# What did the aardvark say to the taxi driver? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 16, 2016, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-aardvark-say-to-the-taxi-driver/766119 "2016-09-16T23:43:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2016, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-aardvark-say-to-the-taxi-driver/766119/1 "2016-09-16T23:43:30Z")
On the recent season finale of “Zoo,” two zoologists are performing a dangerous procedure. To keep things light, they play a game of animal riddles, such as “Why did the cow become an astronaut? So he could go to the mooooooon.” Anyway, one asks, “What did the aardvark say to the taxi driver?” And before either of them could supply an answer, he dies. Now it’s possible (maybe even likely) the writers never came up with an answer, because they knew they didn’t need one. But I think it deserves an answer, and there’s not a cleverer batch of folks anywhere to come up with one that right here. So what ya got? Thanks! PS - this isn’t really about the TV show, but about the riddle, so I put it in here rather than Cafe Society. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2016, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-aardvark-say-to-the-taxi-driver/766119/2 "2016-09-16T23:54:47Z")
“You lookin’ at me? Are you lookin’ at me?” Sorry, the best I could do. :o ---
**Author:** ![Alley\_Dweller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alley_dweller/32/430_2.png) [@Alley\_Dweller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alley_Dweller)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2016, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-aardvark-say-to-the-taxi-driver/766119/3 "2016-09-16T23:56:35Z")
“Take me to my ants’ [sic] place.” ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2016, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-aardvark-say-to-the-taxi-driver/766119/4 "2016-09-17T00:09:01Z")
“Honey, this one’s eating my popcorn.” ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2016, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-aardvark-say-to-the-taxi-driver/766119/5 "2016-09-17T01:11:58Z")
“Fifty-first and Tarantula, driver…and step on it!” ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2016, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-aardvark-say-to-the-taxi-driver/766119/6 "2016-09-17T02:08:35Z")
Why is a raven like a writing desk? ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2016, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-aardvark-say-to-the-taxi-driver/766119/7 "2016-09-17T02:22:19Z")
> [@Ukulele\_Ike](#): > > Why is a raven like a writing desk? Because there is a B in both, and an N in neither. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2016, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-aardvark-say-to-the-taxi-driver/766119/8 "2016-09-17T03:18:37Z")
“Where’s a good spot for a picnic?” ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2016, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-aardvark-say-to-the-taxi-driver/766119/9 "2016-09-17T03:29:43Z")
Take me to the anthill, and step on it! ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2016, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-aardvark-say-to-the-taxi-driver/766119/10 "2016-09-17T03:31:18Z")
> [@Alan\_Smithee](#): > > Because there is a B in both, and an N in neither. And Poe wrote on both of them. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2016, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-aardvark-say-to-the-taxi-driver/766119/11 "2016-09-17T03:31:58Z")
“I am not related to the anteater, being of an entirely different family and order.” Taxi Driver: “Why are you telling me?” Aardvark: “I’m telling everybody.” ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2016, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-aardvark-say-to-the-taxi-driver/766119/12 "2016-09-17T06:10:26Z")
“No need to fear for your life, Mr Incipient-Paranoid Taxi driver. Aardvark’s never killed anyone” ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2016, 10:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-aardvark-say-to-the-taxi-driver/766119/13 "2016-09-17T10:30:22Z")
Any ant-farms open this time of night? ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2016, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-aardvark-say-to-the-taxi-driver/766119/14 "2016-09-17T14:22:28Z")
Nothing. Aardvarks can’t talk. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2016, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-aardvark-say-to-the-taxi-driver/766119/15 "2016-09-17T15:24:40Z")
> [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](#): > > And Poe wrote on both of them. And something about inky quills. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2016, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-aardvark-say-to-the-taxi-driver/766119/16 "2016-09-17T15:35:26Z")
“It’s aardvark, but the pay’s pretty good.” ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2016, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-aardvark-say-to-the-taxi-driver/766119/17 "2016-09-17T17:33:25Z")
> [@hogarth](#): > > “It’s aardvark, but the pay’s pretty good.” It took me just long enough to take a sip of Diet Coke before I got this. I could have choked to death! ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2016, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-aardvark-say-to-the-taxi-driver/766119/18 "2016-09-17T18:37:26Z")
“That’s right, I said follow that car, I’m not echidna.” ---
**Author:** ![Mk\_VII](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Mk\_VII](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mk_VII)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2016, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-aardvark-say-to-the-taxi-driver/766119/19 "2016-09-17T21:13:24Z")
“They say aardvark never killed anyone, but I figured why take a chance.” ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2016, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-aardvark-say-to-the-taxi-driver/766119/20 "2016-09-17T21:55:29Z")
It’s a trick question. Aardvarks never, ever use taxis. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-aardvark-say-to-the-taxi-driver/766119.md?page=2)