# What Crawled Up Eutychus's Ass? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 4, 2001, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-crawled-up-eutychuss-ass/91484 "2001-11-04T23:26:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-crawled-up-eutychuss-ass/91484/21 "2001-11-05T00:42:05Z")
I don’t think I’ve ever been attacked in a Pit thread before. Memory escapes me in these dark, dying days. Maybe that means I’m not doing my job correctly, I dunno. But I’m as in the dark as anyone else about what exactly the OP may be referring to, so let me suggest just a few things that may be clogging my colon at the present time. 1 : Maybe it’s the fact that I have a job that I’m good at and pays pretty well, but which I’m beginning to feel bored and stagnated at and am beginning to get the feeling that I’ve gone as far in the company that I’m currently with as I’m ever going to. 2 : Maybe it’s the fact that I have one autistic son who I love dearly but whose OCD is at times impossible to deal with; who screams so loudy when he doesn’t get his way at times that I sometimes fear that the next door neighbours are going to call the cops and report us for child abuse and the only thing that stops them is that the people across the street have fights that are even louder than that. 3 : Maybe it’s the fact that I have another autistic son who’s on a feeding tube and has to be hooked up to machinery four times a day just to get proper nutrition. And who’s preferred way of expressing disaproval with something, or even just having fun, is to throw whatever he can find that’s not nailed down in any direction it will go. 4 : Maybe it’s that between the two of them I hardly have a minute’s peace for myself and I still have another daughter who is just on the cusp of womanhood and needs a ton of attention herself right that I’m just too tired at times to give properly. 5 : Maybe it’s that in the middle of all this I still find time to put Teemings together for everyone’s entertainment and reading pleasure for which I get almost zero feedback. 6 : Maybe it’s because I get almost zero personal e-mail and what e-mail I do get is asking me to take care of board problems unless I whine about never getting any personal mail and feeling completely out of it at which time I get a few bones thrown under my table. 7 : Maybe it’s because I have a wife who’s suddenly revealed to me that she’s pretty much a lesbian and knows now that she probably has been throughout the marriage, so any sex we have these days is rare, and at best emotionless. And maybe it’s because even then we still stay together because we feel that the extreme problems of our kids have to superceed our own. 8 : Maybe it’s because on top of that I’m apparently so sexually unattractive that ladies very rarely take a second look at me in person. 9 : Maybe it’s because of all that I rarely get the chance to go out anywhere and probably will never get the chance to attend a dopefest although I do get the live vicariously through reading what a wonderful time everybody else had. 10 : Maybe it’s because the damn “e” key on this damn $10 keyboard doesn’t work correctly and I keep having to wham on the thing to make it work. 11 : Or maybe, as I suspect, it’s because I shut down the threads about SqrlCub’s little stunt because the matter is being dealt with and as much as everyone wanted to vent their bile, I saw no reason to turn the BBQ Pit into a lynch mob. If that is indeed that case and the OP is not now trying to back out of it then I don’t need any fucking snot-nosed knock-kneed four-eyed dipwad cockflanger asshole 50-post-count dry-heaving vomitous-pile-of-turkey-dung wretched-bilious-pile-of-crap Richard-Marx-listening flop-jawed gerbiling JERK telling me how to do my job and the only thing that keeps me from going completely ballistic on your soggy-bottom ass is that I’m listening to _Molly_ by Mike Oldfield right now which always tends to calm me down. Thank you. [Edited by Eutychus55 on 11-04-2001 at 06:52 PM] ---
**Author:** ![Billy\_Rubin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billy_rubin/32/3622_2.png) [@Billy\_Rubin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billy_Rubin)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-crawled-up-eutychuss-ass/91484/22 "2001-11-05T00:44:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\*fucking snot-nosed knock-kneed four-eyed dipwad cockflanger asshole 50-post-count dry-heaving vomitous-pile-of-turkey-dung wretched-bilious-pile-of-crap Richard-Marx-listening flop-jawed gerbiling JERK \*\* I love you, man. Billy Rubin. ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-crawled-up-eutychuss-ass/91484/23 "2001-11-05T00:49:37Z")
Drill 'em a new one, Euty. Tell 'em how you _really_ feel. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kamandi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5daacb/32.png) [@Kamandi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamandi)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-crawled-up-eutychuss-ass/91484/24 "2001-11-05T00:52:56Z")
Damnit, that was **great!** ---
**Author:** ![John487](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@John487](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John487)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-crawled-up-eutychuss-ass/91484/25 "2001-11-05T00:54:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eutychus55 \* > \*\*I don’t think I’ve ever been attacked in a Pit thread before. Memory escapes me in these dark, dying days. Maybe that means I’m not doing my job correctly, I dunno. But I’m as in the dark as anyone else about what exactly the OP may be referring to, so let me suggest just a few things that may be clogging my colon at the present time. > > 1 : Maybe it’s the fact that I have a job that I’m good at and pays pretty well, but which I’m beginning to feel bored and stagnated at and am beginning to get the feeling that I’ve gone as far in the company that I’m currently with as I’m ever going to. > > 2 : Maybe it’s the fact that I have one autistic son who I love dearly but whose OCD is at times impossible to deal with; who screams so loudy when he doesn’t get his way at times that I sometimes fear that the next door neighbours are going to call the cops and report us for child abuse and the only thing that stops them is that the people across the street have fights that are even louder than that. > > 3 : Maybe it’s the fact that I have another autistic son who’s on a feeding tube and has to be hooked up to machinery four times a day just to get proper nutrition. And who’s preferred way of expressing disaproval with something, or even just having fun, is to throw whatever he can find that’s not nailed down in any direction it will go. > > 4 : Maybe it’s that between the two of them I hardly have a minute’s peace for myself and I still have another daughter who is just on the cusp of womanhood and needs a ton of attention herself right that I’m just too tired at times to give properly. > > 5 : Maybe it’s that in the middle of all this I still find time to put Teemings together for everyone’s entertainment and reading pleasure for which I get almost zero feedback. > > 6 : Maybe it’s because I get almost zero personal e-mail and what e-mail I do get is asking me to take care of board problems unless I whine about never getting any personal mail and feeling completely out of it at which time I get a few bones thrown under my table. > > 7 : Maybe it’s because I have a wife who’s suddenly revealed to me that she’s pretty much a lesbian and knows now that she probably has been throughout the marriage, so any sex we have these days is rare, and at best emotionless. And maybe it’s because even then we still stay together because we feel that the extreme problems of our kids have to superceed our own. > > 8 : Maybe it’s because on top of that I’m apparently so sexually unattractive that ladies very rarely take a second look at me in person. > > 9 : Maybe it’s because of all that I rarely get the chance to go out anywhere and probably will never get the chance to attend a dopefest although I do get the live vicariously through reading what a wonderful time everybody else had. > > 10 : Maybe it’s because the damn “e” key on this damn $10 keyboard doesn’t work correctly and I keep having to wham on the thing to make it work. > > 11 : Or maybe, as I suspect, it’s because I shut down the threads about SqrlCub’s little stunt because the matter is being dealt with and as much as everyone wanted to vent their bile, I saw no reason to turn the BBQ Pit into a lynch mob. If that is indeed that case and the OP is not now trying to back out of it then I don’t need any fucking snot-nosed knock-kneed four-eyed dipwad cockflanger asshole 50-post-count dry-heaving vomitous-pile-of-turkey-dung wretched-bilious-pile-of-crap Richard-Marx-listening flop-jawed gerbiling JERK telling me how to do my job and the only thing that keeps me from going completely ballistic on your soggy-bottom ass is that I’m listening to _Molly_ by Mike Oldfield right now which always tends to calm me down. > > Thank you. > > [Edited by Eutychus55 on 11-04-2001 at 06:52 PM] \*\* where’s a violin when you need one? ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-crawled-up-eutychuss-ass/91484/26 "2001-11-05T00:57:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by John487 \* > \*\*where’s a violin when you need one? \*\* Right next to your quote button which you’ve obviously misused as well. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-crawled-up-eutychuss-ass/91484/27 "2001-11-05T01:00:28Z")
_{bows down in front of **Eutychus** }_ I am so not worthy. (Sadly, your eloquence was wasted on a troll. Fortunately, the rest of us got it. Cheers!) Esprix ---
**Author:** ![chique](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@chique](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chique)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-crawled-up-eutychuss-ass/91484/28 "2001-11-05T01:00:43Z")
And here, ladies and gentleman, we have Trollus limpus. Oop, never mind…there he goes. Asshole. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-crawled-up-eutychuss-ass/91484/29 "2001-11-05T01:00:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by John487 \* > \*\*where’s a violin when you need one? \*\* You know something, you brainless, dickless piece of shit? This man has more problems in his life right now than you or I or most people on this board will ever have in their entire lifetime. He doesn’t need you calling him out on some stupid issue that’s been dealt with already. Robin ---
**Author:** ![Slip\_Mahoney](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Slip\_Mahoney](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slip_Mahoney)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-crawled-up-eutychuss-ass/91484/30 "2001-11-05T01:01:16Z")
Hold on a sec, **Euty.** Maybe **John487** isn’t knock kneed. Everything else looks about right, though. [Edited by Eutychus55 on 11-04-2001 at 07:13 PM] ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-crawled-up-eutychuss-ass/91484/31 "2001-11-05T01:01:54Z")
Good God, I would have sworn that man’s reply was a suicide note. If there isn’t a “BANNED” under **John** ’s name by the time I post this, I will have no choice to conclude that **Eutychus** is a much, much better man than I. ---
**Author:** ![Billy\_Rubin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billy_rubin/32/3622_2.png) [@Billy\_Rubin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billy_Rubin)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-crawled-up-eutychuss-ass/91484/32 "2001-11-05T01:02:22Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by John487 \* \*\* > [@](#): > > where’s a violin when you need one? \*\* This is the sort of thing that makes me wish Euty was a small enough person to ban someone’s ass for being a dick, but fortunately, he’s not, he’s about the biggest-hearted human here. I hope the creator of the universe rewards you for your compassion by giving you similar problems of your own. Soon. b. ---
**Author:** ![Slip\_Mahoney](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Slip\_Mahoney](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slip_Mahoney)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-crawled-up-eutychuss-ass/91484/33 "2001-11-05T01:04:49Z")
I bold the troll’s name and fuck up **Euty’s.** Somebody flame my ass. ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-crawled-up-eutychuss-ass/91484/34 "2001-11-05T01:06:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by John487 \* > where’s a violin when you need one? Good lord are you an asshole. Defend yourself if you feel you must ( you can start by explaining why you were moved to start this thread in the first place ). But try defending yourself with substance, instead of just making snarky little comments like some smartass teenager ( this is assuming you _aren’t_ some smartass teenager - if you are perhaps you can find somewhere else to play these games ). - Tamerlane ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@The\_Tim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tim)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-crawled-up-eutychuss-ass/91484/35 "2001-11-05T01:06:45Z")
Wow, dude, wow. I am in awe. Hail Eutychus55! Hail Eutychus55! Oh and John487 if the Teeming Millions have their way the violin will be firmly up your ass. ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-crawled-up-eutychuss-ass/91484/36 "2001-11-05T01:07:08Z")
**john487** I merely thought you a newbie asshole before, now I appreciate you as a **consumate newbie ass** [sup]TM[/sup]. :wally ---
**Author:** ![reprise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@reprise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/reprise)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-crawled-up-eutychuss-ass/91484/37 "2001-11-05T01:07:42Z")
I’m going to ignore the OP and pretty much comment on **Euty’s** post. **Euty** , while I’m a relative newbie on these boards, I’ve watched the mods and the admins say many, **many** , times that this is one of the best damn little communities in the world. I’ve watched you, in particular, post threads asking this community to be here for and support other members who you believe could use a little tolerance, understanding, or encouragement. So dammit **Euty** , will you please back up everything nice you’ve said about this community and let us be there for **you**? You’re right that unless people post saying they aren’t doing OK, we tend to assume that they’re fine. Now that we know that things aren’t fine in **Eutyville** , will you please give us all another chance to prove just what this community is really about? My best wishes are with you and yours right now **Euty**. If there’s anything at all I can do to brighten your day or share your load, my email addy is in my profile and I’m in #SD most of the time. Please take care. Merryl ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-crawled-up-eutychuss-ass/91484/38 "2001-11-05T01:10:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by John487 \* > where’s a violin when you need one? Check up your ass; that’s where everything else seems to be, mostly importantly your head. Sometimes, John487, it’s best not to be a jerk. Especially not to a moderator. I’m thinking of revising my definition of the height of stupidity. How tall are you again? ---
**Author:** ![John487](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@John487](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John487)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-crawled-up-eutychuss-ass/91484/39 "2001-11-05T01:12:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eutychus55 \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by John487 \* > > \*\*where’s a violin when you need one? \*\* > > Right next to your quote button which you’ve obviously misused as well. \*\* at least i don’t feel the need to drag my personal issues into a matter to win over the populace. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-crawled-up-eutychuss-ass/91484/40 "2001-11-05T01:17:39Z")
**Slip** … fixed it for you. **Reprise** … I will, and thanks. I also thought I should say that I just realized the irony of closing one thread because I didn’t want to see it develop into a lynch mob and yet leaving this one open. Heh … guess I musta changed my mind. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-crawled-up-eutychuss-ass/91484.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-crawled-up-eutychuss-ass/91484.md?page=3)