# What do I do with a dead body? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [November 3, 2001, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-i-do-with-a-dead-body/91262 "2001-11-03T04:02:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Payne\_N.Diaz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b77776/32.png) [@Payne\_N.Diaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Payne_N.Diaz)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2001, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-i-do-with-a-dead-body/91262/61 "2001-11-15T18:17:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mr. Duality \* > \*\*Freeze it solid. Then rent a chainsaw and a large woodchipper. Cut the body up and run it thru the woodchipper. Dispose of the resulting peoplechips in a river. \*\* This was actually tried once–it didn’t work. For one thing, the idiot was spotted running the woodchipper off a bridge. When the local cops checked it out, they found a finger. When the print was cross-checked with missing persons reports, they nailed the lady’s husband. So it’s not as foolproof as you might think. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2001, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-i-do-with-a-dead-body/91262/62 "2001-11-15T20:33:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bathos \* > \*\*I think that is enough for now. But basically, the best way to hide a body is in plane sight. If you plan everything out to the very end, you shouldn’t need to worry about hiding bodies. > > -Bathos \*\* “Plane sight.” Does that mean throwing it off of a plane? Or tossing it into the World Trade Center site? ---
**Author:** ![bathos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9fc348/32.png) [@bathos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bathos)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2001, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-i-do-with-a-dead-body/91262/63 "2001-11-15T21:04:00Z")
Doh! I really should spellcheck a bit more, `specially when I am tired an at work. My apologizes. -bathos ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2001, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-i-do-with-a-dead-body/91262/64 "2001-11-15T21:53:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bathos \* > \*\* 1.) Once you have selected the location for the “grave” and have cleaned up the mess (Bleaching the area where the body was), cut from the sternum to the top of the waste about half-way through the body. This will allow the internal gases to get out and will keep the dirt from shifting when buried > \*\* Bleach doesn’t cut it any more. There is a product that will cause blood stains to glow under black light, even years after the fact, no matter how much cleaning is involved. ---
**Author:** ![whatever1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@whatever1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whatever1)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2001, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-i-do-with-a-dead-body/91262/65 "2001-11-15T22:06:18Z")
Get a job at a Crematory,as a janitor,and in the middle of the night take the body there,and burn it up,get the ashes thow them out the window on the way home,no evidence ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2001, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-i-do-with-a-dead-body/91262/66 "2001-11-15T22:25:15Z")
Move to Boulder, Colorado and take the body with ya. Police there won’t be able to figure it out, even if they find it in the back of your pickup or in the cellar of your house. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2001, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-i-do-with-a-dead-body/91262/67 "2001-11-16T00:12:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by adam yax \* > Bleach doesn’t cut it any more. There is a product that will cause blood stains to glow under black light, even years after the fact, no matter how much cleaning is involved. That’s right. It’s called [Luminol.](http://www.deakin.edu.au/forensic/Chemical%20Detective/Luminol_test.htm) ---
**Author:** ![geepee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ebca7d/32.png) [@geepee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/geepee)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2001, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-i-do-with-a-dead-body/91262/68 "2001-11-16T00:37:50Z")
Bah like i said dispose of it 100% go to a hotdog factory and stick it in the meat pulverizer ---
**Author:** ![DirkGntly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DirkGntly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DirkGntly)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2001, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-i-do-with-a-dead-body/91262/69 "2001-11-16T01:20:19Z")
You know, that’s the really nasty thing, isn’t it? No statute of limitations on homicide… ---
**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2001, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-i-do-with-a-dead-body/91262/70 "2001-11-16T01:43:30Z")
Did you hear about the dumb Floridian who tried to dispose of a dead body by burying it and then covering it with key lime pies…? ---
**Author:** ![JillGat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@JillGat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JillGat)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2001, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-i-do-with-a-dead-body/91262/71 "2001-11-16T02:03:29Z")
We generally remove or close threads that recommend illegal activities. To be consistent, I’m closing this one, too. Jill [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-i-do-with-a-dead-body/91262.md?page=3)