What did the animals eat on Noahs Ark? What did they eat after they landed?

In the usually unpublished footnote, it mentions that the Ark was a Tardis.

Hmm - pTerry often mentions how all libraries are connected in some way. Perhaps all barns and stables are too. That might explain why the manure pile at my daughter’s old barn got so big so fast - poop from the Ark keeps getting added. Not to mention the feed bills - hay vanishes into the past.

As plausible as the other explanations.

Bigger than what? If you feel that it’s a story, why are you looking for factual explanations? If you accept that G-d could make the Flood, why question the other miracles?

God only has the Water ring (he stole it off the Russian chick).

To hold all the animal species in the world, how big would the ship have to be? <—another question.

What about the plants?

Was Noahs family into incest?

That would’ve been Lot’s family.

One of them had the clap, of that we can be certain.

So, Mangetout, do you suppose he was drunkenly shouting, “Who’s your daddy?”

Okay, that’s enough sick jokes.

Most modern Bible translations don’t bother to mention the other ark:

Maybe they trained a couple of birds to bring them whatever food was still growing above the flood level?

Of course, that begs the question of how fast they would travel, and how exactly they would transport said foodstuff.

Maybe they were carrying it on a bit of vine…

And what is the average airspeed of an unladed swallow?

According to the Genesis account, Noah took into the Ark his own wife, his three sons (Shem, Ham, and Japheth), and their wives. Hence, no incest – at least until the next generation, when the assorted children of the three sons and their wives (see Genesis 10; Japheth is said to have had 7 sons, Ham 4, and Shem 5. As usual in eponymic genealogies, no daughetrs are mentioned.

Genesis 6:21, by the way, specifies that Noah loaded the Ark with edibles for humans and animals – which begins to make the Tardis theory reasonable. :wink:

The point to the whole story, of course, is that God can get wrathful and smite those sinners, but His providence will always provide for the righteous (Noah & family), including preserving the creatures of wood and field for their herds, hunting, and pleasure.

Ham, by the way, is depicted as more than a bit perverse. After the Flood, Noah plants a vineyard and gets stone drunk (reasonable, he’d been doing the Ark-building thing for years and then spent something over four months on stormy seas during the Flood). Ham discovers him and has his way with his own daddy. (See Genesis 9:20-29.) He’s probably the one who was the reservoir for the STDs. :slight_smile:

(And the Google ads are promoting flood protection policies and such and workers’ comp compliance in Louisiana – which makes me wonder what the Google search engine knows that we don’t! :D)

Where is this passage found?

I like Eddie Izzards point in one of his shows:

The fish and ducks are all swimming in the rising water as noah tells them to come aboard, and they say “fuck you, I can swim”

Kind of a large logic hole, huh? - the swimming creatures all got away scott free.

If we are to function as nothing more than your straight men I missed the memo, Your God-Kingliness. I’ve been here long enough to know that a dangling straight line, and I’ve dangled a few, is fair game. It’s the least we smart straightmen (vs smart, straight men, though we are that, too) can provide the permanent class clowns that infest this joint. :wink:

Thanks Lissa after posting I did think it was a multiple of seven. But needless to say there was food available for the carnivores.

With God all things are possible, so yes it could happen. We also know where Noah finally beached the ark - called the Ararat Anomaly.

Genesis 6:23-24, of the Holy Bible, Authorized King Ambrosius Version Including The Good Parts (foreword by Thomas Jefferson; annotations by Martin Gardner; illustrations by Frank Frazetta), Exclusive Terrifel-Only Edition.

According to the footnotes, the expression “logistical support craft” may be a mistranslation of the term “salvation” or perhaps “olive tree.” Many subtleties of idiomatic usage were no doubt lost in the translation from the original Klingon.

Manna. What else?

Your own cite says:

On the other hand, modern archaeology has confirmed that the inhabitants of Noah’s Ark had access to soy products, as evidenced by that one chunk of the Ark recovered a few years back that was soaked in teriyaki sauce. Presumably the Ark’s crew (and possibly some of the animals) subsisted largely on a diet of marinated fish similar to traditional Japanese or Hawaiian cuisine. This seems appropriate somehow.

Poly,

According to the Bible, Ham was sent away by Noah cursed to be a black man. You should look up the Curse of Ham. I don’t believe that Ham saw Noah drunk, but in a homosexual position. So Noah sent him off to Ethiopia to start the black race. Turned his hair curly, inflated his lips and increased the size of his manhood.

I believe that was edited out of the newer versions of the Bible.