# What do "Cool" People talk about ?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-cool-people-talk-about/225075
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [January 18, 2004, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-cool-people-talk-about/225075 "2004-01-18T07:17:57Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 3
### Author:  [@Blown\_Injected](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blown_Injected)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2004, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-cool-people-talk-about/225075/41 "2004-01-25T15:43:02Z")
Girls, cars, and guns
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### Author:  [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2004, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-cool-people-talk-about/225075/42 "2004-01-25T21:10:58Z")
I can’t teach you how to talk like a cool person. That involves sidling up to conversations and keeping your mouth shut until an opportunity to say something awesomely funny presents itself.
HOWEVER:
Geeks have lots of dress shirts. Well, I did, and do. I’ve found the quickest shortcut to at least looking passably cool is to put on an oxford or banded-collar shirt, and roll up the sleeves. Put on some baggy pants (not too baggy- only trailer park types wear Jncos these days!) and a pair of Skechers (may involve investing in Skechers). Don’t worry about what color or style of Skechers. Careful observation of other Skechers’-wearers has established that all Skechers are cool with all clothing. Then… here’s the tricky part- cut your ponytail/bowl/wanted-to-look-like-hugh-grant-because-you-overheard-women-talking-about-him-do. Cut it short. Not buzzed short, because Marines _aren’t_ cool. Except during wartime. This one will be over shortly, with luck. Then get some gel, and spike your hair. Doesn’t matter how old you are; this is what ALL the cool kids do. Spiking just the front provides maximum cool, but if you have a funny shaped head, as nerds are wont to, spike it all.
Now you’re ready to talk like a Cool Person. The secret is _looking_ like one will make you _sound_ like one. Unless you mention D&D. Or Star Trek.
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### Author:  [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2004, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-cool-people-talk-about/225075/43 "2004-01-25T21:12:21Z")
> [@Blown & Injected](#):
>
> Girls, cars, and guns
But never all three at the same time. Only _criminals_ do that.
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### Author:  [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2004, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-cool-people-talk-about/225075/44 "2004-01-25T23:30:50Z")
> [@Daikona](#):
>
> The “cool” kids as I remember them from high school and/or college were never particularly well behaved. Especially in college. They ran around screaming drunk at 3 am, puked on other people’s belongings, were rude to anyone not quite cool enough, and sat around mocking people at the top of their lungs.
>
> That strikes me as being a lot more embarrassing public behavior than when a few of my friends and I sat and talked about D&D in normal indoor speaking voices.
Running around screaming drunk at 3:00am is a lot more fun than battling orcs and dragons with 69 sided die. You’ll have plenty of time to “speak in normal indor voices” and be “well behaved” once you’re in your thirties.
I guess nerds don’t think that way though. There was one time my fraternity ran out of ice for a party so a couple of us went to the “nerd” dorm (you actually had to apply for it). A couple of nerds caught us emptying the ice machine into a garbage bag and asked us if “we were playing a practical joke on their RA”. The idea never occured to them that it might be for a party. “Yeah…we are playing a practical joke on your RA. We are going to steal all the ice from his floor. Use it for a party at our fraternity house. And then not invite him.”
Some more things cool people talk about:
Amusing anecdotes - You and your cool friends should have a bunch of stories of sharied cool experiences. ie that time in HS we escaped the police by driving down railroad tracks, that time me and a friend drank a bottle of Wild Turkey we found in our shore house, etc
Inside jokes - You should have some jokes that only you and your friends understand - instantly identifying who is on the “inside” and “outside” of your group
Cool slang - you should utilize a degree slang and catch phrases and it should effortlessly enter into regular speach patterms
Girls - pretty much what identifies you as a group of cool guys instead of just some guys acting goofy is having girls hook up with you. Now the dork attitude seems to be that one should wait for the “right girl” and not just go around hooking up randomly. Of course, it’s a little hard to land the right girl if she thinks you’re a troglodyte.
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### Author:  [@Priam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Priam)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2004, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-cool-people-talk-about/225075/45 "2004-01-25T23:57:54Z")
[QUOTE=msmith537]
blah blah blah
[QUOTE]
Ahh right! Being cool is being a belittling asshole. Got it now, thanks for such a concise definition.
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### Author:  [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)
#### Post date: [January 26, 2004, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-cool-people-talk-about/225075/46 "2004-01-26T02:52:57Z")
Dearest **msmith537** ,
I believe you’re confusing your “cool” _cough_bullshit!_cough_ friends with the idiots that the _really_ cool people are grateful for. They’re grateful for you because you make anyone with an _ounce_ of maturity look like Don fucking Juan.
:wally
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### Author:  [@Daikona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daikona)
#### Post date: [January 26, 2004, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-cool-people-talk-about/225075/47 "2004-01-26T05:13:50Z")
I’m definitely going to second lezlers.
What msmith is describing as coolness is kind of universally accepted outside of drunken fratboy circles as acting stupid. But hey, if you want to mock people who behave in non-idiotic manners, go ahead. It just means it takes even less time to notice what a flaming asshole someone is when they do that.
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### Author:  [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)
#### Post date: [January 26, 2004, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-cool-people-talk-about/225075/48 "2004-01-26T15:38:21Z")
> [@burundi](#):
>
> I pick my friends not on how cool or geeky they are, but on whether they’re interesting, clever, kind and fun. I also prefer that my friends have at least rudimentary social graces.
But that _is_ what makes people cool! I never figured the meanies to be cool. Just mean.
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### Author:  [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)
#### Post date: [January 26, 2004, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-cool-people-talk-about/225075/49 "2004-01-26T15:55:21Z")
> [@Daikona](#):
>
> I’m definitely going to second lezlers.
>
> What msmith is describing as coolness is kind of universally accepted outside of drunken fratboy circles as acting stupid. But hey, if you want to mock people who behave in non-idiotic manners, go ahead. It just means it takes even less time to notice what a flaming asshole someone is when they do that.
Well, I find it interesting that the “geeks” and the “nerds” are the first ones to resort to namecalling and personal attacks (I guess it comes from having poor social skills). People like you might think I’m an asshole but I’m not the one standing in line outside of your dorm room hopeing to get into your party. I’m not the one who’s pissed off because the D&D kids won’t talk to me. And I’m not the one worried about the “cool kids” picking on me.
lezlers - I think you are confusing _cough_ _cough_ being a shy or introverted with maturity. “Cool” people take risks socially. They occassionally act the buffoon or approach a girl who’s far out of their league or drink a little too much or get a little too loud. What’s more appealing to a group of girls? Five guys having a good time drinking, dancing and carrying on or five guys standing around, sheepishly looking into their beers?
Really cool people (really what we in the adult world call ‘mature’ and ‘sophisticated’) know when it’s approriate to have fun and when it’s time to be serious. They know where that line is between ‘edgie’ and ‘inappropriate’.
I guess if I’m such an asshole, maybe experts like Don Juan here should tell me what “real cool” people do?
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### Author:  [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)
#### Post date: [January 26, 2004, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-cool-people-talk-about/225075/50 "2004-01-26T20:05:13Z")
> [@msmith537](#):
>
> Stupid humor that isn’t funny. Like “Screetch” from Saved by the Bell.
Don’t know this Screetch whereof you speak, but I can imagine the sort of things a character with that name would say.
Still, groups of friends often do have in-jokes that are remarkably stupid, but important to them, partly because it’s part of the currency of group membership, and partly because the joke ends up being funny–because of how unfunny it is in the first place.
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### Author:  [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)
#### Post date: [January 26, 2004, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-cool-people-talk-about/225075/51 "2004-01-26T20:52:58Z")
> [@msmith537](#):
>
> People like you might think I’m an asshole but I’m not the one standing in line outside of your dorm room hopeing to get into your party. I’m not the one who’s pissed off because the D&D kids won’t talk to me. And I’m not the one worried about the “cool kids” picking on me.
Neither are they. By and large, Dopers are nice, self-assured people. You, on the other hand, are boorish, snide, deliberately mean, and betray your ignorance of the many facets of geekdom by your pitiful attempts at insults after a few people exposed you for who you are: a jerk. (I’d say something worse, but s/he really isn’t worth it.)
> [@msmith537](#):
>
> Really cool people (really what we in the adult world call ‘mature’ and ‘sophisticated’) know when it’s appropriate to have fun and when it’s time to be serious. They know where that line is between ‘edgie’ and ‘inappropriate’.
You have shown yourself by your words not to be one of those people.
> [@msmith537](#):
>
> I guess if I’m such an asshole, maybe experts like Don Juan here should tell me what “real cool” people do?
Please tell me I got whooshed here and you do actually know who Don Juan is.
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### Author:  [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)
#### Post date: [January 26, 2004, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-cool-people-talk-about/225075/52 "2004-01-26T22:05:51Z")
> [@dwalin](#):
>
> Neither are they. By and large, Dopers are nice, self-assured people. You, on the other hand, are boorish, snide, deliberately mean, and betray your ignorance of the many facets of geekdom by your pitiful attempts at insults after a few people exposed you for who you are: a jerk. (I’d say something worse, but s/he really isn’t worth it.)
If you like, we can go to the Pit and I can give you your verbal wedgies there. Show me in any of my posts where I singled out anyone with insults (“pitiful” or otherwise) or abuse, which, as you must know (being the true blue Doper that you are) are not permitted in this forum.
You’re right. I am ignorant of most of the facets of “geek culture”. I do not strive to be cliqueish or identified as a social outcast. I try not to be bitter and resentful of people who are better looking, weathier or “cooler” than myself.
> [@dwalin](#):
>
> Please tell me I got whooshed here and you do actually know who Don Juan is.
lezlers thinks that by comparison to “drunk jock frat guys” he is Don Juan, the literary playa’. I asked him to explain his Don Juan studliness. What part of my post did you not comprehend?
> [@Spectre of Pithecanthropus](#):
>
> Don’t know this Screetch whereof you speak, but I can imagine the sort of things a character with that name would say.
He’s a character from Saved by the Bell. Basically, the show was a kind of a Beverly Hills 90210 Light that used to be on in the afternoons. IIRC, there were 6 main characters - a preppy guy, jock guy, geek guy, liberal girl (pre Showgirls Elizabeth Berkley), cheerleader girl, and popular girl (pre 90210 Tiffany Amber Thiesien). Screetch was the geek guy. It was never explained what he had on the others that they were forced to hang out with him.
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### Author:  [@Buran](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buran)
#### Post date: [January 26, 2004, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-cool-people-talk-about/225075/53 "2004-01-26T22:49:08Z")
What is the fascination with putting people into these social brackets and cliques anyway? Just take everyone as they come and you’ll meet, get to know, and possibly even befriend a wider variety of interesting people than sticking “to your own kind”
Msmith, why are people who criticse you automatically “geeks” or “nerds”, it isn’t one or the other.
Not particularly cool or nerdish myself, I’m just a normal person and I like it that way.
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### Author:  [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)
#### Post date: [January 26, 2004, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-cool-people-talk-about/225075/54 "2004-01-26T23:13:44Z")
> [@msmith537](#):
>
> He’s a character from Saved by the Bell. Basically, the show was a kind of a Beverly Hills 90210 Light that used to be on in the afternoons. IIRC, there were 6 main characters - a preppy guy, jock guy, geek guy, liberal girl (pre Showgirls Elizabeth Berkley), cheerleader girl, and popular girl (pre 90210 Tiffany Amber Thiesien). Screetch was the geek guy. It was never explained what he had on the others that they were forced to hang out with him.
Yes, I gathered from your earlier reference that Screetch was a character in _Saved By The Bell_, and further that he was the geek guy. I never saw the show so I can’t speculate as to why the others were forced to hang out with him, but on a dare I would say that perhaps the characters weren’t so exacting as you.
Or maybe he just knew where the body was buried…
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### Author:  [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)
#### Post date: [January 26, 2004, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-cool-people-talk-about/225075/55 "2004-01-26T23:38:18Z")
> [@Midwinter](#):
>
> Msmith, why are people who criticse you automatically “geeks” or “nerds”, it isn’t one or the other.
I didn’t mean to imply that was the case. Although I suppose that by definition, anyone who irritates me is a dork and people I like are cool, but that’s subjective.
I thought we were discussing extreme ends of the social specrum here. I suspect that most people are like you or I, neither completely “nerd” or “cool”. I hang out with a lot of different types of people and one thing I noticed in college was that everyone, (cool or dork) pretty much does the same thing-hang out with their friends, drink, crack jokes and try to hook up.
One of my fraternity brothers was always worried that we weren’t one of the “cool” houses (IOW, one of the 30 “regular people” houses instead of the 5 billionare/surfer/wrestler houses). I’m like, "dude, we went to an engineering/business school for rich white kids, not the Kid Rock Acadamy or Dr Dre University (or whoever the kids think is cool these days). It’s like arguing who’s cooler, Brandon Walsh or that Baby Huey kid on the O.C.
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### Author:  [@Buran](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buran)
#### Post date: [January 27, 2004, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-cool-people-talk-about/225075/56 "2004-01-27T00:24:23Z")
I see, that makes things clearer.
(still don’t get that whole fraternity/soriority college thing though, don’t have them in Yorrup)
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### Author:  [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)
#### Post date: [January 27, 2004, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-cool-people-talk-about/225075/57 "2004-01-27T00:57:38Z")
> [@Midwinter](#):
>
> I see, that makes things clearer.
>
> (still don’t get that whole fraternity/soriority college thing though, don’t have them in Yorrup)
The history of the (social) fraternity in one easy paragraph. Note that there are also business, professional, and race-oriented fraternities too, but they have a different history.
In the early to mid-1800s, male American college students in groups of various sizes decided for varying reasons that they wanted to form secret societies. A few began as literary organizations and mushroomed, but for the most part these students decided that the Greeks of old had various philosophical beliefs and practices which were worth emulating. They decided the best way to go about this was to form secret societies which emphasised a few of these beliefs and practices as their core. Over the course of the next century, the groups became less the edificant societies and more ‘social clubs’. Traditions like hazing became more prevalent, especially after World War II, when servicemen entering colleges brought with them the military hazing practices they’d become accustomed to. The modern fraternity at its best represents a sort of extended family grouping, replacing the contact lost by students at universities far from their homes. At worst, it represents a formalized old-boy network. Either way, joining one doesn’t automatically make you a cool kid; fraternities, like any other group, have their own hierarchies, and for every “cool” fraternity for which membership is a virtual guarantee of membership among the university’s elite, there is a group of nerdy kids who band together and start their own group. They aren’t good or bad in and of themselves- the membership determines whether or not they’ll be assholes.
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### Author:  [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)
#### Post date: [January 27, 2004, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-cool-people-talk-about/225075/58 "2004-01-27T00:59:28Z")
> [@msmith537](#):
>
> lezlers thinks that by comparison to “drunk jock frat guys” he is Don Juan, the literary playa’. I asked him to explain his Don Juan studliness. What part of my post did you not comprehend?
First off, I’m a _she_, and you’ve obviously completely missed the point of my post. Speaking as a female, the sort of drunken frat guy behavior you’ve described as being “cool” would cause myself, and most every other woman I know, to run for the hills. That stuff was cute in high school and maybe the first couple years of college. Once you hit your mid to late twenties: not so much. At that point, women are looking for _men_, not drunken frat boys. Forgive me if you’re younger, but I thought you were in your late twenties or so. If that is the case, then yes, I believe you’d fit much more squarely in the “social misfit” camp than the cool camp you claim to be a part of.
The main part of your post that I thought screamed “_so_ not cool” was the cliquishness you described. Truly cool people do not seek to exclude. Exclusion is a sign of insecurity. Insecure people are _not_ cool. Wannabe cool people are insecure because they seek to hoist themselves up on the backs of those they exclude. By mocking those who aren’t like you, you’re secretely praying you’ll not be mocked. Truly cool people spend not a moment worrying about such petty things. By admitting that you seek to exclude people and mock those not like yourself, you admitted to being not cool at all, merely “wannabe cool.”
Not something I’d be bragging about, buddy.
Now, if you were simply describing the high school stereotype of cool, then you were right on the money. I’m simply pointing out that as people mature, that definition is no longer applicable. Because it’s not truly cool. It’s childish and really quite sad.
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### Author:  [@Daikona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daikona)
#### Post date: [January 27, 2004, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-cool-people-talk-about/225075/59 "2004-01-27T08:10:50Z")
> [@lezlers](#):
>
> The main part of your post that I thought screamed “_so_ not cool” was the cliquishness you described. Truly cool people do not seek to exclude. Exclusion is a sign of insecurity. Insecure people are _not_ cool. Wannabe cool people are insecure because they seek to hoist themselves up on the backs of those they exclude. By mocking those who aren’t like you, you’re secretely praying you’ll not be mocked. Truly cool people spend not a moment worrying about such petty things. By admitting that you seek to exclude people and mock those not like yourself, you admitted to being not cool at all, merely “wannabe cool.”
>
> Not something I’d be bragging about, buddy.
Lezlers, you said it a lot better. I offer you applause, and this cookie my sister made. They’re very good.
msmith, I don’t think there’s any risk of the behavior you’redescribing as “cool” ever being confused with “mature” and “sophisticated”. Unless you use a different definition of the words than the rest of the world, screaming frat boys are kind of by definition neither.
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### Author:  [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)
#### Post date: [January 27, 2004, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-cool-people-talk-about/225075/60 "2004-01-27T16:24:35Z")
> [@lezlers](#):
>
> First off, I’m a _she_, and you’ve obviously completely missed the point of my post. Speaking as a female, the sort of drunken frat guy behavior you’ve described as being “cool” would cause myself, and most every other woman I know, to run for the hills.
My…now who’s being exclusionary? I am curious as to what these women look like, what their husbands/S.Os do and how they behave.
What do you consider “drunken frat guy” behavior? Do you stereotype every fraternity guys as a loud, fat, violent, drunk? If you see a group of guys in a bar laughing and having a good time, do you view them as people having a good time or as a bunch of obnoxious assholes?
How do you reconcile the fact that a majority of fraternity men from good schools go on to good careers in nearly every profession?
> [@lezlers](#):
>
> That stuff was cute in high school and maybe the first couple years of college. Once you hit your mid to late twenties: not so much. At that point, women are looking for _men_, not drunken frat boys. Forgive me if you’re younger, but I thought you were in your late twenties or so. If that is the case, then yes, I believe you’d fit much more squarely in the “social misfit” camp than the cool camp you claim to be a part of.
I thought we were talking about high school and college. At 31 (my age) coolness is now more about portraying success and sophistication. It’s about knowing where the good restaurants are or hanging out in lounges and bars that cator to people with jobs, not drunken NYU students (although they can still be fun in small doses). It’s about having a successful career and stable relationships. I’m not 21 anymore where coolness was defined by wearing a baseball cap, getting your hands on a keg and hanging out with drunk chicks.
I guess that’s why guys get more desireable as they get older in college and girls less so.
> [@lezlers](#):
>
> The main part of your post that I thought screamed “_so_ not cool” was the cliquishness you described. Truly cool people do not seek to exclude. Exclusion is a sign of insecurity. Insecure people are _not_ cool. Wannabe cool people are insecure because they seek to hoist themselves up on the backs of those they exclude. By mocking those who aren’t like you, you’re secretely praying you’ll not be mocked. Truly cool people spend not a moment worrying about such petty things. By admitting that you seek to exclude people and mock those not like yourself, you admitted to being not cool at all, merely “wannabe cool.”
“They mock you because they are insecure” is simplistic at best. Most people are insecure about something, even cool people. In fact, the “cooler” you are, the more pressure there is to maintain your cool persona. What we are really ralking about when we say “coolness” is an ability to fit in socially. We don’t call it coolness as an adult, but we still seek to oastracize from our social circle people who do conform to our behavioral standards.
Midwinter - dutchboy208 hit the nail on the head. While I was in a fraternity in college and am still close with many of my fraternity brothers (some I could care less about), I am not a huge fan of the fraternity system. I found that in my school, since it was such a Greek campus, it created a lot of pressure for freshmen. Basically, from day one, you are forced to start thinking about which house to join and how it will affect your social life for the next four years. It tended to split up freshmen halls along divisions between Greek and nonGreek (GDIs) and by who was in which fraternity. Once you are in a house, it can be a lot of fun though. So while freshmen year sucked, the rest of my college experience was pretty fun. Also, after awhile, the whole fraternity thing gets old and you start hanging out with other people. People visit each others houses pretty regularly, parties are open and there’s a big off-campus scene so it’s not exactly like “join a house or have no life”.
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