# What did the aardvark say to the taxi driver? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 16, 2016, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-aardvark-say-to-the-taxi-driver/766119 "2016-09-16T23:43:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2016, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-aardvark-say-to-the-taxi-driver/766119/21 "2016-09-17T22:04:48Z")
> [@blondebear](#): > > It’s a trick question. Aardvarks never, ever use taxis. But they need a credit card for the Uber app. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2016, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-aardvark-say-to-the-taxi-driver/766119/22 "2016-09-17T22:28:55Z")
> [@blondebear](#): > > It’s a trick question. Aardvarks never, ever use taxis. Yeah, but they could still be talking to a taxi driver for some other reason. ---
**Author:** ![Ignatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3be4f8/32.png) [@Ignatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ignatz)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2016, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-aardvark-say-to-the-taxi-driver/766119/23 "2016-09-17T22:50:59Z")
“I’m stalkin’ here! I’m stalkin’ here.” ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2016, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-aardvark-say-to-the-taxi-driver/766119/24 "2016-09-17T23:07:10Z")
“Jesus, this again?! Armadillos carry leprosy, NOT aardvarks!” ---
**Author:** ![Alley\_Dweller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alley_dweller/32/430_2.png) [@Alley\_Dweller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alley_Dweller)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2016, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-aardvark-say-to-the-taxi-driver/766119/25 "2016-09-17T23:30:22Z")
“Grunt. Grunt. Grunt.” (Aardvarks don’t speak human languages.) ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2016, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-aardvark-say-to-the-taxi-driver/766119/26 "2016-09-18T00:19:16Z")
> [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](#): > > And before either of them could supply an answer, he dies. Wait, who died? Were they operating on each other, or was it an animal patient? ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2016, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-aardvark-say-to-the-taxi-driver/766119/27 "2016-09-18T00:27:29Z")
\*I’m an Aardvark, and I’m prooouud!!! I’m an Aardvark, and I’m happy!!!.. \* ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2016, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-aardvark-say-to-the-taxi-driver/766119/28 "2016-09-18T06:56:37Z")
> [@zoid](#): > > “Jesus, this again?! Armadillos carry leprosy, NOT aardvarks!” Who said armadillos carry aardvarks? ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2016, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-aardvark-say-to-the-taxi-driver/766119/29 "2016-09-18T08:22:59Z")
**Aardvark** : “I’m fine, why do you ask?” **Taxi driver** : “You look a little long in the face.” ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2016, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-aardvark-say-to-the-taxi-driver/766119/30 "2016-09-19T14:09:28Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > “I am not related to the anteater, being of an entirely different family and order.” > > Taxi Driver: “Why are you telling me?” > > Aardvark: “I’m telling everybody.” I did not know that! ---
**Author:** ![Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/half_man_half_wit/32/21766_2.png) [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Half_Man_Half_Wit)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2016, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-aardvark-say-to-the-taxi-driver/766119/31 "2016-09-19T17:22:11Z")
Nothing, for the entire drive. It was a very awkward aardvark. ---
**Author:** ![Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/half_man_half_wit/32/21766_2.png) [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Half_Man_Half_Wit)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2016, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-aardvark-say-to-the-taxi-driver/766119/32 "2016-09-19T17:31:54Z")
> [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](#): > > Nothing, for the entire drive. > > It was a very awkward aardvark. Or maybe: Nothing. They spent the whole drive in aardvark silence. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2016, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-aardvark-say-to-the-taxi-driver/766119/33 "2016-09-19T18:37:01Z")
Several hundred pages worth of barely coherent misogynistic ranting. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2016, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-aardvark-say-to-the-taxi-driver/766119/34 "2016-09-19T19:04:50Z")
No, no, not _that_ Arthur! I’ve never had a drink in my life! ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2016, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-aardvark-say-to-the-taxi-driver/766119/35 "2016-09-19T20:19:14Z")
“I’m an Aardvark, an edentate mammal with wrinkled dermis.” ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2016, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-aardvark-say-to-the-taxi-driver/766119/36 "2016-09-19T21:31:06Z")
“No need for a map, I nose the way” ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2016, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-aardvark-say-to-the-taxi-driver/766119/37 "2016-09-19T21:36:46Z")
“Is that a hula dancer on your dashboard!?” ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2016, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-aardvark-say-to-the-taxi-driver/766119/38 "2016-09-19T22:27:21Z")
“Paark Avenue, and step on it!” ---
**Author:** ![Ponch8](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponch8/32/9883_2.png) [@Ponch8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponch8)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2016, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-aardvark-say-to-the-taxi-driver/766119/39 "2016-09-20T01:08:50Z")
Speaking of incomplete jokes heard on TV, I have another. In an old Simpsons episode, Flanders was complaining to Homer that Bart had a potty mouth. He told Homer about a dirty joke Bart told him: the joke involved an octopus and a set of bagpipes. In the punchline, it was implied that the octopus fornicated with the bagpipes. What was the joke? ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2016, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-aardvark-say-to-the-taxi-driver/766119/40 "2016-09-20T01:18:25Z")
> [@Ponch8](#): > > Speaking of incomplete jokes heard on TV, I have another. In an old Simpsons episode, Flanders was complaining to Homer that Bart had a potty mouth. He told Homer about a dirty joke Bart told him: the joke involved an octopus and a set of bagpipes. In the punchline, it was implied that the octopus fornicated with the bagpipes. What was the joke? Oh, come on. It took about 5 seconds to Google it. > **[The Musical Octopus - The Joke Yard](http://www.thejokeyard.com/dirty_sex_jokes/the_musical_octopus.html)** > > A guy walks into a bar with an octopus. He sits the octopus down on a stool and tells everyone in the bar that this is a very talented octopus. He can play any musical instrument in the world. He hears everyone in the crowd laughing at him, calling... [http://www.electricscotland.com/humour/h4.htm](http://www.electricscotland.com/humour/h4.htm) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-aardvark-say-to-the-taxi-driver/766119.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-aardvark-say-to-the-taxi-driver/766119.md?page=3)