She probably had no freaking idea what the hell you were doing. Normal people don’t carry clipboards when they’re just out for a casual stroll, ya know? And people who are on some sort of business that would involve a clipboard typically don’t bring kids along with them.
You get a synthesis of two things that generally make people uneasy. The clipboard and the notetaking makes it look like you’re gathering information, which you are in fact doing. If someone who doesn’t live in the area is out in my neighborhood gathering information, I’m going to think they’re most likely gathering it about either the neighborhood or the people in it. Unknown people gathering unknown information about you or your home for unknown purposes is something a lot of people find disturbing.
And then you have the weird factor. When it’s not readily apparent what you’re up to, it comes across as weird. Somebody out on the street doing something weird one time makes people say, “huh, that’s weird” and then they go right on about their business. The second and third time that same thing happens, they think “damn, that’s really weird” and they’re a little slower to go about their business. When it keeps happening after that, they get a little freaked out because really weird people tend to have that effect on others.
You put those two things together, and I certainly can’t blame someone for asking what you’re up to, nor can I blame her for not being satisfied with your answer.
If someone is acting lawfully on public property, it’s nobody else’s business what they are doing.
I have no right to know what anyone else is doing.
Conversely, if I am doing something lawful on public property, butt out. I have no duty to answer to any busy bodies, and failure to answer to a busy body does not make one a nuisance.
“May I ask what you are doing?”
“Just doing my job.”
“May I ask what your job is?”
“Sorry, I can’t get into that.”
“May I ask who you are?”
“Sorry, I can’t get into that either. Have a good day.”
And there’s no reason that people can’t feel free to ask all they want, or follow you to keep an eye on you. It’s not something I’d particularly do, but it’s the basis of Neighborhood Watch programs and can foster a sense of community. It cuts both ways.
I don’t disagree with anything you’ve said, but things go beyond that.
I agree with that. Neighbors have the right to observe, ask, follow, call the cops, gossip, etc. I guess I was more put off by the concepts that (1) people acting lawfully in public “don’t belong” somewhere in public; (2) residents are “entitled” to know things of others acting lawfully in public; and (3) a failure to divulge information to a resident, who has no right to know the information, makes the other person a “nuisance.”
You really must be kidding. Are you saying that you’ve never taken a walk in neighborhood in which you don’t live? Now imagine that someone came out of their house and asked why you were walking down their block. Would you feel obligated to give a response?
I sure as hell wouldn’t. I would think the person is acting in an absurd manner and, if they’re lucky, the only response they would get is a raised eyebrow.
Exactly. Other people have a right to walk around in your neighborhood even if gasp, horrors, they don’t live there! I don’t care if it is your community, you’re not justified in getting all up in everybody’s business just because you think they don’t “belong.” If you feel that way, you’re better off in a private gated community somewhere where you don’t have to worry about scary outsiders.
I would worry about the kid. The clipboard confuses me, as does the other adult. The clipboard tells me (door to door, anyway) that you’re either trying to solicit donations to something or your taking a survey. Not interested.
The kid blows that theory, half formed as I vacuum the living room and spot you outside. Kid seems to act a bit strange as well. Hmmmm…
Nanny–what is she doing? She seems to interact more with the kid than Clipboard Lady. Who are these people? Are they coming to the door? Nope–there, they’ve turned at the corner. Whatever.
Now, most likely I would say to myself: it’s a kid, and 2 women; <shrug> and go about my day.
(actually, none of this would happen on my street, seeing as how we have no sidewalk, but I can see how someone else would want to know. Did she ask in a weird way?
sure.)
I don’t think anyone is over the top for noting who is in the neighborhood and who isn’t. I said noting, not brandishing rakes and broomsticks to make the icky stranger go away. When I’m home, I try to keep tabs on the people around me–probably because we used to have a mentally ill guy several houses down who could get violent. He no longer lives here.
Yeah. I mean, I know things are different in the suburbs/gated communities, but in cities (well, cities where walking is more encouraged) it’s cool to go to a different neighborhood and just explore, look for random cool areas, etc.
Conversly, Pyper (or anyone else for that matter who feels that hassled by this type of busybody) could then whip out a cell phone themselves and call the authorities to report being harrassed. I mean, if it’s the purvey of those within a neighborhood to say who may or may not be legally amongst them, they are certainly allowed the same ability to also complain.
“Hello officer. During the course of my walk, this intrusive individual has deemed it necessary to tell me I have no legitimate right to be here, although I live close by / am just doing my job / whatever.” One would then definitely think those sorts would consider their actions first before jumping to conclusions and accusations.
That is, if you wished to go that far. And just for the record, having been an agorophobic off and on for over a decade, I could barely tell you the color of the houses next door, so I honestly have no desire to know what’s going on out there unless their truly is some sort of emergency.
Well, I’d agree that we have different perspectives on this topic given our different life experiences. As far as my view of the world, given that you’ve caricatured and made a straw man of it, I’m not sure how you would know what my view of the world is on this topic.
I was tempted to caricature your view of the world as well since it would be so easy (too easy really), but I’ll refrain.
My understanding of your OP was that you were looking to gain an understanding of a potential viewpoint from someone that might understand where this woman is coming from. It now seems that you’re more interested in justifying your (limited*) perspective, so I’ll leave you to it.
There are enough people trying to justify their often faulty and limited perspectives without my having to participate in it.
*limited by necessity due to limited life experience of living in a community environment
IMO, your second sentence doesn’t correlate with your last sentence. If neighbors have the right (and sometimes the responsibility) to observe, ask, follow, call the police and talk to their other neighbors about problems in the neighborhood, then if someone comes into the neighborhood who creates enough of an issue to warrant people taking action, that person has become a nuisance. They are requiring an action that wouldn’t otherwise be required by their unexplained presence. That, to me, has risen above the level of annoyance and has become a nuisance.
burundi, you’ve mentioned a gated community more than once in this thread. What would be different about your response to the OP in a gated community? I’m not seeing the difference of how people might behave differently there.
I think we differ as to what constitutes “creates enough of an issue to warrant people taking action” and the resulting conclusion that a “person has become a nuisance.”
I don’t see how (1) people walking with a child and a clipboard; (2) failing or refusing to respond to interrogation by a resident under the circumstances; and/or (3) engaging in either or both these activities in a neighborhood that is not your own “creates enough of an issue to warrant people taking action” and the resulting conclusion that a “person has become a nuisance.”
That seems to be an intolerant, controlling, paranoid, and/or hair-trigger definition of nuisance.
The whole point of a gated community is to keep people out. If you live in a gated community with private streets and sidewalks, then you are, IMO, more justified in questioning “outsiders,” since they are on private property, not public sidewalks. I still think it’s weird and paranoid, but at least you’re not questioning people’s right to be out and about on publicly-owned and financed roads.
And just for the record, having been an agorophobic off and on for over a decade, I could barely tell you the color of the houses next door, so I honestly have no desire to know what’s going on out there unless their truly is some sort of emergency.