# What did Bilbo Baggins do for a living? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 11, 2012, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426 "2012-04-11T01:59:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![yanceylebeef](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yanceylebeef/32/12290_2.png) [@yanceylebeef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yanceylebeef)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2012, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426/61 "2012-04-18T20:05:08Z")
One of the few Hobbits with the talent and wherewithal to do the job, he was the area’s foremost cleanser of lady parts. You may have heard of his Nom de Boulot “Douche Baggins” ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2012, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426/62 "2012-04-18T20:07:29Z")
> [@Airk](#): > > Am I the only one who found Bored of the Rings puerile and more or less the opposite of clever and entertaining? Yep. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![well\_he\_s\_back](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/3ab097/32.png) [@well\_he\_s\_back](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/well_he_s_back)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2012, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426/63 "2012-04-18T20:09:37Z")
Airk - the problem with “Bored of the Rings” is that it’s hilarious - but only in VERY small doses. read only a little bit at a sitting & it’s quite funny. ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2012, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426/64 "2012-04-18T21:07:30Z")
> [@Airk](#): > > Am I the only one who found Bored of the Rings puerile and more or less the opposite of clever and entertaining? I mean…puns? Really? That’s all you’ve got? Let me go fetch a copy of a Xanth book or something. 😛 It was written by, and aimed at, college kids. You are probably no long it’s target reader. It was pretty damn funny when I first read it 30 years ago… ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2012, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426/65 "2012-04-18T22:55:36Z")
The part I found oddly amusing is that the Ballhog wore a Villanova jersey. I was at Villanova at the time, and that’s the last thing anyone would have called our star Kerry Kittles, while the biggest ballhog in history, Me-Myself-and-Iverson, was then playing at our rival Georgetown. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2012, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426/66 "2012-04-18T23:55:41Z")
> [@Airk](#): > > Am I the only one who found Bored of the Rings puerile and more or less the opposite of clever and entertaining? I mean…puns? Really? That’s all you’ve got? Let me go fetch a copy of a Xanth book or something. 😛 I love puns, I enjoy parody, and I certainly don’t consider myself above juvenile humor, but I’m with you for the most part. _Bored_ has a few moments (such as the above-mentioned “pity”), but I’ve never liked most of it. It always seemed to be trying much too hard. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Scud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2012, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426/67 "2012-04-19T14:00:25Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > I mean before the events of _The Hobbit_. I assume afterwards he lived off the treasure he got from that. > > But he was fifty when he met Gandalf and the dwarves so what had he been doing for an income up to then? Was he a farmer? A land owner who lived off rents? Did he have inherited family money? I believe he was a [Senator](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theodore_G._Bilbo). Also, re: Bored of the Rings, the prologue (“Concerning Boggies”) is amazing but the rest is only sometimes funny. ---
**Author:** ![Airk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de053/32.png) [@Airk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airk)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2012, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426/68 "2012-04-19T14:49:18Z")
> [@beowulff](#): > > It was written by, and aimed at, college kids. You are probably no long it’s target reader. It was pretty damn funny when I first read it 30 years ago… I’m definitely not in the target demographic anymore, but I first read it in High school, and it seemed pretty dumb then too. 😉 Trying too hard is definitely a good term for it. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2012, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426/69 "2012-04-19T16:07:13Z")
I loved _Bored Of The Rings_ as a kid, as an adult and love it as a gentleman in his 50’s. From the prologue: _“This book is predominantly concerned with making money…”_ 😃 ---
**Author:** ![well\_he\_s\_back](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/3ab097/32.png) [@well\_he\_s\_back](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/well_he_s_back)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2012, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426/70 "2012-04-19T17:23:16Z")
Speaking of making a living in the Shire, what other professions were there? Farmer, miller, postman, bartender? Wonder if Sam gave up gardening when he became mayor. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2012, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426/71 "2012-04-19T17:27:13Z")
I doubt that mayor was a salaried position. Butcher, baker, candlestick maker. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2012, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426/72 "2012-04-19T19:16:11Z")
> [@well\_he\_s\_back](#): > > Speaking of making a living in the Shire, what other professions were there? Farmer, miller, postman, bartender? Wonder if Sam gave up gardening when he became mayor. And in _The Hobbit_, somewhere, there was a clockmaker. ---
**Author:** ![Phedre\_no\_Delaunay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/839c29/32.png) [@Phedre\_no\_Delaunay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phedre_no_Delaunay)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426/73 "2012-04-20T02:58:52Z")
> [@Airk](#): > > Am I the only one who found Bored of the Rings puerile and more or less the opposite of clever and entertaining? I mean…puns? Really? That’s all you’ve got? Let me go fetch a copy of a Xanth book or something. 😛 Not at all, it was really stupid. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426/74 "2012-04-20T11:57:41Z")
> [@Phedre\_no\_Delaunay](#): > > Not at all, it was really stupid. Sounds like a Narc. ---
**Author:** ![Whiteknight](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whiteknight/32/4962_2.png) [@Whiteknight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whiteknight)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426/75 "2012-04-20T12:54:57Z")
> [@BMalion](#): > > And in _The Hobbit_, somewhere, there was a clockmaker. How about Shirriffing? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426/76 "2012-04-20T12:57:07Z")
> [@BMalion](#): > > Sounds like a Narc. I’ll call Tim Benzadrine. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2012, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426/77 "2012-04-23T04:56:54Z")
I was in high school when I picked up Bored of the Rings. I laughed like the idiot I am for three solid hours. But I think Tom Lehrer is funny too. And the Danes got the best of it by far when we sent him over there as “revenge” for Victor Borge. ---
**Author:** ![Gagundathar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@Gagundathar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gagundathar)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2012, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426/78 "2012-04-23T05:27:55Z")
Ah, the memories… > [@](#): > > We boggies are a hairy folk > Who like to eat until we choke. > Loving all like friend and brother, > And hardly ever eat each other. > > Ever hungry, ever thirsting. > Never stop till belly’s bursting. > Chewing chop and pork and muttons, > A merry race of boring gluttons. > > Sing: Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, > Gobble,gobble,gobble,gobble. > > Boggies gather round the table, > Eat as much as you are able. > Gorge yourselves from moon till noon > (Don’t forget your plate and spoon). > > Anything edible, we’ve got dibs on, > And hope we all die with our bibs on. > Ever gay, we’ll never grow up, > Come! And sing and play and throw-up! > > Sing: Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, > Gobble,gobble,gobble,gobble…" ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2012, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426/79 "2012-04-23T07:17:47Z")
> [@BrotherCadfael](#): > > Bilbo was a “gentleman”. He had family money, probably derived from renting property. While not seen in the book, he probably had some hobbits employed to maintain the property, collect the rents, etc. Of course, gentlemen do not discuss such things. But it is very curious that a hobbit of Bilbo’s means does not appear to have any servants around. (Which is why nobody knows the reasons for Bilbo’s sudden disappearance from the Shire and he can eventually be presumed dead.) ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2012, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426/80 "2012-04-23T07:42:09Z")
> [@Phedre\_no\_Delaunay](#): > > Not at all, it was really stupid. And stupidity is funny. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426.md?page=5)