weren’t for the fact that the other phone companies in the area are driving me nuts calling every other day to try to get me to change my phone company.:mad: ---
**Author:** ![Quintas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/48db29/32.png) [@Quintas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quintas)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2002, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-commercials-drive-you-insane/56336/170 "2002-03-21T20:32:58Z")
The (i think) Mitsubishi commercial where they start playing the dance music and the girl in the passenger seat starts doin this ‘robot dance’ with this big,dumb smile on her face. ---
**Author:** ![c\_carol](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e79b87/32.png) [@c\_carol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/c_carol)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2002, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-commercials-drive-you-insane/56336/171 "2002-03-21T21:57:21Z")
I’m puzzled by the commercial that boasts that this prescription allergy medicine is the only one “approved to treat both indoor _and_ outdoor allergies!” How does allergy medicine know whether I’m inside or outside? ---
**Author:** ![ElwoodCuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/edb3f5/32.png) [@ElwoodCuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElwoodCuse)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2002, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-commercials-drive-you-insane/56336/172 "2002-03-23T04:05:50Z")
I haven’t seen those Taco Bell ads, but I was amused by their sign at the restaurant that says “Winners eat steak!” I have to chime in for those asinine “drugs support terrorism” ads. I think “propaganda” is a better word. Every time I see them (they’ve been on during the NCAA Tournament) I want to blow up my tv. Disclosure: I don’t smoke or do any drugs, and wouldn’t whether they were legal or not. I do drink beer occasionally. But anyway, these ads piss me off to no end. First, I know people that do smoke up sometimes. And I find it hard to believe that them growing pot in their closet or whatever contributes to terrorism. Ok, so maybe they are referring to the opium fields the Taliban runs. How much of that actually gets to the U.S.? How much of that supports terrorism? Didn’t Osama Bin Laden get most of his money from his family’s construction business and from the U.S. government itself back when he was a “freedom fighter”? I am convinced that much of the problems of the drug trade are akin to organized crime and prohibition. ---
**Author:** ![zepchick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/858c86/32.png) [@zepchick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zepchick)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2002, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-commercials-drive-you-insane/56336/173 "2002-07-14T05:47:39Z")
Thank you Fionn for starting this thread. And now I will flip out. OH MY GOD, SOMEONE SHOOT THE WOMAN WHO DOES THE VOICEOVER FOR FOLGERS!!! I HATE that woman’s voice SO MUCH. And the worst part about it is, she does about a trillion other commercials too! There’s another woman who sings on a commercial with a voice similar to this, but worse, and I just want to scratch my face off every time I hear her or the Folgers bitch. Another one is the herpes medication ads. I don’t know, I just do NOT think STD meds should be advertised on television! It grosses me out! And WHY are they always kayaking?! Here’s another relatively new thing…It used to be that pregnancy tests were advertised with an attitude of excitement and happiness–the couple sitting on the couch with the e.p.t. thing, excitedly turning to each other with a “WE’RE PREGNANT!”. Now EVERY pregnancy test commercial is some chick all alone, shot in black and white film, looking like they just shit a brick and wanna die, waiting anxiously for a little line to appear. And the dialogue for these commercials is wonderful. The following one made me want to laugh hysterically and bash my tv set in with a bat all at the same time: “I feel irritable…could I be pregnant?” WTF?! If women were pregnant every time they were irritable, this would be one hell of a world! And oh, the drama of feminine protection! “We were working out at the gym and the WORST happened…but Jamie only had tampons!” Oh GOD. This is NOT the dark ages, people. I’m not gonna go off on a rant about which form of feminine protection has more merit, but please, stop making commercials about stressing over this. Do what you gotta! Last but not least, that new Wendy’s commercial. The teenage girl walks into her grandmother’s house and the grandmother asks her where she was. The girl gives the nice old granny SUCH an attitude! Why? I’m a teenager and although I’ll acquiesce to the fact that we’ll mouth off to practically everything with a brain, I happen to know that teenagers do NOT mouth off to their grandmothers. Why would you flip a bitch at someone who gives you money, candy, and baked goods? ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2002, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-commercials-drive-you-insane/56336/174 "2002-07-14T06:37:04Z")
Those damn Darrin’s Dance Groove commercials. If he’s the best choreographer ever, I’m the Queen of the Damned. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2002, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-commercials-drive-you-insane/56336/175 "2002-07-14T07:13:35Z")
“HI, I’M BILLY MAYS FOR ORANGE CLEAN OR OXY-CLEAN OR SOMETHING, AND I’M GOING TO TALK IN AN ANNOYING LOUD VOICE ABOUT CLEANING MAPLE, WALNUT, CHESNUT, MAPLE, NITROGEN PHOSPHATE, HIGH GRADE NUCLEAR WASTE AND THE PLANET VENUS --” \*_BANG!_ _Michael puts the shotgun down and gets a broom to sweep up the shattered remains of his TV._\* ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2002, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-commercials-drive-you-insane/56336/176 "2002-07-14T07:26:14Z")
“Zoom Zoom—AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*” Sez the zoom zoom kid as Tars Tarkas commits a felony… ---
**Author:** ![RedDawgEsq](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/dbc845/32.png) [@RedDawgEsq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedDawgEsq)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2002, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-commercials-drive-you-insane/56336/177 "2002-07-22T08:15:10Z")
NATIONWIDE WEARHOUSE!!!NATIONWIDE WAREHOUSE!!! Is there a segment of the population that actually responds positively to such ads? ---
**Author:** ![aquariusrhimme](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f05b48/32.png) [@aquariusrhimme](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aquariusrhimme)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2002, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-commercials-drive-you-insane/56336/178 "2002-07-22T18:03:56Z")
…:::zoom zoom:::… That little kid freaks my shit out for some reason ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2002, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-commercials-drive-you-insane/56336/179 "2002-07-23T20:24:04Z")
And i am tired of that tagline for Indiana Beach commercials_On the shores of beayutiiiful Lake Monticello proving once again- There’s more that corn in Indiana!_ FUCK YOU!!! Especially because you’re an asshole who live under a rock, and who assumes that the rest of us do too!! Hey, dickhead! Retire already , dipshit! ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2002, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-commercials-drive-you-insane/56336/180 "2002-07-23T22:01:28Z")
Listen to me very carefully: it does _not_ look like a million dollars. It looks like a nice, average mid-priced sedan. If you think that by repeating “it looks expensive!” over and over again it will actually start to look expensive, then you’re obviously stuck in the same odd alternate universe as the characters in your commercials, and I pity you. That is all. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-commercials-drive-you-insane/56336.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-commercials-drive-you-insane/56336.md?page=10)