# What Did Your Parents Teach You About Masturbation? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 6, 2009, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-your-parents-teach-you-about-masturbation/516598 "2009-11-06T17:07:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-your-parents-teach-you-about-masturbation/516598/1 "2009-11-06T17:07:20Z")
Inspired by several ongoing threads about this topic going on at the Dope: What did your parents teach you about masturbation? My dad, for whatever reason, didn’t address this subject when he and I had “the talk,” so I was pretty much on my own. I had all the fears that you would expect an uneducated pubescent boy to have about it: that it was abnormal, that it meant I was gay, etc. It was only through a gradual learning process that I accepted the fact (at about age 16) that what I was doing was neither immoral nor dangerous. ---
**Author:** ![JohnnyMac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@JohnnyMac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnnyMac)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-your-parents-teach-you-about-masturbation/516598/2 "2009-11-06T17:12:26Z")
My parents’ view on sex in general was: “There’s nothing wrong with it. It’s fun. You’ll understand why when you’re older”. Masturbation fell under that. And yes, I did understand when I was older :p. ---
**Author:** ![bauble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f6c823/32.png) [@bauble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bauble)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-your-parents-teach-you-about-masturbation/516598/3 "2009-11-06T20:20:36Z")
I was raised in a religion that taught that masturbation/fornication/adultery was second in severity only to murder. Or, as it was explained to me, if you beat a newborn with a bat as hard as you could, repeatedly, but the baby lived…doing that wasn’t as bad as masturbation. Still didn’t stop me - I just figured I was bound for hell. ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-your-parents-teach-you-about-masturbation/516598/4 "2009-11-06T20:28:50Z")
My parents never gave me any kind of “talk”. I checked out It’s Perfectly Normal from the public library on my own when I was 10. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-your-parents-teach-you-about-masturbation/516598/5 "2009-11-06T20:31:51Z")
I’m not sure which thing I should select. They would tell me to stop when I was little (like four) and that it wasn’t something I should do–not privately, just not at all–but they never addressed it when I got older either…like, this is something that people do normally. So…I thought it was evil for so long. But of course I couldn’t stop either! Till I read Judy Blume’s Deenie and realized I was normal. Thank god for Judy Blume. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-your-parents-teach-you-about-masturbation/516598/6 "2009-11-06T20:38:22Z")
What’s this masturbation thing you speak of? I’m pretty sure it doesn’t exist. ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-your-parents-teach-you-about-masturbation/516598/7 "2009-11-06T20:39:24Z")
The sex talk (starting ~age 8): “Don’t fuck unless you want to have babies. You don’t want babies, do you? Then don’t fuck around.” Masturbation never came up one way or the other. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-your-parents-teach-you-about-masturbation/516598/8 "2009-11-06T20:40:20Z")
“Don’t do that, and don’t talk about that, ever.” ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-your-parents-teach-you-about-masturbation/516598/9 "2009-11-06T20:43:14Z")
Never came up. They had both been really Catholic when they were raised, so even the sex talk was suuuuuper uncomfortable for them. Luckily I discovered Dan Savage and his ilk in college. That reminds me, I need a new Hitachi Magic Wand–the current one is literally held together with duck tape. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-your-parents-teach-you-about-masturbation/516598/10 "2009-11-06T20:48:33Z")
They gave me a book on sex/puberty when I was about 11. I had no interest in looking at it until about a year and a half later…when I used the drawings of naked boobs and vaginas to masturbate to. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-your-parents-teach-you-about-masturbation/516598/11 "2009-11-06T20:54:05Z")
> [@Anne\_Neville](#): > > “Don’t do that, and don’t talk about that, ever.” I didn’t even get this far. I remember being maybe 7 or 8 and finding out that touching myself gave myself pleasure, and innocently either did it in front of mom or asked her about it. I don’t remember what I said, exactly, but I do remember the absolutely horrified and disgusted and appalled look on her face. Took me a long, long time to get over that. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Real\_Regency\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@The\_Real\_Regency\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Real_Regency_Elf)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-your-parents-teach-you-about-masturbation/516598/12 "2009-11-06T20:54:32Z")
They were forthcoming about most of the 'birds and the bees" topics, but masturbation was not among them. My school-age friends, on the other hand, generally thought that only freaks masturbated. I myself was neutral on the subject until I really figured out how it all worked when I got older. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-your-parents-teach-you-about-masturbation/516598/13 "2009-11-06T20:55:47Z")
I don’t think the subject ever popped up. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-your-parents-teach-you-about-masturbation/516598/14 "2009-11-06T21:00:45Z")
I’m expecting we’ll have to deal with this pretty soon. Two girls, ages 8 & 6. My wife and I both enjoy the self-manipulation, so I think we will be able to handle (ahem) it smoothly. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-your-parents-teach-you-about-masturbation/516598/15 "2009-11-06T21:04:58Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > I didn’t even get this far. I remember being maybe 7 or 8 and finding out that touching myself gave myself pleasure, and innocently either did it in front of mom or asked her about it. I don’t remember what I said, exactly, but I do remember the absolutely horrified and disgusted and appalled look on her face. > > Took me a long, long time to get over that. Me too. It was awful. I don’t even understand it–I dunno about your 'rents, but mine are pretty progressive and educated and all that. You’d think they’d be aware that kids do that and even though it’s not for public usage, exactly, that it’s a normal thing for kids to do. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-your-parents-teach-you-about-masturbation/516598/16 "2009-11-06T21:12:06Z")
Mixture between “never at all” and “other”, because, at the appropriate time, they handed me a book all about puberty and sex and left me (bookworm that I was and still am) completely to my own devices. The encyclopedia we had in our house was so vague on such matters that I was inferring the wrong things. ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-your-parents-teach-you-about-masturbation/516598/17 "2009-11-06T21:16:29Z")
It was never discussed one way or the other, but they did give me a “Cycle of Life” set of books. Can’t really recall if it was addressed in those either, though. ---
**Author:** ![Small\_Hen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ad7895/32.png) [@Small\_Hen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Small_Hen)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-your-parents-teach-you-about-masturbation/516598/18 "2009-11-06T22:12:33Z")
It was never a subject that anyone talked about in my house. Having heard some of my mother’s replies to sex questions, I doubt she’d have treated the question with any grace. ---
**Author:** ![Stauderhorse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Stauderhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stauderhorse)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-your-parents-teach-you-about-masturbation/516598/19 "2009-11-06T22:47:15Z")
They never discussed it when I was younger. Later on, when I told my mom that I did it regularly, there was an “ew, that’s so gross” reaction. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-your-parents-teach-you-about-masturbation/516598/20 "2009-11-06T23:17:30Z")
You know, if you look at the view poll results graph, it kind of looks like it needs to. **HeyHomie** , did you set the poll up expecting that? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-your-parents-teach-you-about-masturbation/516598.md?page=2)