# What corporate bullshit words and phrases do you hate? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 10, 2002, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-corporate-bullshit-words-and-phrases-do-you-hate/141832 "2002-12-10T20:17:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Blackeyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f6c823/32.png) [@Blackeyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackeyes)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-corporate-bullshit-words-and-phrases-do-you-hate/141832/21 "2002-12-10T21:28:21Z")
I sent this memo to you all so that we may touch base since the last Jesus meeting I hope you all came to and establish a dialogue over with my comprehensize suite of solutions to take a proactive approach to incentivize the cart retrieval engineers to utilize our asset investments during this resource downsizing period to force a cohesive power play and gain leverage on the competition this fiscal year. We like to think of this as thinking outside the box. ---
**Author:** ![stpauler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@stpauler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stpauler)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-corporate-bullshit-words-and-phrases-do-you-hate/141832/22 "2002-12-10T21:31:43Z")
Anything that was a noun that’s become a verb suddenly. Grrr. office computer-- (yes, I’ve had someone say to me “can you computer this report up?”) ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-corporate-bullshit-words-and-phrases-do-you-hate/141832/23 "2002-12-10T21:33:00Z")
::Beadalin’s eyeballs implode:: ---
**Author:** ![Siemsi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b19c9b/32.png) [@Siemsi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siemsi)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-corporate-bullshit-words-and-phrases-do-you-hate/141832/24 "2002-12-10T21:34:43Z")
Get “lean”, Lean Manufacturing, Six Sigma, ahhhhhh!:smack: No mooooooooorrrrrrrrrrreeee. ---
**Author:** ![Nanoda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Nanoda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nanoda)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-corporate-bullshit-words-and-phrases-do-you-hate/141832/25 "2002-12-10T21:38:32Z")
**asterion** : But it’s so helpful! I still have Petroleum Redistribution Engineer on my resume. 😉 Seriously, as an amateur astronomer/physicist, I hate the words “optics” and “impact”, when the speaker clearly means “P.R. spin” and “affect” (or “effect”). These words have clearly established meaning dolts! And they’re not the ones you’re trying to use them for! i.e. “If we don’t change the optics of the chemical spill, it will impact our finances negativley”. Grates on my brain… ---
**Author:** ![samarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@samarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samarm)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-corporate-bullshit-words-and-phrases-do-you-hate/141832/26 "2002-12-10T21:43:07Z")
“value added” “clear your desk” ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Ins\_Outs\_What-have-yous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8797f3/32.png) [@Ins\_Outs\_What-have-yous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ins_Outs_What-have-yous)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-corporate-bullshit-words-and-phrases-do-you-hate/141832/27 "2002-12-10T22:01:13Z")
I’m linking a printable [Bullshit Bingo card](http://www.perkigoth.com/home/kermit/stuff/bullshitbingo/) if anybody wants to play. Words on the card: Scope Brand[ing] Time to Market Network[ing] Buzz Profit[ability] Expectations Synergy Multitask[ing] Collaborate Team Building No-Brainer Legacy User Friendly Hardball Game Plan Dynamic Return on Investment (ROI) Open Source Ball Park Client Focus[ed] Out Source Strategic Data Mining ---
**Author:** ![DarrenS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/977dab/32.png) [@DarrenS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DarrenS)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-corporate-bullshit-words-and-phrases-do-you-hate/141832/28 "2002-12-10T22:09:16Z")
“clear your desk” is definitely something you don’t want to hear - but at least it has a well-defined meaning! Things like “leverage” and “synergize” are just vacuous, meaningless Corporatespeak. I was once in a meeting where I decided to fuck with them and see how many buzzwords I could get in a sentence (I’m usually known for speaking frankly and concisely). I came out with a whopper, something like “I think we need to leverage resources across the board if we want to go forward on this effort.” Instead of laughter, someone told me, “You’re right - I like that kind of thinking.” :smack: ---
**Author:** ![DarrenS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/977dab/32.png) [@DarrenS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DarrenS)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-corporate-bullshit-words-and-phrases-do-you-hate/141832/29 "2002-12-10T22:12:01Z")
“Drink the Kool-Aid” ?! Never heard that one - is it some kind of Heaven’s Gate reference? ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-corporate-bullshit-words-and-phrases-do-you-hate/141832/30 "2002-12-10T22:19:53Z")
“Drink the Kool-Aid” in this sense (shut up and do what you’re told, regardless of consequences) is a reference to [Jonestown](http://www.religioustolerance.org/dc_jones.htm), originally. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-corporate-bullshit-words-and-phrases-do-you-hate/141832/31 "2002-12-10T22:23:59Z")
Sorry if my explanation wasn’t clear - it also seems to be used as slang for taking some big plunge that you expect to be harmful/painful, especially if the thing in question has some sort of big word-of-mouth around it. (I saw references to “Linux-flavored Kool-Aid”, etc., when Googling for a good Jonestown link.) ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-corporate-bullshit-words-and-phrases-do-you-hate/141832/32 "2002-12-10T22:25:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ArchitectChore \* > \*\*Utilize (it suffices to say “use”) \*\* Amen, brother! ---
**Author:** ![PhiloVance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e19adc/32.png) [@PhiloVance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PhiloVance)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-corporate-bullshit-words-and-phrases-do-you-hate/141832/33 "2002-12-10T22:26:22Z")
**Blackeyes** …that was hilarious. 😉 🙂 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-corporate-bullshit-words-and-phrases-do-you-hate/141832/34 "2002-12-10T22:27:55Z")
Don’t forget “Take Home” as in “The Take Home from this is that I should speak less bullshit”. ---
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-corporate-bullshit-words-and-phrases-do-you-hate/141832/35 "2002-12-10T22:32:08Z")
“Let’s table this.” “Let’s discuss this offline.” “Let’s helicopter that.” (Meaning, take it to the higher ups.) Resource when referring to a person. I HATE, HATE, HATE that term. “Are we all on the same page?” “We’re in the ball park.” Actually, any terminology that fits sports I hate. That was a long way of saying I agree with **Maeglin**. I hate all of them. ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Tan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/charlie_tan/32/12582_2.png) [@Charlie\_Tan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Tan)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-corporate-bullshit-words-and-phrases-do-you-hate/141832/36 "2002-12-10T22:33:15Z")
“We need to focus our resources” ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-corporate-bullshit-words-and-phrases-do-you-hate/141832/37 "2002-12-10T22:33:42Z")
This may sound too Dilbertian to be true, but trust me, it is. In the company that my cousin works for new policies dictate that employees “must not be fired”, they may be however “externally relocated”. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-corporate-bullshit-words-and-phrases-do-you-hate/141832/38 "2002-12-10T22:41:12Z")
Oh Christ I totally forgot about “paradigm shift” \ How about B2B, P2P, B2P, PB&J :), ETC ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-corporate-bullshit-words-and-phrases-do-you-hate/141832/39 "2002-12-10T22:41:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nanoda \* > \*\ ***asterion** : But it’s so helpful! I still have Petroleum Redistribution Engineer on my resume. 😉 > \*\* Dang it. Why didn’t I think of that? “I have two summers experience as a Petroleum Redistribution Engineer” I really did work two summers at a gas station. ---
**Author:** ![Lady\_of\_the\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19adc/32.png) [@Lady\_of\_the\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lady_of_the_Lake)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-corporate-bullshit-words-and-phrases-do-you-hate/141832/40 "2002-12-10T22:46:26Z")
Similar to Libertarian and ArchitectCore, I HATE ‘Utilize’. It’s often used by people trying to look intelligent and clever, but clearly the proper use of grammar would help with that to a much more telling degree. (not that my grammar is very good, but I don’t use ‘utilize’, so there) 😉 Also, as a personal story, I was an administrative slave to an exec. admin. assist. up until a month ago, and she consistently forced me to change ‘use’ to ‘utilize’ in all documents…of course then the Vice Presidents would ask me to change it back to ‘use’… :rolleyes: Also: ‘Massage the Numbers’ I don’t want to massage numbers, I want to massage people, it’s just wrong. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-corporate-bullshit-words-and-phrases-do-you-hate/141832.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-corporate-bullshit-words-and-phrases-do-you-hate/141832.md?page=3)