# What do Buddhists mean by detachment? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 5, 2019, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-buddhists-mean-by-detachment/836548 "2019-07-05T02:41:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Machinaforce](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/aeb1de/32.png) [@Machinaforce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machinaforce)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2019, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-buddhists-mean-by-detachment/836548/1 "2019-07-05T02:41:46Z")
I know that it doesn’t mean to literally “throw away” things or people (unlike some meditation people), but that it’s more nuanced than that. Like it’s learning to let things be and not expect so much? I know the monk I spoke to years ago said that I was too young to get it, but that didn’t really help me. I know it was the big thing that scared me the most about Buddhism. ---
**Author:** ![CaptainSnazzy7402](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/captainsnazzy7402/32/57_2.png) [@CaptainSnazzy7402](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaptainSnazzy7402)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2019, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-buddhists-mean-by-detachment/836548/2 "2019-07-05T02:56:13Z")
All in all, detachment is all about parting with the things/people you do not need in your life. For example, cell phone and a friend you haven’t talked to since middle school at age 35. Both are not “important” in the sense that their importance has passed you by or not required to function. At least that’s my interpretation of the matter. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2019, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-buddhists-mean-by-detachment/836548/3 "2019-07-05T03:04:39Z")
> [@CaptainSnazzy7402](#): > > All in all, detachment is all about parting with the things/people you do not need in your life. I think “detachment” in the Buddhist sense is actually more about rethinking the whole concept of “need”. Detachment is not letting **anything** seem so important to you that its absence can destroy your serenity and acceptance. Not just weeding out your “unimportant” attachments from your “important” ones. ---
**Author:** ![Machinaforce](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/aeb1de/32.png) [@Machinaforce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machinaforce)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2019, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-buddhists-mean-by-detachment/836548/4 "2019-07-05T03:27:24Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > I think “detachment” in the Buddhist sense is actually more about rethinking the whole concept of “need”. Detachment is not letting **anything** seem so important to you that its absence can destroy your serenity and acceptance. Not just weeding out your “unimportant” attachments from your “important” ones. That’s more like what I found around a few sites. IT’s not about being some unfeeling robot,but more like appreciating things while they are around because you know that they won’t be, and knowing that they are transient puts you at peace because you don’t try to make them last any longer than they do. Like clinging to a relationship or a image that you have of your parent rather then who they are (which is a dynamic human than changes). From what I gather it’s coming to terms with the fact that things change. ---
**Author:** ![DPRK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4491bb/32.png) [@DPRK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DPRK)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2019, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-buddhists-mean-by-detachment/836548/5 "2019-07-06T13:53:35Z")
Remember that story, “El Zahir”? Detachment is the exact opposite of that.