# What did you name your private parts? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 16, 2001, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-you-name-your-private-parts/62141 "2001-04-16T07:21:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Fiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e274bd/32.png) [@Fiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiver)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2001, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-you-name-your-private-parts/62141/21 "2001-04-16T20:10:26Z")
Mine has Multiple Personality Disorder. Therefore, it has two names: Woody Johnson and Les Johnson. ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2001, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-you-name-your-private-parts/62141/22 "2001-04-16T21:57:14Z")
I named my cooch Shelby… Beacause like the car it’s beautiful and anyone who takes it for a drive wants to keep it 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2001, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-you-name-your-private-parts/62141/23 "2001-04-16T23:10:05Z")
Willie, the One-Eyed Wonder Worm ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2001, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-you-name-your-private-parts/62141/24 "2001-04-16T23:17:25Z")
Gertrude…along with Quality and Quantity Actually Gertrude was named by an ex who said that looked prim, proper and innocent, but when I got someone into the bedroom, there was no stopping me. Why Gertrude and not something more reasonable like Martha I’m not sure, but my hooha has been Gertrude ever since. ---
**Author:** ![JimmyNipples](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/eb9ed0/32.png) [@JimmyNipples](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimmyNipples)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-you-name-your-private-parts/62141/25 "2001-04-17T00:59:07Z")
MY wife calls my penis…That ugly dangily thing between your legs. My nutsack is sometimes called the turtle shell. When the bag temp is too cool, it retracts and resembles a turtle shell?? That mean bitch. I’m gonna go home and make her look at my ugly dangily thing until she freekin’ loves it. ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-you-name-your-private-parts/62141/26 "2001-04-17T02:10:13Z")
My friend named his penis Dmitri. I, otoh, have not named my genitals anything other than “kittie.” ---
**Author:** ![donnie\_rotten](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/71e660/32.png) [@donnie\_rotten](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/donnie_rotten)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-you-name-your-private-parts/62141/27 "2001-04-17T23:05:15Z")
Gilligan. You know, my little buddy who gets me into trouble? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2001, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-you-name-your-private-parts/62141/28 "2001-04-18T02:50:43Z")
Bob. ---
**Author:** ![Mnementh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2001, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-you-name-your-private-parts/62141/29 "2001-04-18T03:46:15Z")
To me, he’s just my little man, and the boys. Though I will occasionally refer to him as lil’ Mnem. ---
**Author:** ![Roger\_the\_Shrubber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f05b48/32.png) [@Roger\_the\_Shrubber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roger_the_Shrubber)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2001, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-you-name-your-private-parts/62141/30 "2001-04-18T04:01:49Z")
I call mine Bilbo and the Bagginses (Righty and Lefty Baggins.) Sometimes I’ll call it The (see screenname.) ---
**Author:** ![AwSnappity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a3d4f5/32.png) [@AwSnappity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AwSnappity)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2001, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-you-name-your-private-parts/62141/31 "2001-04-18T04:08:02Z")
When I was little (around 3-5 or so), I used to refer to a penis as a “binky in the butt”. I then proceeded to ask my dad, brother, and every male friend I had if they were owners of the “binky in the butt”. My friend and her boyfriend used to refer to their privates with fast food restaurant names. “I’m so horny…my Burger King is all hard.” “I’m having my period this week, so my Taco Bells are sorta tender.” That sort of thing. ---
**Author:** ![psiekier](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/psiekier/32/116_2.png) [@psiekier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psiekier)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2001, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-you-name-your-private-parts/62141/32 "2001-04-18T14:39:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Icarus \* > **Men > Mister Happy > The Bambino > Wee Willie Winky > Master P > What have you named your favorite body part?** Mine has a name, and I’ll get to that. > [@](#): > > **Women > Do women give nicknames to their body parts? I’m not talking about accepted slang terms here, I mean a real nickname.** Yes, some women do. The fact that some women do is responsible for mine having a name. Let me elaborate: My first semester away at A&M, I met a sweet bunny named Deana. In one of our many sexual conversations, she began to refer to her worky bitz as “Barbara”. I laughed, noting what I thought was an obvious reference to “Barbara Bush”. She maintained that this was not the case. She then asked whether or not mine had a name. I’d never thought about this before, so I said, “well, should it?” “Sure”, she said. “What’s your middle name?” That’s how my pokey became “Andrew”. * * * Pete Long time RGMWer and ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!! ---
**Author:** ![Albert\_Rose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de053/32.png) [@Albert\_Rose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Albert_Rose)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2001, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-you-name-your-private-parts/62141/33 "2001-04-18T23:07:42Z")
I have “The Family Jewels” and “The Little Weasel.” I’ve heard “Franks & Beans” and “Pinky and the Brains.” ---
**Author:** ![Nicklz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/8baadc/32.png) [@Nicklz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nicklz)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2001, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-you-name-your-private-parts/62141/34 "2001-04-19T01:51:36Z")
humm… let me think i have had many girlfriends give it different names and i can’t remember them or most of the girls but thats a different story. I think I usually refer to it as Mr. X, becausehe is extacy to all the ladies. sorry i was in a bragging mood my “friend” just left ---
**Author:** ![Bluesman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/97f17d/32.png) [@Bluesman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bluesman)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2001, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-you-name-your-private-parts/62141/35 "2001-04-19T02:16:45Z")
**John Henry** , the Steel-Drivin’ Man. And I’m better’n any dam’ machine. I can prove it, too, even if it kills me. Hey, I don’t take any of that seriously, so don’t go thinking I’ve OD’d on testosterone. Hey, y’all, check it: THIS IS A HIJACK! NOBODY MOVE! I’ve been married to Lucretia for **FOURTEEN** years today. That lucky bitch. JUST KIDDIN’! I’m a little rambunctious tonight… **I** am the lucky one. Blessed beyond measure of my what my mind can conceive, and what I deserve. I love you, Ileen. (Enough to declare it right **here** , a thread about cutesy names for Doper naughty bits.) ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2001, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-you-name-your-private-parts/62141/36 "2001-04-19T05:25:28Z")
Geee-hosiphat! Lucretia, will you give the poor man some relief? I’m nervous just posting here! ---
**Author:** ![Krispy\_Original](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ec9cab/32.png) [@Krispy\_Original](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krispy_Original)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2001, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-you-name-your-private-parts/62141/37 "2001-04-19T05:30:00Z")
Back in the good old days, me and the Mrs used to refer to my penis as “Moby”…and although it used to get on her nerves, I’d sometimes refer to her breasts as “pear-shaped globes of love”…cracked me up…🙂 ---
**Author:** ![bagdnissan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f9b8f/32.png) [@bagdnissan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bagdnissan)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2001, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-you-name-your-private-parts/62141/38 "2001-04-19T09:24:09Z")
I refer to mine as **The one-eyed trouser snake** …but my girlfriend never learns, she still thinks its name is…well, i dont think its name, or even a word, but more of just a bunch of letters. It sounds something like this…“Uuuuugggghhh,Uuuuugggghhhh” HMM…some people dont listen too well I guess. 😃 Ohh, and if my dad happens to see this, Im sure I will have some questions to answer!! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![cheezit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c57346/32.png) [@cheezit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cheezit)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2001, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-you-name-your-private-parts/62141/39 "2001-04-20T03:07:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bagdnissan \* > > Ohh, and if my dad happens to see this, Im sure I will have some questions to answer!! 😃 \*\* BUSTED!!! So that’s why you never open your bedroom door. :D:D:D:D:D ---
**Author:** ![ghandi5569](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@ghandi5569](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ghandi5569)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2001, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-you-name-your-private-parts/62141/40 "2001-04-20T06:01:27Z")
one night I had to listen to what I refer to as “The Man-Meat Manifesto” the highlights: -wild bologna pony -foot-long, All-American hoagie, with mayonaise -not-so-slim jim -ball park frank–it plumps when you cook it -Subway party hoagie for everyone to enjoy (serves 30 or more) -hot sausage injection -yougurt slinger -pina-colada supersoaker -unbreakable bone of lust -handlebar of love -everlasting pogo-stick -corndog with no stick in the middle -high-in-protein Twinkie -armless, legless Prometheus -spam javelin -ineffable dousing stick–always pointing to the wet spots -lawn dart of love -dipstick which always reads full -butter churner -the unrejectable Happy Meal (with a new toy every time) -the never-ending Pinnochio nose (no lie being told here!) -internal sandpaperer -my own personal Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer guiding Santa with his SACK full of presents for the ladies -two foot tall white chocolate bunny, ears intact -petrified slinky, fully extended -unretractable love harpoon (ARRG, matey!) (You men have a lot more euphamisms for the penis than us women have for the vagina) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-you-name-your-private-parts/62141.md?page=1)