What dead person, not a relative, do you most mourn?

I have two, and vacillate between them based on the national climate. Jim Henson has already been mentioned, so I’ll bring up the other: Barbara Jordan. And the national climate at the moment sways the needle 'way over to Ms Jordan’s side.

I distinctly remember listening to her Statement on the Articles of Impeachment and marvelling at the power of voice (Time Magazine said that she “loomed and boomed like an elemental force”). And even now, I cannot listen to it without completely dry eyes.

Granted, even if she were still alive she wouldn’t be be directly involved; still, IMHO we desperately need her type.

Princes Diana. She was a fairytale princess when I was a little girl and her wedding is perhaps my earliest memory of a world event, the first memory I have of something happening outside my home and my family (I was five). She was beautiful, she married a prince and soon after she had two beautiful babies… so she should have lived happily ever after. Could anything have been further from the truth? The fact that her funeral was held on my twenty-first birthday only intensified my reaction.

When I heard the news about Princess Diana’s death, I was at my then-boyfriend’s house. The news itself was surreal enough, but it was even stranger to sit and watch it with his terminally ill mother, R. She had been allowed to visit home for the day, and was sitting in the lounge room in her wheelchair watching the news while waiting to be taken back to the hospital. R. died on October 10 1997, and every year on that anniversary I think of her. She would be the second person I would nominate for this thread. R was so special, she was unlike anyone else I’ve ever known. She had a joy for life that was undimmed despite so many of her dreams going unfulfilled. I remember her with fondness and wish it could have been different for her.

The third person would be the above-mentioned ex-boyfriend’s childhood friend, Brian. The first time I met him was at R.'s funeral. My ex hadn’t seen him in many years and hadn’t thought to let him know of his mother’s death so it was such a surprise when he showed up. We sat with him for most of the day and he was so kind, so decent, and I remember him looking at us with such sadness and sympathy. After that, I saw him a number of times because he was working at a local store while he put himself through university, but I never again spent any significant time with him. Brian was killed in a car accident in December 1998, aged 24. I hardly knew him, I only ever spent about five hours in his company and exchanged a few pleasantries when we passed each other in the street but a Christmas has never passed without me thinking of him. I can’t help it but whenever I think of him I contrast in my mind the kindness and sympathy he showed at R’s funeral with the knowledge that he had only 14 months more left to him, and it hurts me. I honestly don’t even know if Brian knew my full name let alone anything else about me, but I will never forget him and I will never understand why he was taken too soon. Brian apparently failed to give way and caused the accident that took his life. Whenever I hear the Erasure song Fingers and Thumbs, the line “a dumb mistake, too much to pay” makes me think of him.

An old friend of mine, who went by the handle of Reemul on these very boards, whom I mention here.

I still miss him, but I guess the reason I feel the loss so much is because of all the other folks I still know who miss him even more. That and the fact that I was always unsure how good a friend I was to him.

Jim Henson

I cried all day when he died. I had Sesame Street. The Muppet Show. My daughter had Fraggle Rock. When he died, I knew there would be nothing for my son, nothing new and wonderful.
I’m getting teary.

The Kennedys, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison and Princess Diana…those were all very sad days.

But John Lennon was the hardest for me to take. I actually saw John and Yoko walking through Central Park one day.

For me, John Lennon was a living legend, a great songwriter/musician and politically active. Not only was his death a tragedy, but there was and is a void that was created after his death. The music that was never created and the voice of reason in a political climate like we have now - we have been cheated out of the final chapter of his amazing life. He had just reached the stage of his life where he had become centered - and we will never know how much he could have influenced art and music and world politics.

Mine’s a little weird, because he’s not famous, nor did I ever meet him, but perhaps you’ll understand once I tell you about him.

His name was Paul “Chip” Stotler . He lived in a town right near mine, and on July 29, 2005, he was driving to work, sitting at an intersection in the town of Avon, about 20 minutes from here, which I have personally been past maybe 35 times myself, on a road that gets an incredible amount of traffic at rush hour because it is the quickest way to get from my corner of the state to the Hartford area, where a lot of people work, but comparatively few live. That morning, as he was sitting waiting for the light to change, a man in a dump truck came down Avon Mountain, on the road that crossed the one he was on. This dump truck was owned by a reprehensible man named David Wilcox, who had a long track record of shady dealings and cutting corners at the expense of safety on his trucks and personnel to save a buck. Mr. Wilcox had sent this truck out that morning with an inexperienced driver, having not allowed its brakes to be properly repaired in some time, to navigate the quite steep (at least for this area) Avon Mountain.
On this day, the luck of all concerned did not hold up, and those shoddy brakes failed, sending the dump truck careening into a commuter bus and several cars and causing a 20-vehicle pileup that cost four people their lives. Chip Stotler was one of those people.

Now, like I said, I never knew Chip Stotler, or met him in my life, but I work at the newspaper that covers the town he lived in, and so we naturally did stories about him, and sought to know more about him. If you read the linked article, you’ll see that he worked with kids for a living, that he was a character and a funny person, with five little daughters who are aged four to nine years old now. Pretty standard stuff, when you’re in the journalism field; you sort of have to suck it up a little when you work at a paper, or else you just spend all your life depressed.

But there was a picture that his family sent us, as they were talking to us for the stories, of Chip in his driveway, sitting on his motorcycle, with those five little girls all around him – one sitting in front of him, two behind, and two standing on the ground, all bright blond hair and big smiles…

And I thought of my daddy, who rode a motorcycle throughout my childhood, and how I loved to ride with him, loved to put on the helmet and hug him tight and go racing down the windy backroads, and the injustice hit me like a ton of bricks, because it could have been my daddy, or anyone’s daddy, at that light, going to work – but it was theirs.

So, I mourn for him, and I mourn for his five little girls, who’ll never again be able to hug their daddy tight and fly down the backroads with the pretty colors whooshing by, whose daddy won’t be at their high school graduation, or their wedding, or the birth of their first child, because of the horrible, venal selfishness of one terrible man, who thought it was more important to save money on brake parts than to send a safe truck onto the road.

We just had to run a big “one year later” spread on Saturday about the crash, so he has been on my mind lately.

Whereever you are now, Mr. Stotler, I hope you’re at rest. It’s too much to wish for rest in the hearts of your little girls, but I hope they all hold on to the memories they have of you, the older ones telling stories, perhaps, to the littlest ones who can’t remember well on their own, and they never forget how much you loved them. And I hope that maybe, someday, an uncle or family friend takes them out on a long and winding motorcycle ride, and looks to the sky and says, “This I do in memory of you.”

All I have are words, but they’ll have to be enough for now.

I was 12. Or rather I turned 12…right after. I got Double Fantasy for my birthday, December 13. But I was a Beatles fan since I was three. And yes now that I’m creeping up on 40 I realize how young he was…dammit. He would have made a good old man.

Joey, Johnny, and Dee Dee Ramone