# What did you name your private parts? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 16, 2001, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-you-name-your-private-parts/62141 "2001-04-16T07:21:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2001, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-you-name-your-private-parts/62141/1 "2001-04-16T07:21:30Z")
Really a two parter: **Men** Mister Happy The Bambino Wee Willie Winky Master P What have you named your favorite body part? **Women** Do women give nicknames to their body parts? I’m not talking about accepted slang terms here, I mean a real nickname. ---
**Author:** ![Mercutio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/51bf81/32.png) [@Mercutio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mercutio)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2001, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-you-name-your-private-parts/62141/2 "2001-04-16T07:25:47Z")
I lovelingly named my penis **Dexter**. ---
**Author:** ![Mercutio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/51bf81/32.png) [@Mercutio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mercutio)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2001, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-you-name-your-private-parts/62141/3 "2001-04-16T07:28:03Z")
Oh, man. I just realized I wasn’t in **IMHO**. Something tells me **Jilly** will be whooshing this over there soon. ---
**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2001, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-you-name-your-private-parts/62141/4 "2001-04-16T07:28:26Z")
I didn’t name it, but my first girlfriend did - Mr. Happy. I’ve never known a woman to name her genitalia, but I’ve heard lots of funny words as a name for them in general - hoo-ha, ta-ta, cootchie, etc. ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2001, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-you-name-your-private-parts/62141/5 "2001-04-16T07:47:20Z")
Never named my “parts” (a woman) and this belongs in IMHO or MPSIMS, read the forum descriptions. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2001, 9:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-you-name-your-private-parts/62141/6 "2001-04-16T09:33:42Z")
I just call Lil’ SPOOFE… er… “Lil’ SPOOFE”. My best friends (lovers, they are) are more creative. The guy’s “part” is known as “King Hamlet”, while the girl’s breasts are named “Titania” and “Ophelia” (I can never remember if Titania is on the right or the left), while her “maidenhood” is named “Lady MacBeth” (out, out damned cock!), and her back door is named “Puck”. They’re theatre people. What can I say? ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2001, 10:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-you-name-your-private-parts/62141/7 "2001-04-16T10:25:38Z")
'ello. My name is Inigo Montoya… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Darqangelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecccb3/32.png) [@Darqangelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darqangelle)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2001, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-you-name-your-private-parts/62141/8 "2001-04-16T10:59:02Z")
Ricky Schroeder’s left eye, Green Mongolore of the Black Sea, Johnny Mneufrolic, Fast Eddie Slipstream, The contraption, Whazzat, and Hornet God. …That’s what I name my private parts. But aren’t you curious as to what I name my penis? ---
**Author:** ![Ell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e47774/32.png) [@Ell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ell)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2001, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-you-name-your-private-parts/62141/9 "2001-04-16T11:11:17Z")
I’ve heard Russell The Love Muscle (something to do with Mr Crowe?) ---
**Author:** ![cheezit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c57346/32.png) [@cheezit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cheezit)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2001, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-you-name-your-private-parts/62141/10 "2001-04-16T12:01:50Z")
Back when I was still married, mine was named **Thurman** because that name, according to her, signified _hugeness_. 😃 Hers was named **Virginia** because it signified the delicate nature of her charms. Now we are divorced. Mine is still named Thurman because it is still a mighty beast, even though it **never** gets used anymore. It does have high hopes though. Really, really high hopes. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2001, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-you-name-your-private-parts/62141/11 "2001-04-16T12:22:45Z")
A LOT of my female friends refer to their breasts as “the Girls”. Personally I find that nomenclature fascinating because that’s what I call MY private parts 😃 😃 😃 Cartooniverse ---
**Author:** ![DVous\_Means](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@DVous\_Means](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DVous_Means)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2001, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-you-name-your-private-parts/62141/12 "2001-04-16T15:02:56Z")
I often refer to the Purple Headed Thermonuclear Heat-Seeking Moisture Missile as a “zoob”. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2001, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-you-name-your-private-parts/62141/13 "2001-04-16T15:15:53Z")
**Moderator’s Notes:** Since I’m here, I’ll move it to MPSIMS. Icarus, although this forum is named _“General Questions,”_ it’s reserved for questions of a factual nature, questions from people seeking genuine knowledge, or as the description on the forum summary page says implies, a question Cecil might be interested in answering. I can assure you, Cecil is **not** interested in the moniker you’ve given your meat. ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2001, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-you-name-your-private-parts/62141/14 "2001-04-16T15:23:42Z")
The Hot Beef Injector Stanley (as in ‘the power drill’) Darth Router the Tube Steak the Meat ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2001, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-you-name-your-private-parts/62141/15 "2001-04-16T15:33:31Z")
Usually, I just call it “my cock”… but if I’m in much too jocular a mood I can be persuaded to call it “little Matt.” ---
**Author:** ![Totoro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Totoro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Totoro)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2001, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-you-name-your-private-parts/62141/16 "2001-04-16T15:38:22Z")
[sub]I named it tiny…[/sub] But only due to the implied irony. ---
**Author:** ![NPavelka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/edb3f5/32.png) [@NPavelka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NPavelka)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2001, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-you-name-your-private-parts/62141/17 "2001-04-16T15:55:00Z")
Say hello to my special little friend… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tequila\_Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/41988e/32.png) [@Tequila\_Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2001, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-you-name-your-private-parts/62141/18 "2001-04-16T16:44:43Z")
Well, I named my bresticles, Chesty and Lefty. Haven’t named any other body parts, though I may refer to what’s south of the twins as my “kitty” in polite society. ---
**Author:** ![11811](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/9d8465/32.png) [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2001, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-you-name-your-private-parts/62141/19 "2001-04-16T17:12:48Z")
Freebie and the Beans ---
**Author:** ![dcnewsman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d6d6ee/32.png) [@dcnewsman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dcnewsman)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2001, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-you-name-your-private-parts/62141/20 "2001-04-16T19:17:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mercutio \* > \*\*I lovelingly named my penis **Dexter**. \*\* Why Dexter? Because it has a pointed head? 🙂 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-you-name-your-private-parts/62141.md?page=2)