# What did the Christ family do with all the magi swag? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 13, 2006, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-christ-family-do-with-all-the-magi-swag/384025 "2006-12-13T21:41:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-christ-family-do-with-all-the-magi-swag/384025/21 "2006-12-14T05:25:08Z")
[QUOTE=madmonk28] Everyone nows the “H” stands for howard. From the prayer: Our Father in heaven, Howard by thy name. Duh. [/QUOTE] :smack: And I always thought it was **Harold!** ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-christ-family-do-with-all-the-magi-swag/384025/22 "2006-12-14T05:33:11Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] :smack: And I always thought it was **Harold!** [/QUOTE] No. no. It’s the Harold angels, to whose singing we ought to hark. ---
**Author:** ![hekk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/50afbb/32.png) [@hekk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hekk)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-christ-family-do-with-all-the-magi-swag/384025/23 "2006-12-14T06:30:47Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] But what did the “H.” stand for? [/QUOTE] The [Master](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_033.html) speaks… ---
**Author:** ![jimmmy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/73ab20/32.png) [@jimmmy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimmmy)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-christ-family-do-with-all-the-magi-swag/384025/24 "2006-12-14T15:05:29Z")
DTC gives the GQ answer. Let me elaborate a bit Matthew was (probably) written to Jews who were familiar with Old Testament prophecy and (probably) was written to convince these Jews that Jesus was the promised Messiah, a greater King than David, and a more righteous lawgiver than Moses. ## So when reading Matthew’s birth narrative you can ask do the Magi contain prophecies that were fulfilled (Isaiah 60.3 is the one most cited) or try to show that Jesus is recognized by some of the perceived the wisest & most respected men of the time as a great King right from the start (yes). IMO if you absolutely need to read the story literally, there is no reason for the gifts to be “swag” they are clearly meant, even in the story, to be symbolic (even if we have lost the exact meaning of this symbolism) and the wise men can be thought of as more less Steven Hawking, Richard Dawkins and The Amazing Randi showing up at an Atheist’s Baby birth and noting him as a great learned man and leaving gifts: cool & symbolic but I would hardly expect them to be valuable enough to set the kid up for life or even to finance a big trip (IOW it is not like Buffet, Gates & The Sultan of Brunei were the gift givers). There is no reason that the three mentioned gifts need to be extraorinarily valuable, life changing or thier disposition notable in a notable life. ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-christ-family-do-with-all-the-magi-swag/384025/25 "2006-12-14T15:06:21Z")
[QUOTE=madmonk28] Everyone nows the “H” stands for howard. From the prayer: Our Father in heaven, Howard by thy name. Duh. [/QUOTE] But he went by “Howie” for short. As a matter of fact I have it on good authority that he had a personalized carpenter’s belt with “Howie” written on the back. E3 ---
**Author:** ![42Geek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/6bbea6/32.png) [@42Geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/42Geek)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-christ-family-do-with-all-the-magi-swag/384025/26 "2006-12-14T15:10:54Z")
> [@](#): > > While the Gospels give very little information on Jesus’s life before he began his ministry, actually that’s inaccurate. There’s a whole bunch of Gospels that weren’t included in the canon. A comitte decided which stories would be put into the offical 'church sanctioned" Bible. I remember reading an excerpt from when Jesus was a little boy…it was almost exactly like that Twillight Zone episode about that little boy who nobody can cross, and who does all this naughty stuff! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-christ-family-do-with-all-the-magi-swag/384025/27 "2006-12-14T15:13:51Z")
[QUOTE=danceswithcats] No. no. It’s the Harold angels, to whose singing we ought to hark. [/QUOTE] Are you sure it’s not “Hark, the hairlipped angels sing… _gwory tooo na newborn keeeng_” (sung in my version of what a hairlipped person might sound like).\* \*my apologies in advance to anyone who is offended by this joke, or suffers from a cleft lip. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-christ-family-do-with-all-the-magi-swag/384025/28 "2006-12-14T15:24:01Z")
[QUOTE=Jodi] The lyrics to the carol “We Three Kings” sets out at least some of those symbolic meanings: Gold = Kingship: “Born a King on Bethlehem’s plain; Gold I bring to crown Him again” Frankensense = Godhood: “Frankincense to offer have I; Incense owns a Deity nigh” Myrrh = Death: “Myrrh is mine, its bitter perfume, Breathes of life of gathering gloom; Sorrowing, sighing, bleeding, dying, Sealed in the stone-cold tomb.” [/QUOTE] What did the rubber cigar symbolize? It was loaded; it exploded. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-christ-family-do-with-all-the-magi-swag/384025/29 "2006-12-14T15:31:38Z")
[QUOTE=42Geek] actually that’s inaccurate. There’s a whole bunch of Gospels that weren’t included in the canon. A comitte decided which stories would be put into the offical 'church sanctioned" Bible. I remember reading an excerpt from when Jesus was a little boy…it was almost exactly like that Twillight Zone episode about that little boy who nobody can cross, and who does all this naughty stuff! :eek: [/QUOTE] That would be the [Infancy Gospel of Thomas](http://www.earlychristianwritings.com/infancythomas.html). Jesus is like Damien in that one. It’s mid to late 2nd Century. There’s an Infancy Gospel of [James](http://www.earlychristianwritings.com/infancyjames.html) from about the same time. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-christ-family-do-with-all-the-magi-swag/384025/30 "2006-12-14T15:32:47Z")
[QUOTE=Eve] What did the rubber cigar symbolize? It was loaded; it exploded. [/QUOTE] If I recall correctly, it was a grenade. ---
**Author:** ![Sal\_Ammoniac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Sal\_Ammoniac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sal_Ammoniac)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-christ-family-do-with-all-the-magi-swag/384025/31 "2006-12-14T15:40:14Z")
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic] That would be the [Infancy Gospel of Thomas](http://www.earlychristianwritings.com/infancythomas.html). Jesus is like Damien in that one. It’s mid to late 2nd Century. [/QUOTE] Cool cite! It’s like a bad joke: “Next, he [Jesus] was going through the village again and a running child bumped his shoulder. Becoming bitter, Jesus said to him, ‘You will not complete your journey.’ (2) Immediately, he fell down and died.” ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-christ-family-do-with-all-the-magi-swag/384025/32 "2006-12-14T15:53:06Z")
[QUOTE=Sal Ammoniac] Cool cite! It’s like a bad joke: “Next, he [Jesus] was going through the village again and a running child bumped his shoulder. Becoming bitter, Jesus said to him, ‘You will not complete your journey.’ (2) Immediately, he fell down and died.” [/QUOTE] Puts a whole new complexion on, “What Would Jesus Do?” ---
**Author:** ![VenusProbe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/e495f1/32.png) [@VenusProbe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VenusProbe)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-christ-family-do-with-all-the-magi-swag/384025/33 "2006-12-14T16:46:05Z")
[QUOTE=Eve] What did the rubber cigar symbolize? It was loaded; it exploded. [/QUOTE] I don’t know what it symbolized, but I’m pretty sure it was the prototype for [this](http://www.clubi.ie/exalted/holyhand.htm). ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-christ-family-do-with-all-the-magi-swag/384025/34 "2006-12-14T17:06:32Z")
[QUOTE=madmonk28] Everyone nows the “H” stands for howard. From the prayer: Our Father in heaven, Howard by thy name. Duh. [/QUOTE] Then Howard would be his \*\*\*father’s \*\*\* (God’s) name. “God” is merely his job description. I think they made curtains out of all that “swag,” and the sold the rest on eBay. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-christ-family-do-with-all-the-magi-swag/384025/35 "2006-12-14T18:23:30Z")
[QUOTE=panache45] Then Howard would be his \*\*\*father’s \*\*\* (God’s) name. “God” is merely his job description. I think they made curtains out of all that “swag,” and the sold the rest on eBay. [/QUOTE] So would he then be Jesus H Christ Jr? ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-christ-family-do-with-all-the-magi-swag/384025/36 "2006-12-14T18:31:08Z")
> [@](#): > > What did the Christ family do with all the magi swag? > > A silly question? Sure, but what are Mary and Joseph supposed to have done with that stuff? They blew it all on Malt Liquour & Lottery Tickets. And then they waved bye-bye as **Bosda** launched himself down the _greased chute to Hell!_ 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-christ-family-do-with-all-the-magi-swag/384025/37 "2006-12-14T18:37:36Z")
[QUOTE=Antinor01] So would he then be Jesus H Christ Jr? [/QUOTE] Jesus W. Christ? ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-christ-family-do-with-all-the-magi-swag/384025/38 "2006-12-14T19:13:26Z")
Somewhere in the last post is a joke about a “Burning Bush” ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-christ-family-do-with-all-the-magi-swag/384025/39 "2006-12-14T19:37:06Z")
[QUOTE=Eve] What did the rubber cigar symbolize? It was loaded; it exploded. [/QUOTE] **BrainGlutton** ’s post opened the door for posting the whole of this version, which my mom instilled in me early on. Oh what the hell, for the one person who hasn’t heard it: We three kings of Orient are Smoking on a rubber cigar It was loaded, it exploded POOM! We two kings of Orient are Smoking on a rubber cigar It was loaded, it exploded POOM! I one king of Orient are Smoking on a rubber cigar It was loaded, it exploded POOM! Si-ilent night… _NOW I’m in the Christmas spirit!_ ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-christ-family-do-with-all-the-magi-swag/384025/40 "2006-12-14T19:41:31Z")
They would have had use for the gold and the frankincense, I imagine. The myrrh, I’m sure, was quietly re-gifted. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-christ-family-do-with-all-the-magi-swag/384025.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-the-christ-family-do-with-all-the-magi-swag/384025.md?page=3)