# What did Bilbo Baggins do for a living? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 11, 2012, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426 "2012-04-11T01:59:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Captain\_M](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@Captain\_M](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_M)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2012, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426/81 "2012-04-23T14:29:12Z")
> [@](#): > > But it is very curious that a hobbit of Bilbo’s means does not appear to have any servants around. Well, what you have to keep in mind here is that Hobbits don’t believe in doing work in the traditional sense. Therefore, nobody would dream of becoming a butler or a maid to Bilbo. ---
**Author:** ![RickRick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/4bbf92/32.png) [@RickRick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickRick)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2012, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426/82 "2012-04-24T18:14:08Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > They didn’t call them zombies (the local term apparently was dwimerlaik). But they had things that had died but were still moving around. The barrow-wights for example. That’s close enough to a zombie for me. I think the Nazgul were also at least halfway to being zombies as well. And I recall that Saruman was making some kind of artificial life-forms in the movie. I’m sketchy on the details but I’m betting it involved dead bodies at some stage in the process. Oh, my. We must all go back and read more carefully. The dwimmerlaik was the reptilian beast flown in battle by the Lord of the Nazgul. Yes, lots of zombie-like critters roaming around, most especially the Army of the Dead recruited by Aragorn, without which the Battle of the Pelennor Field would have been lost. Speaking of which, go to this link ([http://ymarkov.livejournal.com/280578.html](http://ymarkov.livejournal.com/280578.html)) for an interesting alternative history of Middle-Earth, the War of the Ring, and the explicitly zombie army. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2012, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426/83 "2012-04-24T18:25:46Z")
I always thought of the Nazgul as being something like liches. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2012, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426/84 "2012-04-24T18:36:42Z")
I thought when Zombies bit or whacked you, you became a zombie yourself.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2012, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426/85 "2012-04-24T19:30:30Z")
I thought that the Dead recruited by Aragorn were more ghost-style-- It’s not even clear whether their swords were capable of inflicting wounds. The barrow-wights, though, were definitely corporeal. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2012, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426/86 "2012-04-24T20:03:50Z")
> [@Captain\_M](#): > > Well, what you have to keep in mind here is that Hobbits don’t believe in doing work in the traditional sense. Therefore, nobody would dream of becoming a butler or a maid to Bilbo. 😕 Apparently most of them farm, which certainly is “work in the traditional sense.” ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2012, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426/87 "2012-04-24T20:31:39Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > 😕 Apparently most of them farm, which certainly is “work in the traditional sense.” “No machines more complicated that a garotte or a Luger.” ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2012, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426/88 "2012-04-24T22:38:08Z")
> [@RickRick](#): > > Oh, my. We must all go back and read more carefully. The dwimmerlaik was the reptilian beast flown in battle by the Lord of the Nazgul. Oh, my. Read more carefully yourself. Eowyn addresses the [Lord of](http://www.glyphweb.com/arda/d/dwimmerlaik.html) [the Nazgul](http://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Dwimmerlaik) as “dwimmerlaik”, and no more talks to his winged beast than he wastes words on her horse. I’ll give your piece of self-advertisement a miss, thanks. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426/89 "2012-04-25T00:45:45Z")
Tolkienians being snarky with each other! Been gazing into a palantir to closely, have we? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426/90 "2012-04-25T01:25:55Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > I thought when Zombies bit or whacked you, you became a zombie yourself.🙂 Now we’re getting into George Romero territory. I’m talking more Val Lewton. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426/91 "2012-04-25T01:35:20Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Now we’re getting into George Romero territory. I’m talking more Val Lewton. _Gone With the Wind_ and _Cat People_ have [zombies?](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Val_Lewton) 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426/92 "2012-04-25T02:00:54Z")
> [@Tom\_Scud](#): > > I believe he was a [Senator](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theodore_G._Bilbo). He was. I can’t find the full text of Andy Duncan’s “Senator Bilbo” but here’s a [podcast reading](http://podcastle.org/2008/11/04/pc032-senator-bilbo/). I think your best chance is to find a copy of Year’s Best Fantasy 2. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426/93 "2012-04-25T02:07:00Z")
> [@asterion](#): > > He was. I can’t find the full text of Andy Duncan’s “Senator Bilbo” but here’s a [podcast reading](http://podcastle.org/2008/11/04/pc032-senator-bilbo/). I think your best chance is to find a copy of Year’s Best Fantasy 2. There is [this guy,](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theodore_G._Bilbo) already mentioned somewhere. Can’t see his feet in the picture. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426/94 "2012-04-25T03:22:26Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > _Gone With the Wind_ and _Cat People_ have [zombies?](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Val_Lewton) I was thinking about the classic, _I Walked With a Nazgul_. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426/95 "2012-04-25T06:07:48Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Tolkienians being snarky with each other! > > Been gazing into a palantir to closely, have we? > > 🙂 No, but I doubt the sincerity of a total stranger who pops up to tell us all that we’re wrong, and coincidentally provides a link to where there is an ebook for sale. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426/96 "2012-04-25T07:06:12Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > No, but I doubt the sincerity of a total stranger who pops up to tell us all that we’re wrong, and coincidentally provides a link to where there is an ebook for sale. :dubious: [_The Last Ringbearer_](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Last_Ringbearer) is a real book. ---
**Author:** ![RickRick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/4bbf92/32.png) [@RickRick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickRick)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426/97 "2012-04-25T13:37:15Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > Oh, my. Read more carefully yourself. Eowyn addresses the [Lord of](http://www.glyphweb.com/arda/d/dwimmerlaik.html) [the Nazgul](http://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Dwimmerlaik) as “dwimmerlaik”, and no more talks to his winged beast than he wastes words on her horse. > I’ll give your piece of self-advertisement a miss, thanks. “Dwimmerlaik - An archaic name representing a word in the language of the Rohirrim. It comes from the Old English for ‘magical art’, implying a spectral being, with the same first element also appearing in Dwimordene (‘vale of phantoms’, a name for Lórien) and Dwimorberg (the ‘Haunted Mountain’). Éowyn defiantly granted this title to the Lord of the Nazgûl during the Battle of the Pelennor Fields.” _From the Encyclopedia of Arda_ Well, I’ll be _damned_. I’ve read LOTR a dozen times, and missed that every time. As for thinking I’m Kirill Yeskov, here to advertise my book, thanks, but no. It doesn’t need any promotion. And it’s not for sale, it’s a free PDF. Yeskov would get hammered by the Tolkien estate if he tried to sell it. They’re very touchy about such things. Of course, you would have known that if you’d gone and looked at the link rather than get all antsy and proprietary about _ **your** _ SDMB! LOL! ---
**Author:** ![RickRick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/4bbf92/32.png) [@RickRick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickRick)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426/98 "2012-04-25T13:55:51Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Tolkienians being snarky with each other! > > Been gazing into a palantir to closely, have we? > > 🙂 Guilty. Been a Tolkien geek since the age of 10. I keep it well hidden at work. In preparation for the release of the first movie several years ago, I pulled down my dusty copy of _The Silmarillion_ and read that f#@ker through from cover to cover. It was a hard slog, like reading the Book of Leviticus over and over. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426/99 "2012-04-25T14:28:59Z")
Damn, I’ve never made it through the Silmarillion. I’ve never made it past the point where I realized the story was repeating. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426/100 "2012-04-25T14:39:24Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Ah yes, the fellow brandished by the Thesaurus in\* Bored of the Ring. \* No, by the Ballhog. “You dieth, GI!” screamed the faggot. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-bilbo-baggins-do-for-a-living/618426.md?page=6)