# What crimes can you consent to vs not consent to **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [April 9, 2021, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-crimes-can-you-consent-to-vs-not-consent-to/939641 "2021-04-09T01:49:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2021, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-crimes-can-you-consent-to-vs-not-consent-to/939641/41 "2021-04-09T21:54:17Z")
**Wesley** is not the kind of guy who would make light of rape or deliberately provoke. It was just bad phrasing. Strangulation is a felony in the state of Michigan - as long as it’s not consensual. So your breath play stuff is legal I guess. (But dangerous! It’s generally a bad idea to strangle anyone for any reason.) Unfortunately I read an article about how some guys were trying to pass DV strangulations off as a sex thing when they accidentally killed their victims, or that some men are surprising women with strangulation during sex - which is illegal. > **[The fatal, hateful rise of choking during sex](https://www.theguardian.com/society/2019/jul/25/fatal-hateful-rise-of-choking-during-sex)** > > Too many women’s lives are ending after what those accused of their deaths say were ‘sex games gone wrong’. But how did strangling ever become normalised? This subject interests me because the organization I work for has a START clinic which specializes in domestic violence strangulation. We get regular trainings. Uplifting stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2021, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-crimes-can-you-consent-to-vs-not-consent-to/939641/42 "2021-04-09T22:21:01Z")
> [@Northern\_Piper](#): > > No, he’s saying that there is something called “consensual rape.” > > > [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > > > Consensual rape is sex. and that was a grammatical screw up on my part and I admit that. it’s a loaded issue. my point fundamentally is that what separates many, but not all, criminal acts from normal, healthy, legal acts is whether all parties consent and enjoy the interaction. I should’ve left that out because it doesn’t really tie Into what I was inquiring about which is why in some areas consent still isn’t enough to make an act legal (battery, prostitution, drug use, bribery, murder, etc). bribery however is done against the consent of the general public, so even that crime is a crime of lack of consent, it’s just that the public are the victims. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2021, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-crimes-can-you-consent-to-vs-not-consent-to/939641/43 "2021-04-09T22:30:40Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > So prostitution and bribery are two examples of things becoming crimes when they’re done for money, even when all parties involved consent. The Onion did a good one about this. > **[Housewife Charged In Sex-For-Security Scam](https://www.theonion.com/housewife-charged-in-sex-for-security-scam-1819567920)** > > AKRON, OH—Area resident Helen Crandall, 44, was arrested by Akron police Sunday, charged with conducting an elaborate "sex for security" scam in which she allegedly defrauded husband Russell Crandall out of nearly $230,000 in cash, food, clothing and... ---
**Author:** ![Bootb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19b73/32.png) [@Bootb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bootb)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2021, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-crimes-can-you-consent-to-vs-not-consent-to/939641/44 "2021-04-11T21:47:00Z")
> [@BippityBoppityBoo](#): > > Equating consensual sex with rape is insensitive as well as salacious. I’ll give him a pass on the others since a discussion was spurred but that rape verbiage is out of bounds and a mature, learned debater would know that and abide by it. Accepting it creates more harm by desensitizing all of us to the very real horror that rape is. It is a cheap shot, chosen for shock value and titillation. The poster got his wish: I’m shocked and also horrified. I’m just no longer going to keep quiet about it. I’ll persist. > [@BippityBoppityBoo](#): > > Yes, you are. Rape has nothing to do with sex. Conversely, consensual sex has absolutely nothing to do with rape. Educate yourself, mature, listen. I’ll just leave this here. > **[The nature of women's rape fantasies: an analysis of prevalence, frequency,...](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19085605/)** > > This study evaluated the rape fantasies of female undergraduates (N = 355) using a fantasy checklist that reflected the legal definition of rape and a sexual fantasy log that included systematic prompts and self-ratings. Results indicated that 62% of... ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2021, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-crimes-can-you-consent-to-vs-not-consent-to/939641/45 "2021-04-11T22:22:07Z")
“Rape” fantasy has nothing to do with the crime of rape. Rape is the violation of a person’s bodily autonomy that priveleges the assailant’s sexual gratification over the experience of the victim. Fantasy is a realm where the fantasizer has 100% control and 100% bodily autonomy. It’s only nominally called “rape fantasy” because there’s not any great way of describing it, though the preferred nomenclature among women who do have these fantasies is “ravishment” because they recognize _it has nothing to do with rape._ ---
**Author:** ![BippityBoppityBoo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bippityboppityboo/32/5745_2.png) [@BippityBoppityBoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BippityBoppityBoo)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2021, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-crimes-can-you-consent-to-vs-not-consent-to/939641/46 "2021-04-11T23:19:58Z")
> [@Bootb](#): > > I’ll just leave this here Countering. Rape is all about pathological assertion of power or the victim. [From [Britannica.com](http://Britannica.com). The definition of rape.] …Rape was long considered to be caused by unbridled sexual desire, but it is now understood as a pathological assertion of power over a [victim](https://www.britannica.com/topic/victim)… …The psychological motivations of rapists are more complex than was formerly thought. They may include the desire to punish, to gain revenge, to cause pain, to prove sexual prowess, and to control through fear. The psychological reactions of victims of rape also vary but usually include feelings of shame, humiliation, confusion, fear, and rage. Victims often report a feeling of perpetual defilement, an inability to feel clean, an overwhelming sense of vulnerability, and a paralyzing feeling of lack of control over their lives. Many are haunted by fear of the place in which the crime occurred, or of being followed, or of all sexual relationships. Others experience long-term disruption of sleep or eating patterns or an inability to function at work. The duration of the psychological trauma varies from individual to individual; many feel the effects for years, even with considerable supportive therapy. In view of the great psychological harm it causes, many psychologists regard rape as a form of [torture](https://www.britannica.com/topic/torture)—a permanent mutilation of an individual’s life… ---
**Author:** ![Summerday](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/22d042/32.png) [@Summerday](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Summerday)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2021, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-crimes-can-you-consent-to-vs-not-consent-to/939641/47 "2021-04-12T00:11:24Z")
> [@BippityBoppityBoo](#): > > Equating consensual sex with rape is insensitive as well as salacious. I’ll give him a pass on the others since a discussion was spurred but that rape verbiage is out of bounds and a mature, learned debater would know that and abide by it. Accepting it creates more harm by desensitizing all of us to the very real horror that rape is. It is a cheap shot, chosen for shock value and titillation. The poster got his wish: I’m shocked and also horrified. I’m just no longer going to keep quiet about it. I’ll persist Thank you for posting this. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-crimes-can-you-consent-to-vs-not-consent-to/939641.md?page=2)