# What could you do with a third arm? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 29, 2000, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-could-you-do-with-a-third-arm/34964 "2000-09-29T02:29:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Opengrave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/919ad9/32.png) [@Opengrave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Opengrave)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2000, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-could-you-do-with-a-third-arm/34964/41 "2000-10-31T19:07:26Z")
Running a 32 channel sound board would be WAY easier with 3 arms/hands. Each of my hands can span about 8 channels now, with 3 I could almost cover the whole board all at once. Of course you still need about 6 more arms to queue the tapes, change the effects settings, EQ the channels, adjust the lights, smack the LV for turning his mic off instead of muting it, etc… ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2000, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-could-you-do-with-a-third-arm/34964/42 "2000-11-01T00:04:15Z")
Three things. One bourbon. One scotch. One beer. :):):):):):):)🙂 ---
**Author:** ![awldune](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@awldune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/awldune)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2000, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-could-you-do-with-a-third-arm/34964/43 "2000-11-01T00:11:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TheNerd \* > \*\*On the one hand, I could aspire to be tridexterous. > > On the other hand, I’d be asymmetric, which is generally not attractive. > > On the Gripping hand, this is fun to consider. 🙂 \*\* This is like the only possible situation in which one could make that reference! I wonder how many people get it, too… ---
**Author:** ![Welfy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e56c9b/32.png) [@Welfy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Welfy)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2000, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-could-you-do-with-a-third-arm/34964/44 "2000-11-01T00:17:47Z")
I could hold more food! (I’m the type that holds food in both hands when eating, I’m such a pig) Ah, the many times I’ve heard my SO say “If I only had three hands for you, Welfy” ;^) Um…anyway… It would be nice for wrapping presents and writing in Psychology class when the teacher is giving so many notes. ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2000, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-could-you-do-with-a-third-arm/34964/45 "2000-11-01T00:37:48Z")
Masturbatory orgies. * * * Yer pal, [Satan](http://www.members.tripod.com/jmspoofe/sdmb/satan.jpg) \*TIME ELAPSED SINCE I QUIT SMOKING: Six months, three weeks, one day, 22 hours, 39 minutes and 2 seconds. 8237 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,029.72. Extra time with Drain Bead: 4 weeks, 14 hours, 25 minutes. **David B used me as a cite!** \* ---
**Author:** ![blastfurnace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5e9695/32.png) [@blastfurnace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blastfurnace)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2000, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-could-you-do-with-a-third-arm/34964/46 "2000-11-01T04:39:46Z")
Oooh, Oooh…I know…I know… Wait. THAT would require FOUR arms AND a cow. Nevermind (sulking off wishing for either 2 more arms or a cow, preferably both.) ---
**Author:** ![Gollum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/85f322/32.png) [@Gollum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gollum)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2000, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-could-you-do-with-a-third-arm/34964/47 "2000-11-01T05:30:43Z")
Could truly master tree climbing. Prehensile tail is good for that too. I think the arm would have to come out of your chest, and have numerous ball socket joints for true reach and manouverability. Possibly a tentacle would be good. mmmmm … suction. or out of the top of the head, just to make everyone a bit more ridiculous. I dont think i could control three arms at once. I have enough trouble with two. Could pose as Richard Nixon AND Napolean at the same time. Facial expression would be a killer though ---
**Author:** ![tevya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4491bb/32.png) [@tevya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tevya)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2000, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-could-you-do-with-a-third-arm/34964/48 "2000-11-01T14:18:59Z")
I could become a drummer for a heavy metal band. I’d be surrounded by more drums, cymbals, and doo-dads than Neil Pert. And I’d have one of those drum risers that was really a cage that lifted in to the air. I’d play really long, loud, busy drum solos and people would worship me. I would be a heavy metal drum goddess. I could finally juggle. ---
**Author:** ![tntyz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8e7dd6/32.png) [@tntyz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tntyz)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2000, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-could-you-do-with-a-third-arm/34964/49 "2000-11-01T18:27:56Z")
Wasn’t there an old Twilight Zone episode where the three-armed alien sits in a diner for the night, bragging about how they’re going to take over the Earth? The climax of the show is the cook revealing his third eye and suggesting that his race has stolen the march? I guess that’s clear evidence that three eyes is better than three arms any day! ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2000, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-could-you-do-with-a-third-arm/34964/50 "2000-11-01T19:03:59Z")
if i had 4 arms i could play against myself on those 2 player PlayStation games like Tekken. i could wield 2 Super Soakers at once, i could cook twice as much food at a time (and eat twice as much and get twice as stuffed), i could read a programmer’s reference with one pair and type with the other, i could break twice as many things when frustrated. ---
**Author:** ![threetrueoutcomes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b77776/32.png) [@threetrueoutcomes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/threetrueoutcomes)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2000, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-could-you-do-with-a-third-arm/34964/51 "2000-11-01T19:48:45Z")
Only one extra arm is a tease. If I had a fourth arm, I could play one of those guitars, you know, that are like, double. Both of them at the same time. Me’n teyva could start a band-- all the wank of Iron Maiden and Rush, with the sideshowish limb count of Def Leppard. ---
**Author:** ![Eireson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7bcc69/32.png) [@Eireson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eireson)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2000, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-could-you-do-with-a-third-arm/34964/52 "2000-11-02T01:14:30Z")
I would rather have a prehensile penis… Now that would be useful. With four arms, I could play bass and sixstring at the same time if, in fact I could play either, which I can’t The trouble with three arms would be placement. The most useful place would be just above the navel, I think. You wouldn’t have to bend to reach your lower extremities and masturbation would certaily be enhanced. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2000, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-could-you-do-with-a-third-arm/34964/53 "2000-11-02T02:42:48Z")
tntyz wrote: > [@](#): > > Wasn’t there an old Twilight Zone episode where the three-armed alien sits in a diner for the night, bragging about how they’re going to take over the Earth? The climax of the show is the cook revealing his third eye and suggesting that his race has stolen the march? Yep. The three-armed alien was from Mars, and the three-eyed alien, whose people had beaten Mars to the punch, was from Venus. Just goes to show you what _they_ know. Venus is incapable of supporting life as we know it. Hah. ---
**Author:** ![BPBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/59ef9b/32.png) [@BPBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BPBob)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2000, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-could-you-do-with-a-third-arm/34964/54 "2000-11-02T16:18:10Z")
Actually, I sawed off the third one so I could square dance with the cute redhead in sixth grade - it’s still downstairs in the freezer! :rolleyes: Juggling would certainly be more interesting, but the prehensile penis beats all other suggestions (pun intended). ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Dave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/46a35a/32.png) [@Great\_Dave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Dave)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2000, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-could-you-do-with-a-third-arm/34964/55 "2000-11-02T19:09:57Z")
Extra arms are nice, but I’m voting for extra breasts! ---
**Author:** ![aerodave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f08c70/32.png) [@aerodave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aerodave)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2000, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-could-you-do-with-a-third-arm/34964/56 "2000-11-03T03:17:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BigDaddyD \* > \*\*Extra arms are nice, but I’m voting for extra breasts! \*\* But if you were faced with extra breasts, you would need some extra limbs to manage them all. As it is, it’s hard enough to devote ample attention to two at once. Then again, i guess that reveals what I’d do with extra arms: wait patiently for a girl with some extra breasts. Or, with a normal female, be able to work with both at once and leave the other hand for…well, you know. In the words of the immortal Homer J. Simpson, “mmmm…booooobies” ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2000, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-could-you-do-with-a-third-arm/34964/57 "2000-11-03T03:40:37Z")
An extra arm or two would be very nice! I could scratch my balls, my back and my head all at the same time!!! Extra boobies would be good too, of course (Fellas, trust me on this: when playing with SO’s boobies, and you push them together to try to suck both at the same time, and she asks you what you are doing… never say “Trying to make one good one!”) Back to three arms, though… I could play pinched harmonics at tapping at the same time on my guitar… I could play an entirely acoustic version on Kashmir!!! Woo Hoo!! ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2000, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-could-you-do-with-a-third-arm/34964/58 "2000-11-03T17:57:33Z")
for you Niven freaks out there, do you think it would be better to have an actual 3rd arm like a Motie, or a psychic one like Gil Anderson (i think that’s his name) the UN detective? i vote for a psychic arm, cause you can reach through glass and video screens and crap like that. then again, he couldn’t lift anything heavier than a cigarette… ---
**Author:** ![\_shaolin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/9de053/32.png) [@\_shaolin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_shaolin)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2001, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-could-you-do-with-a-third-arm/34964/59 "2001-02-08T17:13:29Z")
I could win the DMC World Mixing Championships. Baddest Mutha\*\*\*\*\*\* on Two Turntables? - With three arms? Damn right [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-could-you-do-with-a-third-arm/34964.md?page=2)