What do I need to know before challenging a Wolverine?

[Alka_Seltzer]

Nuke it from orbit.

[Lemur866]

I grew up in Alaska, and there were plenty of people getting killed by bears, but I never once heard of someone attacked by a wolverine. It might have happened a few times, but the danger from bears is at least an order of magnitude higher.

[Telemark]

@Lare

What don’t people understand that causes the problem?

Mainly the effective range. It’s tough to sit there an wait until the bear is close enough for the spray to be effective.

[capeo]

@Gary "Wombat" Robson

@capeo

I have no idea what bear spray will do to a wolverine but since it doesn’t even work on bears for the most part I wouldn’t count on it.

I’m going to call for a cite on that statement. I’ve read pretty extensively about bears, and talked to a lot of experts on the subject (I live near Yellowstone and I’m a nature writer). While it certainly isn’t 100% effective, the majority of the problems with bear spray seem to happen at the trigger end–people not understanding how to use it.

That was more anecdotal than anything. I’ve seen a lot of wildlife shows where they tested it to little effect (and debilitated themselves in the slightest breeze). If you don’t hit the bear directly in the face it won’t do much. I also saw a show where they tried spraying it on the ground and it actually attracted black bears. As for a true study, I can’t find many. There’s this:

http://www.gi.alaska.edu/ScienceForum/ASF12/1245.html

It seems to indicate a good shot on a bear that isn’t directly attacking should work most of the time.

In the 16 cases Herrero and Higgins looked at in which pepper spray was used against brown bears in sudden encounters, 15 brown bears turned away after receiving a direct blast to the eyes and nose. Three of the sprayed brown bears ended up attacking and injuring the sprayer anyway, but Herrero said it didn’t appear a face full of pepper made the bears any more aggressive than they normally would have been.

Used correctly, as you said, it is actually quite effective.

[Cat_Whisperer]

What’s that joke about how you can tell if it’s grizzly bear scat - it has bells in it and it smells like pepper?

[Lamar_Mundane]

Wear an Appalachian State jersey.

[GusNSpot]

I have heard that wasp spray works pretty good and is really much easier to use because of the distance it will shoot and the ability to aim a good hit farther out…

Hearsay only, I carry a big gun or three.

[leftfield6]

@Gary "Wombat" Robson

The last population survey showed only four wolverines in the greater Yellowstone ecosystem.

Sure, but wolverines are well known for their evasiveness when surveyed. Frequently refusing to make eye contact, furtively looking around, etc. The just don’t like surveys, and can’t be trusted to give truthful answers.

[Markxxx]

7 Steps To Fighting A wolverine

1. Find a wolverine. This is not as easy as it seems as they are very secretive. All of them have bad credit so they have unlisted phone numbers or use Google Voice and constantly change the phone numbers

2. Make the wolverine mad. This is not easy as they are generally very peaceful creatures. Really, you can even go right up to one and stick your tongue out at him and say “Nayh, Nayh, Nayh,” and the wolverine will say “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me”

3. Call him a Nazi or a KKK member. Wolverines HATE being associated with hate groups

4. If he still won’t fight make fun of his grammar and spelling. Wolverines detest this form of logic They feel grammar and spelling are just one part of an overall education and don’t accurately reflect one’s intellect

5. As a last resort if the Wolverine still won’t fight, tell him that you have more friends on MySpace and Facebook than he has.

6. Now that the Wolverine is ready to fight with you, you need to go to the Wikipedia and check out the Marquees Of Queensbury Rules. Wolverines ONLY fight with the Marquees Of Queensbury Rules, after all they may be animals but they are also gentlemen

7. Finally sucker punch him right in his kidneys. The wolverine doesn’t understand fighting dirty and will run crying home to his mommy like a big sissy

[Bill_Door]

@Cat_Whisperer

My first response was, “Make sure your medical insurance is paid up.” If you’re talking about the Canadian Rockies, we hear about bear encounters all the time, but in 20 years of living an hour away from the Rockies, I’ve never once heard about a wolverine encounter. I’d be a lot more worried about a cougar encounter - we hear about them fairly often, too.

And the fact that the wolverine never leaves any survivors doesn’t make you nervous? The crafty wolverine doesn’t even leave enough traces to tell there was an attack.

[Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor]

Serious answer–

You need a rifle. And not a squirrel rifle, .30 calibre should do.

Be certain you can hit the beast.

Pistols will not be sufficient. Nor shotguns.

High velocity projectiles only.

Avoid them, if you can. And practice good camp sanitation.

BTW–bears & cougars are more likely threats.

[alice_in_wonderland]

I live pretty well right beside the Canadian Rockies and I’ve never seen a wolverine, heard of a wolverine attack, or even received safety information regarding wolverines.

That being said, a quick perusal of the Hinterland Who’s Who website (http://www.hww.ca/hww2.asp?id=108) leads me to believe a couple of things:

1. You’re more likely to run into Wolverine than an actual wolverine.
2. If you do run into a wolverine, you will most likely see it’s hind end running in the opposite direction 'cus they really don’t like people
3. They are not particularly large and don’t tend to attack people

If you have small children with you, they would be my primary concern. If not, I would give the same advice that is given regarding cougars* - if you somehow manage to get attacked, fight the little bugger with all you’ve got - honestly, one good blow with a shovel will probably scare it away into the woods.

*This advice is different than for a bear attack which is what I would primarily concerned about. Cougars, moose, etc can mess you up pretty good, but bears regularly kill people.

[Chefguy]

@Gary "Wombat" Robson

That said, I took a large predator class at Yellowstone Institute a couple of years ago, and we spent quite a bit of time on wolverines.

Okay, this clearly shows that your post is utter nonsense. Wombats are NOT large predators, and I seriously doubt that any self-respecting wolverine would let you mount it.

[Kobal2]

@leftfield6

Sure, but wolverines are well known for their evasiveness when surveyed. Frequently refusing to make eye contact, furtively looking around, etc. The just don’t like surveys, and can’t be trusted to give truthful answers.

It’s not the surveyors they don’t like, it’s the revenuers that follow 'em.

[Gary_Robson]

[quote=“Lare, post:18, topic:548610”]

@Gary "Wombat" Robson

@capeo

… the majority of the problems with bear spray seem to happen at the trigger end–people not understanding how to use it.

Maybe I’m missing something really basic here but shouldn’t it be:

1. Aim (But not upwind)
2. Press “dispensing” button?

#1 is the issue. Too many people think they should aim directly at the bear. Charging brown bears typically keep their heads down. If you spray at the bear, he’s likely to run under the spray and get you anyway. If you wait until he’s on top of you, you won’t get enough spray to stop him. If you spray at the ground AS HE APPROACHES, you’ll create a low cloud that will get his eyes and nose.

@Chronos

(I live near Yellowstone and I’m a nature writer).

(hijack) I thought you were up in the Great Falls area? Or are you using “near” in a relative sense?

I live in Red Lodge, near the foot of the Beartooth Highway that comes over from the Northeast entrance to the park. We live in the Yellowstone Ecosystem, on the other side of the Absaroka/Beartooth Wilderness–about 944,000 square miles of pristine nature (the total ecosystem is about 20,000,000 acres).

@leftfield6

@Gary "Wombat" Robson

The last population survey showed only four wolverines in the greater Yellowstone ecosystem.

Sure, but wolverines are well known for their evasiveness when surveyed. Frequently refusing to make eye contact, furtively looking around, etc. The just don’t like surveys, and can’t be trusted to give truthful answers.

I know this is a joke, but I found the survey methods fascinating. Wolverines have a distinctive diagonal lope that leaves tracks so unique they can be identified from the air. The survey was done two days after a good snowfall so the tracks would be easy to spot from the airplanes. They also tried deadfall traps and hair traps without much success.

@Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor

Serious answer–

You need a rifle. And not a squirrel rifle, .30 calibre should do.

In the unlikely event that you get charged by a wolverine, a rifle will be pretty useless. You won’t have time to pull it and aim it. If you want to use a gun, use a handgun. They’re designed for close range.

If you shoot an endangered species with a rifle, you’re going to have a really hard time convincing the game warden it was close enough to be self-defense.

@Chefguy

@Gary "Wombat" Robson

That said, I took a large predator class at Yellowstone Institute a couple of years ago, and we spent quite a bit of time on wolverines.

Okay, this clearly shows that your post is utter nonsense. Wombats are NOT large predators, and I seriously doubt that any self-respecting wolverine would let you mount it.

We may not be large predators, but we study them very carefully. Wouldn’t you?

And who says the wolverines in the class had any self-respect?

[rowrrbazzle]

Contrary to popular belief, wolverines show no preference for fingertips over any other body part.

[GreasyJack]

@Gary "Wombat" Robson

In the unlikely event that you get charged by a wolverine, a rifle will be pretty useless. You won’t have time to pull it and aim it. If you want to use a gun, use a handgun. They’re designed for close range.

If you shoot an endangered species with a rifle, you’re going to have a really hard time convincing the game warden it was close enough to be self-defense.

I actually know someone who got charged by a wolverine and emptied an entire magazine from a small automatic pistol into it before it stopped. Granted your chances are better than with a bear, but I think there’s the similar issue where the size firearms that are convienient to carry for self-defense simply don’t have enough stopping power to reliably stop an angry critter. Guns seem to give some folks a better sense of security, but spray is just the better option all around.

Also, a bit of a nitpick, but wolverines aren’t endangered (although you can certainly argue that they should be). They’re even open for trapping in Montana, although the last year they only got 3 of them (out of a quota of 6).

[Tamerlane]

Check out the second video on this page. Just a cuddly critter ;).

[Sailboat]

@GreasyJack

Also, a bit of a nitpick, but wolverines aren’t endangered (although you can certainly argue that they should be).

It looks like some have indeed made that argument.

[Si_Amigo]

@gonzomax

Wolverines are especially dangerous to people from Ohio.

That’s only because people from Ohio keep trying to poision the wolverines with buckeyes; not knowing the wolverine is too smart to eat buckeyes.