# What Did Your Parents Teach You About Masturbation? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 6, 2009, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-your-parents-teach-you-about-masturbation/516598 "2009-11-06T17:07:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-your-parents-teach-you-about-masturbation/516598/21 "2009-11-06T23:31:50Z")
Neither one ever mentioned it to me. ---
**Author:** ![Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimmy_Gibbler)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-your-parents-teach-you-about-masturbation/516598/22 "2009-11-06T23:34:46Z")
My father is a Freudian psychoanalyst. I knew the theoretical rudiments of the Oedipal complex and castration anxiety by the time I was in fifth grade. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-your-parents-teach-you-about-masturbation/516598/23 "2009-11-06T23:39:52Z")
In my household, only one opinion was allowed: my mother’s. And she treated masturbation and _all_ things sexual the same way she treated everything else she found distasteful and/or uncomfortable: she pretended they didn’t exist. I figured out the kinds of things _not_ to ask her about _long_ before I figured out that certain self-touching was pleasurable! Me, on the other hand, as a mother? All my girls learned, at an early age, that it’s perfectly natural for those things to feel good. But it’s like using the bathroom: it’s something you do in private. ---
**Author:** ![thirdwarning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecccb3/32.png) [@thirdwarning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdwarning)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-your-parents-teach-you-about-masturbation/516598/24 "2009-11-06T23:48:40Z")
You’re kidding, right? When I was about 10 my mother took me into her bedroom (the only place in the house where there was any real privacy) handed me the Mothercraft book open to the appropriate page for what I absolutely had to know, told me to read it, and then asked if I had any questions. That and the day in fifth grade at school when they separated the boys and the girls so we could each have our own lesson was the extent of my sex education. I think if I had even known enough to ask about such a thing the shock waves would have been palpable. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-your-parents-teach-you-about-masturbation/516598/25 "2009-11-06T23:51:44Z")
They didn’t teach me anything at all about masturbation, because I never asked (eww!) and the subject never came up. Really, do people go to their parents and say, “Teach me about masturbation??” So my poll answer was “Other”: **I** preferred not to discuss it at all. If I **had** brought the subject up, I suspect, but don’t know, that their attitude would have been "It’s perfectly natural and normal, and nothing to be ashamed of. " Though it might have been, “It’s a bad habit and kinda gross, like picking your nose or popping your zits, and if you do it, no big deal, but we don’t want to know about it.” ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-your-parents-teach-you-about-masturbation/516598/26 "2009-11-06T23:56:54Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > You know, if you look at the view poll results graph, it kind of looks like it needs to. **HeyHomie** , did you set the poll up expecting that? I’m not sure I understand your question, but no, I did not expect these results. I expected the “it’s perfectly normal, nothing to be ashamed of” option to be the most popular. ---
**Author:** ![BleizDu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9dc877/32.png) [@BleizDu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BleizDu)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2009, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-your-parents-teach-you-about-masturbation/516598/27 "2009-11-07T00:05:06Z")
I’ve picked “they prefered not to discuss it” but it’s simply that it never came up. I had a quick talk about menstruations and how internal female organs work, with the aid of a book (book I had already read anyway), before I got my first period, but we never talked about sex. ---
**Author:** ![Erdosain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/erdosain/32/7284_2.png) [@Erdosain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erdosain)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2009, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-your-parents-teach-you-about-masturbation/516598/28 "2009-11-07T00:08:35Z")
I was raised Mormon, so I got the whole “worst sin next to murder” spiel. Worse still, we were interviewed every year by the Bishop or so and expected to ‘fess up if we were, ahem, jerkin’ the gherkin. So what happens if your father is the Bishop? You get to discuss your masturbation habits with your dad! Awful, awful, awful. The constant guilt trip really fucked with my teenager brain. I also was told by a religion teacher that masturbation would lead to homosexuality. I do not recommend this method of raising your kids. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2009, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-your-parents-teach-you-about-masturbation/516598/29 "2009-11-07T00:13:47Z")
> [@HeyHomie](#): > > I’m not sure I understand your question, but no, I did not expect these results. I expected the “it’s perfectly normal, nothing to be ashamed of” option to be the most popular. Those people are too busy masturbating to take the poll. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Il_Palazzo)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2009, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-your-parents-teach-you-about-masturbation/516598/30 "2009-11-07T00:38:37Z")
> [@alphaboi867](#): > > My parents never gave me any kind of “talk”. I checked out It’s Perfectly Normal from the public library on my own when I was 10. I’m in pretty much the same boat. My parents gave me the most basic version of “the talk” possible (basically a quick run down of where babies come from with no peripheral discussion) when I was about nine and I checked out a library book (the same one, I think) for more detail. ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2009, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-your-parents-teach-you-about-masturbation/516598/31 "2009-11-07T05:19:31Z")
My mother never discussed it with me. Looking back, I think it was a pretty damn good approach 😃 I’d have died if she’d said anything. ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2009, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-your-parents-teach-you-about-masturbation/516598/32 "2009-11-07T06:25:02Z")
Never had any form of “the talk” about anything sexual ever. “Where do babies come from?” -me at age 5-6 “Here’s a dictionary- look it up” Which is great- except it was a FREAKING DICTIONARY! I didn’t know what the hell words to look up! Better though than a kid we used to tease in high school when we found out for him (and his 3 brothers) it was rumored that when they had the “talk”- their parents SHOWED them. No idea if it was true or not, but he would always get teased about that- apparently his parents would proceed to explain sex to whichever brother was at that age, and then demonstrate in front of them. I’m REALLY hoping that was just one of those school rumor sorta things, but he never denied it and always just got really embarrassed to talk about it. Though his older brother always said it was true. Heh. Poor kid. -\_- ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2009, 8:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-your-parents-teach-you-about-masturbation/516598/33 "2009-11-07T08:40:49Z")
My dad caught me having a swift one off the wrist when I was about 13. He just shrugged, walked out the room and then burst into howls of hysterical laughter. I never did get to finish that one off ---
**Author:** ![typoink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecb155/32.png) [@typoink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/typoink)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2009, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-your-parents-teach-you-about-masturbation/516598/34 "2009-11-08T17:47:36Z")
Mixed messages – I started masturbating as a very young kid (before I knew it was wrong) and my mother definitely threw a few puritan scare tactics at me. Didn’t make me stop, but DID make me a lot more discrete, which was probably her goal. When I was a teenager, she made a few VERY VERY oblique references to “it” being “okay.” ---
**Author:** ![Serenata67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/serenata67/32/10646_2.png) [@Serenata67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serenata67)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2009, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-your-parents-teach-you-about-masturbation/516598/35 "2009-11-08T18:33:33Z")
My parents didn’t teach me anything directly… but I did find my dad’s porn and I learned a lot from that… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![SiXSwordS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@SiXSwordS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SiXSwordS)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2009, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-your-parents-teach-you-about-masturbation/516598/36 "2009-11-08T18:49:29Z")
“The Talk” for me consisted of the question, “You know where to get condoms, right?” I didn’t, but I said I did. Masturbation was not mentioned then or at any other time… of course, there was the time I was told I could no longer watch SNL because of the “buzzing off” sketch. I argued that I should be able to watch because I didn’t even know what that was! Further proof that I wasn’t born with the rhetoric gene. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2009, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-your-parents-teach-you-about-masturbation/516598/37 "2009-11-09T14:37:47Z")
> [@Stauderhorse](#): > > They never discussed it when I was younger. Later on, **when I told my mom that I did it regularly** , there was an “ew, that’s so gross” reaction. Wow. That took some balls. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2009, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-your-parents-teach-you-about-masturbation/516598/38 "2009-11-09T14:42:58Z")
> [@Stauderhorse](#): > > They never discussed it when I was younger. Later on, when I told my mom that I did it regularly, there was an “ew, that’s so gross” reaction. Er, why did you tell your parents that? I don’t see anything wrong with it but I don’t want anyone I’m related to telling me they masturbate! ---
**Author:** ![Fetchund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b2d939/32.png) [@Fetchund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fetchund)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2009, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-your-parents-teach-you-about-masturbation/516598/39 "2009-11-09T15:02:31Z")
I seem to recall getting some sort of pamphlet at school (Catholic) that said to touch yourself in your “private parts” was a sin, and not to do it. I think I was young enough that I hadn’t even explored that idea. My parents never mentioned it, and I never had the “sex talk” with either of them either. My 8th grade had a Sex Ed class, though, which was pretty thorough, but still said it was not to be done. Yeah. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2009, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-your-parents-teach-you-about-masturbation/516598/40 "2009-11-09T17:07:06Z")
How about “never said a single word about the subject”? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-your-parents-teach-you-about-masturbation/516598.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-did-your-parents-teach-you-about-masturbation/516598.md?page=3)