# What do guys say to girls when they walk up to them on a night out? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 1, 2011, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-guys-say-to-girls-when-they-walk-up-to-them-on-a-night-out/601511 "2011-11-01T16:27:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2011, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-guys-say-to-girls-when-they-walk-up-to-them-on-a-night-out/601511/21 "2011-11-01T19:13:11Z")
> [@Philster](#): > > Only if I had established significant eye contact would I approach a girl/women. When I did, I would say something honest, such as “I couldn’t leave here tonight without trying to meet you and talk to you”, and I would leave in some sort of honest disclaimer such as, “And it’s okay if you have no interest, but I’d be kicking myself if I didn’t try” > > Coy, honest smiles mixed in with vulnerability, but laden with confidence (to even come over and be honest). > > I think the all-time best play was to wait til the night was ending, or until she appeared to be leaving. If significant eye contact was made, she’d would leave anticipating some sort of regret that I didn’t come over, which I’d quickly relieve by getting to her as she was leaving or actually outside. Sort of forced some spontaneity on both parties, too – because, bam!, time to act! > > First, it made the meeting short and closed-ended, but offered some sort of relief and satisfaction. The girl wasn’t faced with hours ahead in this club/whatever with me. Even if she was very interested, waiting until about the end or her exit removed 99% of whatever awkwardness might lie ahead. > > I left no regrets in my single days. While I kind of get the overall tactic (and it just might work!), the idea making a move after lots of eye contact _once she’s already outside_ strikes me as incredibly creepy. This would also depend on the nature of the neighbourhood/outdoor space, since not all bars and clubs are on really busy roads - some women might find this to be rather threatening. I think the line between “cute, finally making a move and respectful of minimizing awkwardness” and “dude took all night to finally come over, followed me outside and is now saying he wants to get to know me…stalkerish” is a fine line indeed. I think someone who can’t figure out how to get past “Hi” in a conversation should NOT be trying this technique. It’s not for amateurs! 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2011, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-guys-say-to-girls-when-they-walk-up-to-them-on-a-night-out/601511/22 "2011-11-01T19:25:56Z")
> [@Covered\_In\_Bees](#): > > There’s always the tried and true: “Wanna fuck?” Nine times out of ten, you get slapped in the face. But that tenth time? Magic. ---
**Author:** ![Lukeinva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lukeinva/32/17872_2.png) [@Lukeinva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lukeinva)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2011, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-guys-say-to-girls-when-they-walk-up-to-them-on-a-night-out/601511/23 "2011-11-01T19:39:51Z")
> [@Laudenum](#): > > I rarely go to clubs (though I am beginning to go to them quite frequently) and most girls I know I’ve known through college/politics/friends etc. > > I was in a club last week and I was wondering what guys say when they randomly start talking to a girl out of nowhere? > I imagine it’s starts with Hi :rolleyes: but I was trying to figure out what came next. If she is _the one_… Start with “Hi, how are you?!” Then extend your hand and introduce yourself. Her natural response will be to introduce herself. Whatever her name is say, “oh what a nice name!” And then let the conversation flow… ask her about herself .. make small jokes (but keep them clean) and ask her questions that are not Yes or No answers. Engage her answers… soon she will be asking you questions. Above all be yourself and don’t be a creeper. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2011, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-guys-say-to-girls-when-they-walk-up-to-them-on-a-night-out/601511/24 "2011-11-01T19:48:48Z")
It’s been a \*long \*time since I went out nightclubbing–I seem to remember a young man asking me, “Have they caught President Lincoln’s assassin yet?” ---
**Author:** ![Bearflag70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Bearflag70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bearflag70)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2011, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-guys-say-to-girls-when-they-walk-up-to-them-on-a-night-out/601511/25 "2011-11-01T19:48:58Z")
> [@Dogzilla](#): > > This is a serious OP, right? > > 1. Start with Hello. > 2. Tell the other person your name. > 3. Ask what her name is. > > Suggested innocuous questions: > Where are you from? > Do you work? What do you do for a living? > Are you a student? Where do you go to school? What are you majoring in? Remember to await her answer to each question before asking the next question. ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2011, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-guys-say-to-girls-when-they-walk-up-to-them-on-a-night-out/601511/26 "2011-11-01T19:50:53Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#): > > Nine times out of ten, you get slapped in the face. But that tenth time? Magic. This reminds me, that pepper spray and mace aren’t so intimidating once you get use to them. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Capitaine\_Zombie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e95f7d/32.png) [@Capitaine\_Zombie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capitaine_Zombie)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2011, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-guys-say-to-girls-when-they-walk-up-to-them-on-a-night-out/601511/27 "2011-11-01T19:57:53Z")
> [@Laudenum](#): > > What do guys say to girls when they walk up to them on a night out? “How much ?” (accompanied by the sound of a brand new twenty dollars bill) ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2011, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-guys-say-to-girls-when-they-walk-up-to-them-on-a-night-out/601511/28 "2011-11-01T19:59:05Z")
> [@Covered\_In\_Bees](#): > > There’s always the tried and true: “Wanna fuck?” She: WHAT?! You: Looks like snow. (finishing the joke in post #3) ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2011, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-guys-say-to-girls-when-they-walk-up-to-them-on-a-night-out/601511/29 "2011-11-01T20:15:57Z")
Two words, one strategy: No Fear. I always start with some innocuous line about the shared environment. “The bartender’s making them strong tonight.” “Who sings this song?” “I wish it weren’t raining.” “It’s packed in here tonight. More than usual.” Then ask her an open question about something _you’re_ thinking about. That way, she has to give you a response, but you’ll have an easy time following it up since the topic’s already in your head. Last night, you could’ve said “So what’s your zombie apocalypse plan?” If the response is a dead-end, you can easily switch gears with something like “Do you really think people would start looting and shooting so quickly? Or would they try to band together in big groups?” The important thing to remember is that it doesn’t necessarily have to be related to anything contemporary. After that comes the jokes. While some women like geeks and some like athletes, the one thing they all (and men, too) have in common is they like people that can make them laugh. Finally, you seal the deal with what I accidentally discovered is the best line in the history of lines- “Y’know, my house is right across the street from here.” Bam! She feels safe. She can walk there. She can get back to her car in the morning. Her friends know where she’s going. If you live across the street from the bar, the panties are coming off, my friend. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2011, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-guys-say-to-girls-when-they-walk-up-to-them-on-a-night-out/601511/30 "2011-11-01T20:26:29Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > “So what’s your zombie apocalypse plan?” I am so using that. Where do I send the royalty check? ---
**Author:** ![Kuboydal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecb155/32.png) [@Kuboydal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kuboydal)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2011, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-guys-say-to-girls-when-they-walk-up-to-them-on-a-night-out/601511/31 "2011-11-01T20:30:50Z")
“You have to start with hello.”-James May ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2011, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-guys-say-to-girls-when-they-walk-up-to-them-on-a-night-out/601511/32 "2011-11-01T20:36:30Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. “I have an exam table with stirrups in my van,” cooed Antonio into the flushing shell of her ear. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2011, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-guys-say-to-girls-when-they-walk-up-to-them-on-a-night-out/601511/33 "2011-11-01T20:38:45Z")
> [@Bearflag70](#): > > Remember to await her answer to each question before asking the next question. Good tip! Because her answer might help you think of _another_ question. She might even ask you questions. And you’ll have to answer them. Next thing you’ll know, you’ll be _chatting up a girl_! ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2011, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-guys-say-to-girls-when-they-walk-up-to-them-on-a-night-out/601511/34 "2011-11-01T20:38:57Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > “I have an exam table with stirrups in my van,” cooed Antonio into the flushing shell of her ear. Ooh, is it white and windowless? ---
**Author:** ![gurujulp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ba9def/32.png) [@gurujulp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gurujulp)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2011, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-guys-say-to-girls-when-they-walk-up-to-them-on-a-night-out/601511/35 "2011-11-01T21:16:39Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Ooh, is it white and windowless? The ear? Oh! The van! :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2011, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-guys-say-to-girls-when-they-walk-up-to-them-on-a-night-out/601511/36 "2011-11-01T21:18:11Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. Actually it’s more what you look like than anything. ---
**Author:** ![Ruken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f475e1/32.png) [@Ruken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruken)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2011, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-guys-say-to-girls-when-they-walk-up-to-them-on-a-night-out/601511/37 "2011-11-01T21:22:34Z")
> [@Covered\_In\_Bees](#): > > There’s always the tried and true: “Wanna fuck?” You might have better luck with a common variant: “Nice shoes, wanna fuck?” ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2011, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-guys-say-to-girls-when-they-walk-up-to-them-on-a-night-out/601511/38 "2011-11-01T21:28:58Z")
> [@Philster](#): > > In today’s U.S. college-club culture, that might be the most effective technique out there. Dammit. Too young for the 60’s, too old for the 2010’s. ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2011, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-guys-say-to-girls-when-they-walk-up-to-them-on-a-night-out/601511/39 "2011-11-01T21:53:22Z")
> [@Ruken](#): > > You might have better luck with a common variant: “Nice shoes, wanna fuck?” Are shoes still that large of a fashion statement these days? Perhaps we should modify it to, “Nice purse dog, wanna fuck?” ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2011, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-guys-say-to-girls-when-they-walk-up-to-them-on-a-night-out/601511/40 "2011-11-01T22:02:21Z")
> [@Philster](#): > > …which I’d quickly relieve by getting to her as she was leaving or actually outside. Sort of forced some spontaneity on both parties, too – because, bam!, time to act! > > First, it made the meeting short and closed-ended, but offered some sort of relief and satisfaction. The girl wasn’t faced with hours ahead in this club/whatever with me. Even if she was very interested, waiting until about the end or her exit removed 99% of whatever awkwardness might lie ahead. > > I left no regrets in my single days. No no no please please do not follow a girl you don’t know outside. At a club, at the mall, at the grocery. That is absolutely terrifying. (This is different if you are both already outside for a legit reason, but the idea of someone following to your car or to a dark parking lot really sets our alarms off.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-guys-say-to-girls-when-they-walk-up-to-them-on-a-night-out/601511.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-guys-say-to-girls-when-they-walk-up-to-them-on-a-night-out/601511.md?page=3)