# What counts as 'flat-chested'? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 25, 2005, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-counts-as-flat-chested/318591 "2005-08-25T17:49:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2005, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-counts-as-flat-chested/318591/41 "2005-08-26T00:26:46Z")
> [@bouv](#): > > Oh, and the husband complains she is flat chested and wants her to get it? FUCK HIM! Better yet: DON’T. He sounds like a classic example of a guy who doesn’t deserve to Get Any. > [@SusanStoHelit](#): > > it is a major surgery, and some common complications are loss of sensation in the nipples or hardening of the breasts. Ewww. ☹ Who’d want that? > [@Snowboarder Bo](#): > > I like boobies. As long as they’re attached to a woman, they’re a-ok with me. Yeah, but fake boobies attached to a real woman are still fake boobies. ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2005, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-counts-as-flat-chested/318591/42 "2005-08-26T00:56:51Z")
I’ll agree with Diosa and say that it depends on the size of the woman. In _general_, though, I’d say flat chested would be AA or AAA. Me? The smallest I’ve been after puberty was a 34F (at 155 lbs). Currently I should be wearing a 38G or so, but I’m making do with 38DDD bras. I like my shape, but I’d love being able to buy more bras (and not having to go to specialty stores). ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2005, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-counts-as-flat-chested/318591/43 "2005-08-26T01:53:24Z")
> [@Johnny L.A.](#): > > Anyway, I’m more likely to say ‘Look at the brains on _her!_’ than I am to say, ‘Look at those knockers!’ I’d rather get _both_ reactions … though I prefer “What knockers!” 😉 > [@pinkfreud](#): > > I didn’t mean to imply that my friend’s husband is urging her to get implants. The idea of having her breasts surgically enlarged was my friend’s idea, not her husband’s. The husband does make a lot of remarks about the disappointing size of her chest, though. He even does this in the presence of other people. I’m sure he views it as friendly joking. What a jerk. Do the comments seriously bother your friend? I mean, I used to tease my best friend all the time about his “receding hairline” – even in front of other people – and I know I don’t fit any of the names that this woman’s husband has been called. Ouch. And it was _totally_ Steve’s idea to get a hair transplant (really). But if the jokes had actually hurt him of course I wouldn’t have made them, so it all depends on how your friend feels about the comments her husband makes – and, if they bother her, whether she’s told him so. I think there’s a lot of knee-jerk reaction regarding this guy; some folks are getting a _little_ carried away. > [@Inigo Montoya](#): > > the wimmin I find most attractive tend to be more sensibly endowed anyway. “Sensibly?” :dubious: You _do_ know that those of us with natural boobs have very little say in how big they are, right? > [@zweisamkeit](#): > > I’ll agree with Diosa and say that it depends on the size of the woman. Thirded. My natural Ds are kinda fat because _I’m_ kinda fat, so they don’t look nearly as good “unfettered” as I imagine my skinny co-worker’s natural Ds would (not that I’ve spent any time imagining her without clothing … oh, never mind). ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2005, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-counts-as-flat-chested/318591/44 "2005-08-26T02:22:21Z")
> [@Qadgop the Mercotan](#): > > Basically there’s no “one right answer” to this question. But it can be a good choice for a lot of people. I’m reminded of The Kids In The Hall movie, _Brain Candy_ where a miracle cure for depression, intended for people who were so down they “can’t get off the floor” becomes a major fashion statement and lifestyle enhancement despite some “acceptable losses” in the way of severe adverse side effects. Doc, your patient was arguably misshapen–essentially born with a couple pieces all but missing. OP’s buddy is a B cup. She’s got some gear that clearly distinguishes her from (most) guys. > [@Misnomer](#): > > “Sensibly?” You do know that those of us with natural boobs have very little say in how big they are, right? OK. No graceful way out of this one. Sensible is just a matter of opinion. Wish my own john thomas had just a little less mass sometimes–makes my back ache sometimes and … no, really! ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2005, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-counts-as-flat-chested/318591/45 "2005-08-26T02:37:58Z")
> [@Misnomer](#): > > Do the comments seriously bother your friend? Well, she is considering spending half a year’s salary and undergoing painful, potentially disfiguring surgery in order to remedy the “problem.” I’d say she’s seriously bothered. But I really don’t think her husband is deliberately saying things in order to hurt her. He’s just one of those “everything is about me” people. Not a monster. Just a minor-league selfish jackass. I’m glad I didn’t marry one of those. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2005, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-counts-as-flat-chested/318591/46 "2005-08-26T02:45:08Z")
> [@pinkfreud](#): > > A young friend of mine is thinking about getting breast implants because her husband complains that she is flat-chested. Did he not notice this when he proposed to her? ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2005, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-counts-as-flat-chested/318591/47 "2005-08-26T03:05:04Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#): > > OK. No graceful way out of this one. Sensible is just a matter of opinion. Meh, I was mostly kidding. Very nearly threw a " 😉 " in for good measure, but then decided to play it stern. I don’t get to be stern very often. You’re one of my favorite Dopers, no matter _what_ you think of my boobs. 🙂 > [@pinkfreud](#): > > Well, she is considering spending half a year’s salary and undergoing painful, potentially disfiguring surgery in order to remedy the “problem.” I’d say she’s seriously bothered. Oy. You said yourself that the surgery was her idea, so obviously the “problem” is as much in her head as in her husband’s comments. How is her potential surgery his fault? Anyway, her lack of self-esteem isn’t what I was asking about: I meant do his comments hurt her feelings. You said that he makes comments about her small breasts even in front of other people, and you said it like it made him evil, but I’m just saying that sometimes things that seem a little mean to “outsiders” might not actually be so. (And my friend spent a lot of money on a painful, potentially disfiguring procedure that had _nothing_ to do with how often I – or his wife – teased him about being bald.) If she gets hurt but doesn’t say anything, she’s as much of a putz as him. Of the people who’ve expressed an opinion about this chick’s husband, are **js\_africanus** and I really the only ones who aren’t ready to tar and feather him? ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2005, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-counts-as-flat-chested/318591/48 "2005-08-26T03:34:04Z")
I cried because I had no bra. Then I met someone who had no boobs. Hummmm… needs work. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2005, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-counts-as-flat-chested/318591/49 "2005-08-26T03:38:12Z")
> [@pinkfreud](#): > > So, y’all, what is considered an adequate amount of chestworks these days? Honestly, an ‘A’ cup is venturing into flat-chested territory. I would not consider a 34B flat-chested by any means. And fuck her husband. Breasts of all sizes are beautiful. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2005, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-counts-as-flat-chested/318591/50 "2005-08-26T04:33:20Z")
If she can fill a pair of martini glasses, she is not flat-chested. Flat is when you can see a rib on either side of the nipple. ---
**Author:** ![FilmGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@FilmGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FilmGeek)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2005, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-counts-as-flat-chested/318591/51 "2005-08-26T04:54:44Z")
[Tilda Swinton](http://www.imdb.com/gallery/granitz/3131/Events/3131/TildaSwint_Vespa_5036943_400.jpg?path=pgallery&path_key=Swinton,%20Tilda) is flat chested. [Gwen Stefani](http://www.celebrity-exchange.com/celebs/photos60/gwen-stefani-02.jpg) is bordering on flat chested. [Drew Barrymore](http://vnexpress.net/Vietnam/Van-hoa/San-khau-Dien-anh/2003/06/3B9C8A8E/10_drew.jpg) has, ahem, bodacious tatas. ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2005, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-counts-as-flat-chested/318591/52 "2005-08-26T08:01:09Z")
[Portia de Rossi](http://www.imdb.com/gallery/granitz/0796-glo/derossip.ors?path=pgallery&path_key=de%20Rossi,%20Portia&seq=39) is also very nearly flat-chested, but is one of the sexiest women on the planet. I’m married and straight, but I’d do her in a heartbeat. ---
**Author:** ![Sarah\_Woodruff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df788c/32.png) [@Sarah\_Woodruff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarah_Woodruff)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2005, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-counts-as-flat-chested/318591/53 "2005-08-26T08:18:00Z")
What **Diosa Bellissima** said. It’s not the cup size so much as the chest band size (which indicates how big the woman is frame-wise) that will determine how “stacked” she appears. I have a colleague who is about 5’10" and about 100 kgs. She is a D-cup. I’m a C-cup. Her boobs are bigger, but mine _appear_ bigger because of the rest of me (5’5", 60-something kgs). If the lady is 34", she sounds pretty un-flat to me. The husband - meh, it’s been said already. remember folks - 1 kg = 2.2 lbs. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2005, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-counts-as-flat-chested/318591/54 "2005-08-26T12:37:31Z")
> [@](#): > > The husband - meh, it’s been said already Can’t be said enough though. What an ass. Let’s chip in and get him a [Dick stretcher](http://penis-extenders.bestbuyoffer.info/Dickstretcher.htm). ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2005, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-counts-as-flat-chested/318591/55 "2005-08-26T12:56:47Z")
> [@AskNott](#): > > If she can fill a pair of martini glasses, she is not flat-chested. Flat is when you can see a rib on either side of the nipple. There’s an image I didn’t need. Somewhere out in internetland is a website dedicated to nude pictures of women suffering from anorexia. ---
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2005, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-counts-as-flat-chested/318591/56 "2005-08-26T13:05:15Z")
> [@Shayna](#): > > [Portia de Rossi](http://www.imdb.com/gallery/granitz/0796-glo/derossip.ors?path=pgallery&path_key=de%20Rossi,%20Portia&seq=39) is also very nearly flat-chested, but is one of the sexiest women on the planet. I’m married and straight, but I’d do her in a heartbeat. Portia’s not straight, so you may have a shot. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2005, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-counts-as-flat-chested/318591/57 "2005-08-26T13:14:33Z")
> [@Shayna](#): > > Abiding by the “2 click rule” (actually, it takes 3), there are some (non-sexual, but **probably not work safe** ) images [on this site](http://www.afraidtoask.com/breast/breastmeasuringcup.html) of varying breast sizes and shapes. B looks perfect to me. A was fine, C was better, but B was the winner. AA and AAA admittedly, looked to me like little man-boobs…so not a real good image. But by the time I’d know a girl well enough to want to get her shirt off of her, AA or AAA be it, they’re just the size for me. D and above just look droopy to me–and I would fear how low they’re going to end up by the time we’re in our 60s. “Dear, you’re standing on your booby again.” But as said above, by the time I want to get her shirt off, s’all good. ---
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2005, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-counts-as-flat-chested/318591/58 "2005-08-26T14:27:13Z")
> [@pinkfreud](#): > > **Gwen Stefani** , who isn’t exactly overstuffed in the northern regions. That was then, this is [now](http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/archives/004978.html). (Gwen’s had a boob job!) P.S. For another “before” piccie of Gwen, see \*\*FilmGeek’s \*\* link in post #51. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2005, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-counts-as-flat-chested/318591/59 "2005-08-26T15:13:31Z")
> [@Shayna](#): > > Abiding by the “2 click rule” (actually, it takes 3), there are some (non-sexual, but **probably not work safe** ) images [on this site](http://www.afraidtoask.com/breast/breastmeasuringcup.html) of varying breast sizes and shapes. Breasts in the “B” range are far from “flat.” And per another site, to which I will not link because there isn’t a “safe” direct link (Google 34B breast size [without quotation marks] and follow the 2nd link if you want to find it… The second site mentioned, the one that is not linked, has a warning about the first site (which is linked on that site). It says that the linked site has a ‘trojan’. Norton did not catch it when the page loaded, but it did find spyware when the scheduled virus check was run this morning. ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2005, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-counts-as-flat-chested/318591/60 "2005-08-26T19:22:48Z")
> [@Spiff](#): > > That was then, this is [now](http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/archives/004978.html). > > (Gwen’s had a boob job!) How sad. I didn’t know about this. Gwen was, IMHO, totally gorgeous in her original configuration, and was a great example of how you don’t need to be hefty-chesty to be a hot mama. ☹ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-counts-as-flat-chested/318591.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-counts-as-flat-chested/318591.md?page=4)