# What corporate bullshit words and phrases do you hate? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 10, 2002, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-corporate-bullshit-words-and-phrases-do-you-hate/141832 "2002-12-10T20:17:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-corporate-bullshit-words-and-phrases-do-you-hate/141832/81 "2002-12-12T12:41:50Z")
> [@](#): > > Seriously, as an amateur astronomer/physicist, I hate the words “optics” and “impact”, when the speaker clearly means “P.R. spin” and “affect” (or “effect”). These words have clearly established meaning dolts! And they’re not the ones you’re trying to use them for! > > i.e. “If we don’t change the optics of the chemical spill, it will impact our finances negativley”. > Grates on my brain… What??? I haven’t heard this one yet. Someone taking the name of _optics_ in vain? ---
**Author:** ![Anonymous\_Coward](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/94ad74/32.png) [@Anonymous\_Coward](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anonymous_Coward)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-corporate-bullshit-words-and-phrases-do-you-hate/141832/82 "2002-12-12T13:20:33Z")
You dont give people statistics or numbers anymore. You deliver _metrics_. ick… ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-corporate-bullshit-words-and-phrases-do-you-hate/141832/83 "2002-12-12T14:14:48Z")
Forgot one that I especially hate. ‘Cut out the fluff’ in other words do away with unnecessary work. Fluff is a cat to me. ---
**Author:** ![Go\_alien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9d8465/32.png) [@Go\_alien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Go_alien)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-corporate-bullshit-words-and-phrases-do-you-hate/141832/84 "2002-12-12T14:49:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Legomancer \* > \*\*I worked at a hospital before my current job and one day, as a result of something that happened, we were changing a procedure. My boss said, “So we want to be proactive here and keep this from happening again.” > > Me: “Reactive.” > > Her: “What?” > > Me: “Reactive. Something happened, and we’re reacting to it. We’re not being proactive. Inasmuch as proactive is a word at all, it means to do something to prevent an occurance before it happens.” > > Her: “Well we’re preventing it from happening again.” > > Me: “I have to go pretend to care about something else now.” \*\* ROFL! That is pure Dilbert. My personal hatred is reserved for “proven”. ---
**Author:** ![Suspenderzzz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@Suspenderzzz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suspenderzzz)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-corporate-bullshit-words-and-phrases-do-you-hate/141832/85 "2002-12-12T17:11:17Z")
“To Remain Calm. To know how to Prioritize in a Crisis” Aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhh!!! (Shoot me.) ---
**Author:** ![Suspenderzzz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@Suspenderzzz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suspenderzzz)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-corporate-bullshit-words-and-phrases-do-you-hate/141832/86 "2002-12-12T17:15:24Z")
“Hmmmmm…I’ll tell you what. I’ll tell you who you can call/ask…” (when approached by someone with a question) Translation: “I will now pass the buck, making you do all the work yourself, while making it appear in your mind that I’m actually helping you, even though I’m not.” ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-corporate-bullshit-words-and-phrases-do-you-hate/141832/87 "2002-12-12T17:25:08Z")
I can’t believe the thread has made it this far without the phrase “where the rubber meets the road” being mentioned. This is the phrase that is currently rolling unchecked through our upper management lexicon. This place has so much rubber meeting the road, you’d think I was part of a porn star/asphalt paver convention. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Carnage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/max_carnage/32/12775_2.png) [@Max\_Carnage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Carnage)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-corporate-bullshit-words-and-phrases-do-you-hate/141832/88 "2002-12-12T20:21:17Z")
**Opportunity** As in, we had a rough year and now we’ve got an opportunity for progress. Or as I may or may not have once been told in a one-on-one (Hey, there’s another!) with my manager: “I see you have an opportunity for improvement.” To which I told her, 'Please don’t ever try to put a positive spin on things like that. Tell me I screwed up and here’s what we’re going to do to fix it." I think she appreciated my candor, because they gave me a box with _built-in handles_ when I was laid off shortly after. Jealous, ain’t ya? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-corporate-bullshit-words-and-phrases-do-you-hate/141832/89 "2002-12-12T20:39:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DarrenS \* > \*\*Just thought of another one - “empowerment”. Yep, I feel empowered - to do what I’m told, if I want to keep my job. \*\* That was supposed to be mine dammit. Sure, more responsibility, no more money or resources. And “staying on task”…Read working harder. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Wrong\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b782af/32.png) [@The\_Wrong\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Wrong_Girl)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-corporate-bullshit-words-and-phrases-do-you-hate/141832/90 "2002-12-12T21:04:16Z")
I also can’t believe that I’m the first to submit this: Coopitition. I heard this at a branding meeting (heh) a few weeks ago. It’s supposed to be some sort of mix of cooperation and competition. Hmm…I could have sworn those two were opposites. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-corporate-bullshit-words-and-phrases-do-you-hate/141832/91 "2002-12-12T21:31:33Z")
> [@](#): > > **Coopitition** Oh. My. God. That is the worst ever. ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-corporate-bullshit-words-and-phrases-do-you-hate/141832/92 "2002-12-12T21:57:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Libertarian \* > \*\*Max wrote: > > Um, how about the term, “elsewhere”? As in, “Let’s discuss this elsewhere.” \*\* That’s a fine term. I’m not claiming that the phrase “let’s discuss this offline” is _necessary_ or that it has some great grammatical purity. I’m just saying that it’s a clearly defined word which actually, when used, tends to reduce the amount of BS everyone has to deal with, and is thus very different from words such as “paradigm” and “proactive”. (Also, “let’s discuss this elsewhere” has vaguely different implications, in that it implies “a different physical location”, when in fact “discussing it offline” might mean two poeple hang around after the meeting, in that very same room, and discuss the topic.) ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-corporate-bullshit-words-and-phrases-do-you-hate/141832/93 "2002-12-13T22:22:50Z")
Anything viewed from “40,000 feet”. Anything viewed at “down in the weeds” level. ---
**Author:** ![zwaldd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a9adbd/32.png) [@zwaldd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zwaldd)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-corporate-bullshit-words-and-phrases-do-you-hate/141832/94 "2002-12-13T22:41:06Z")
“Solutions” is my pet peeve. I always wonder if the guy using it has stopped to think how stupid it sounds. Actually, ‘solutions’ is very pre-bust. I haven’t heard that one thrown around as much since the ‘solution’ became ‘laying your ass off’. The worst is that I’ve found myself using some of these terms at home: ‘Pick up beer for the game…that’s your action item’. ---
**Author:** ![YellowTail](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/b5ac83/32.png) [@YellowTail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YellowTail)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-corporate-bullshit-words-and-phrases-do-you-hate/141832/95 "2002-12-13T23:37:45Z")
“World class” Please. ---
**Author:** ![eunoia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eunoia/32/97_2.png) [@eunoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eunoia)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-corporate-bullshit-words-and-phrases-do-you-hate/141832/96 "2002-12-13T23:47:04Z")
Having just completed my performance management process (evaluation) for 2002, I was twice encouraged to be more **proactive** with no other qualifiers. Proactive? Wasn’t that a buzzword back in the early nineties when I was pulling down twice what I earn now? Stifling a giggle, I suggested that I was concentrating my proactivities on potential non-zero sum paradigms. _Blank stare…_ Yessssssss. Also: **Skill set** = stuff you can do or make others believe you can do. ---
**Author:** ![eunoia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eunoia/32/97_2.png) [@eunoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eunoia)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-corporate-bullshit-words-and-phrases-do-you-hate/141832/97 "2002-12-13T23:58:27Z")
We need new [buzzwords](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=150249). ---
**Author:** ![sx633](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/22d042/32.png) [@sx633](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sx633)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2002, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-corporate-bullshit-words-and-phrases-do-you-hate/141832/98 "2002-12-14T00:01:27Z")
Our comapny has an outside vendor for the mailroom. They recently issued a memo with some changes in schedules, etc. They wrote: …“in order to streamline the mail sortation process”… ??? sortation ??? ---
**Author:** ![eunoia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eunoia/32/97_2.png) [@eunoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eunoia)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2002, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-corporate-bullshit-words-and-phrases-do-you-hate/141832/99 "2002-12-14T00:04:17Z")
Pardon my disjointed thoughts, but when I’m working late on Fridays, I bring beer. Where I work **think outside the box** has become a euphemism for oral sex. Try not to laugh next time you hear the phrase. ---
**Author:** ![Blackeyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f6c823/32.png) [@Blackeyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackeyes)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2002, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-corporate-bullshit-words-and-phrases-do-you-hate/141832/100 "2002-12-14T04:24:15Z")
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