You could develop and copyright a totally new way of doing calculations that finds and makes practical use of other dimensions in our world. This would lead to new inventions and save business hundreds of billions of dollars each year. Each time business used the CalH Muti-Dimensional Method you would receive a royalty. You quickly become the world’s first trillionaire then muti-trillionaire. Money is flowing in at a rate of billions each day. You appear in New Yorker articles, make appearance on PBS, CSPAN, and even Larry King. You discuss your plans to distribute your money for good causes, which of course, is not your plan at all. At this point the furtive corruption of wealth and power has gone to your head. So you create a private army, attack a third world nation and set up shop. Three months later, you’re killed in a “bloody coup” – because this is what happens in third world countries. At the reading of your ‘last will’ the mysterious and handsome Tigers2B1 is named as your sole hire, even though we two are not related nor have we ever met. With appropriate inducements offered out of the inheritance, no questions are asked. I then see that your remains are deposited in an unmarked grave in rural Mississippi. I place a single red rose in that grave each year, on your birthday.
Yeah, like people who choose to be infected with herpes.
I hate to be the one to break it to ya u, but those are really men.
Same thing we do every night, Pinky…
[voice from beyond the grave]
I have something to tell you Tigers… I AM YOUR FATHER!!! MWA-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH…
MWAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH…
good times… good times…
[/voice from beyond the grave]
What??? you thought you were that good looking for nothing??? Have you seen the guy they call your “real” dad???
Tell me again how Archimedes died. I read about it once and found it rather amusing, and now I’ve forgotten about it.
And as long as we’re talking about great mathmeticians who lived less-than-great lives, let’s not forget John Forbes Nash.
Archimedes is reported to have kept the Romans away from Syracuse for ages. A lot of what is said about him is possibly made up, but it’s cool, so I’ll repeat it: according to legend, he defended Syracuse with giant hands that would reach over Syracuse’s walls, grab a Roman ship and turn it upside down, he also invented giant death mirrors that caught the suns rays, concentrated them and aimed them at the rigging of Roman ships, causing havoc.
Eventually Syracuse was taken, and the Romans realised that Archmedes would be useful, so all the soldiers were ordered to capture Archimedes alive. Two Roman soldiers burst into Archimedes home, where he was ordered to surrender. He pleaded to be allowed more time to finish an interesting problem he was working on. The soldiers got pissed off and killed him, probably to the great annoyance of their superiors.
I’m pretty sure that tale is just a work of fiction, however. You can read more about him here: http://www.mcs.drexel.edu/~crorres/Archimedes/contents.html
If ya really want to be cool, it can’t hurt if you were the richest, most powerful man in the universe. So all you have to do , since you’re super-math man, is invent a way to calculate prime numbers and factor them.
All the security/encryption methods used to protect computer data are based on factors of prime numbers, which is a really difficult math problem. You solve that, and you can break into every data base, every bank account and every spy agency in the world.
Now that ought to get you more than 22 hot babes.
I’m still working on a way to calculate the primes, but after several years of grueling research, I do have a way to factor them, and quickly.
Realistically. . .
You could get a professorship at any college in the world which would probably meet a lot of your demands – nice office, nice computer, easy work load, pay to attend conferences, etc.
They’d probably even give you a lot of vacation.
But you know what you’d do. . .spend incredible amounts of time writing papers and doing research and giving talks and collaborating with people who are working out the details for you.
You might get thin, and pale, and wear glasses and go to your apartment at the end of the day to no dog, no wife and no real ability to enjoy TV or movies or books or even food.
If you’re lucky, you’ll enjoy alcohol but you’ll never drink too many and you’ll tell bad jokes and talk about yourself too much.
You’ll probably have a nervous tick, too.
Since I wrote that thread, the bounds on Graham’s number have been tightened a bit. We now know that it’s at least 11.
Aw, hell, I can factor a prime number just as fast as you can (maybe a few tenths of a second slower i f I’m sleepy), and I haven’t done much of any resarch!:D;)
Believe it or not, some Catholic priests and Buddhist monks choose to be virgins. Too.
He was made director of the Mint, or some such thing, and actually had the income and position, if not the personality, to attract some women. His religious beliefs got in the way.
It was a joke. Say it with me. J-O-K-E.
Throw away my calculator, to start.
Crack all sorts of codes and probably get accosted by the government/offered a job as a result?
Whatever you do, I sincerely hope you’d use your powers for good.
bamf
My goodness, I did not understand a single idea put forward in that thread, try as I might.