# What do immigrants to the US need to be taught? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 10, 2015, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-immigrants-to-the-us-need-to-be-taught/719689 "2015-05-10T06:10:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2015, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-immigrants-to-the-us-need-to-be-taught/719689/81 "2015-05-14T07:32:48Z")
If you’re dealing with someone from the UK you might have to explain to them about different floors in the US of A. In 'Merica, we have a ground (or first) floor and above that a 2nd floor, etc. In the UK there’s a ground floor and above that is the 1st floor and above that is the 2nd floor, etc. This is referred to in Gary P Nunn’s song “London Homesick Blues”. ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2015, 8:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-immigrants-to-the-us-need-to-be-taught/719689/82 "2015-05-14T08:37:47Z")
> [@Donnerwetter](#): > > Americans say “excuse me” a lot when they pass by you in the public space, even at a significant distance. In my neck of the woods, people may or may not do that only if they had just inadvertently hit you in the head with their elbow. In New Zealand we say “sorry” for putting our feet where someone can tread on our toes ---
**Author:** ![Lemmytheseal2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/82dd89/32.png) [@Lemmytheseal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemmytheseal2)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2015, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-immigrants-to-the-us-need-to-be-taught/719689/83 "2015-05-14T15:17:53Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > Don’t ask women whether they have children if they haven’t brought up the topic themselves. Even if they seem to be carrying or buying a child’s toy. > > And if you do ask and they say “no,” don’t start quizzing about why not. > > Seriously, this happens to my wife all the time and it really gets her down. > [@Anaamika](#): > > ! Immigrants? Residents of this country need to be taught the same thing. I have been asked by people who live here just as much, if not more, in that nasally voice, “But whyyyyyy don’t you want to have children?” > > I swear, I always want to snap and say “Because I don’t want to be a miserable POS like you.” Grr! I started a thread about this precise topic (or more specifically, the reasons for why some people display such confusion and rudeness about childfree status), and many Dopers shared similar experiences, but plenty acted like the topic never comes up! Is that a good sign? And yes, I wonder why this behavior would be OK in some places and not in others. Infertility or the death of children will be a painful topic, and deliberate childlessness is just a preference, right? ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2015, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-immigrants-to-the-us-need-to-be-taught/719689/84 "2015-05-14T15:24:02Z")
Even “deliberate childlessness” can be a place of pain, sorrow, embarrassment, or simply none-of-your-business. And why do people feel like they can demand to know one way or another? There’s no possible answer that isn’t private. ---
**Author:** ![Fallen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e99b99/32.png) [@Fallen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fallen)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2015, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-immigrants-to-the-us-need-to-be-taught/719689/85 "2015-05-14T15:58:17Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > At work you should \*very rarely \*touch your coworkers. (one of my female coworkers from Nepal got fired over “sexual harassment” but she was touchy-feely with everyone so it feels unjustified) Er, unless she was touching folks’ butts, breasts or genitalia (and wouldn’t stop after being told “er, please don’t do that, Shirisha”), I’m not sure how someone could justify firing and saying it was due to “sexual harassment”. Without knowing more, sounds like a weird pretext for firing for another reason. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2015, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-immigrants-to-the-us-need-to-be-taught/719689/86 "2015-05-14T16:11:52Z")
Don’t touch people’s cars. I’ve seen people in India as they walk past a car, casually running their hands along it. That might cause an unpleasant confrontation here. ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2015, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-immigrants-to-the-us-need-to-be-taught/719689/87 "2015-05-14T18:31:57Z")
Oh yeah, in the US, one doesn’t kiss someone on the cheeks when they first meet regardless of the genders. And even after the initial encounter/meeting, men never kiss other men on the cheeks. Men might kiss women on their cheeks, but allow the female to initiate it and men shouldn’t expect it. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-immigrants-to-the-us-need-to-be-taught/719689/88 "2015-05-15T01:56:38Z")
> [@Donnerwetter](#): > > Americans say “excuse me” a lot when they pass by you in the public space, even at a significant distance. In my neck of the woods, people may or may not do that only if they had just inadvertently hit you in the head with their elbow. Oh, but if they’re a significant distance from you _and_ passing in front of you, they’re saying excuse me not because they worry that they’re in danger of bumping into you, but because they’ve gotten in the way of what you’re looking at. This happens quite a lot when you’re shopping, and it’s because we were taught as toddlers it’s rude to get in someone’s way like that even if it only takes a few seconds to get by them. ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-immigrants-to-the-us-need-to-be-taught/719689/89 "2015-05-15T11:20:29Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > Don’t try offering the authorities a bribe. I actually think this is the best, most universal piece of advice in the thread. In most of the USA this kind of street level corruption is non-existent. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-immigrants-to-the-us-need-to-be-taught/719689/90 "2015-05-15T11:39:10Z")
> [@grude](#): > > I actually think this is the best, most universal piece of advice in the thread. > > In most of the USA this kind of street level corruption is non-existent. The difference here is that the entry price for bribing public officials is around $50,000 and quickly rises with the level of authority. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-immigrants-to-the-us-need-to-be-taught/719689/91 "2015-05-15T12:02:56Z")
We use shower curtains; there is no floor drain in the bathroom. Snitches get stitches. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-immigrants-to-the-us-need-to-be-taught/719689/92 "2015-05-15T13:05:15Z")
Don’t fuck with the police. You never know what provocation is going to make them shoot you. Drink the water. It’s fine. You’re supposed to tip about 15% in restaurants, but check the bill to make sure it’s not already added. Wash your hands in public restrooms. Even if you’re a guy and you just peed and you didn’t think you got any on you. It’s what people expect. In line, don’t stand too close or too far from the guy in front of you. Haggling is almost never done. Don’t talk about religion or politics. Learn the Fahrenheit temperature scale, that’s what you’ll get in the weather reports. In general, never smoke indoors in public. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-immigrants-to-the-us-need-to-be-taught/719689/93 "2015-05-15T16:29:28Z")
If they feel lonely or homesick, or just want a chance to practice their native language, and they live in a large American city, their are almost always other immigrants from their same country there and often they have organized groups. Like say the Scandinavian or the Filipino society. So if they look around they can find others from home. ---
**Author:** ![Surreal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Surreal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surreal)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-immigrants-to-the-us-need-to-be-taught/719689/94 "2015-05-15T19:55:36Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > We joke about this but it’s not a “rule” that has real social consequences. Especially in a small restroom.\*\* If there are only three urinals, it’s fine to use either one of the unused ones.\*\* Um, no it isn’t. If you’re not aware of this you obviously aren’t someone that should be doling out advice to newcomers. In general, it’s never acceptable to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with a complete stranger if you have the opportunity to stand somewhere else. They may not say it, but they’ll think you’re weird and they’ll wish that you would go away. If you were in a park with two park benches, only one of which was occupied, would you also think it was perfectly acceptable to plop your ass down right next to the person that was already seated there? ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-immigrants-to-the-us-need-to-be-taught/719689/95 "2015-05-15T20:07:25Z")
> [@Surreal](#): > > If you were in a park with two park benches, only one of which was occupied, would you also think it was perfectly acceptable to plop your ass down right next to the person that was already seated there? These situations aren’t even remotely comparable. Urinals are a need and there are a lot more factors that go into selecting them other than proximity to another user, particularly if there are only three. For example, the third urinal might be excessively dirty or filled with chewing gum or cigarettes or overflowing or the floor is wet under the third. Or simply not flushed. It’s perfectly acceptable to skip that urinal rather than flushing it yourself. Or it might be a kiddie height. No one is required to use that one. Or if there is a lot of coming-and-going of traffic through the restroom, it’s perfectly fine to use the one that is accessible without having to walk around someone or waiting for someone to move out of your path. You don’t need to navigate foot traffic just to get to the third urinal. If there are partitions or splash guards separating a total of three urinals there are no restrictions. The more important rules are never talk to a stranger while using a urinal and always keep your gaze straight ahead of you. If you follow those rules in a three-urinal situation then there are no significant social consequences to choosing one or the other. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-immigrants-to-the-us-need-to-be-taught/719689/96 "2015-05-15T20:23:31Z")
Don’t start cooking fires on the kitchen floor. ---
**Author:** ![Surreal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Surreal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surreal)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-immigrants-to-the-us-need-to-be-taught/719689/97 "2015-05-15T20:27:02Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > These situations aren’t even remotely comparable. Urinals are a need and there are a lot more factors that go into selecting them other than proximity to another user, particularly if there are only three. > > For example, the third urinal might be excessively dirty or filled with chewing gum or cigarettes or overflowing or the floor is wet under the third. Or simply not flushed. It’s perfectly acceptable to skip that urinal rather than flushing it yourself. OMG chewing gum! That totally renders the urinal completely unusable. Better stand right next to the other guy who was there before you. ---
**Author:** ![Surreal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Surreal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surreal)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-immigrants-to-the-us-need-to-be-taught/719689/98 "2015-05-15T20:49:26Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > For example, the third urinal might be excessively dirty or filled with chewing gum or cigarettes or overflowing or the floor is wet under the third. Or simply not flushed. It’s perfectly acceptable to skip that urinal rather than flushing it yourself. OMG, an unflushed urinal! That might require you to have to pull the lever to flush before you actually started urinating. Because no one in the history of urinating has ever flushed beforehand. Or not. Or just wait 10-15 seconds before a flushed urinal becomes available. > [@Acsenray](#): > > Or it might be a kiddie height. No one is required to use that one. There are many restrooms where ALL of the urinals are kiddie height. What to you do in this situation, piss in the sink? ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-immigrants-to-the-us-need-to-be-taught/719689/99 "2015-05-15T21:39:33Z")
> [@Surreal](#): > > There are many restrooms where ALL of the urinals are kiddie height. What to you do in this situation, piss in the sink? You’re just supporting the point that no one factor is paramount. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-immigrants-to-the-us-need-to-be-taught/719689/100 "2015-05-15T21:43:38Z")
> [@Surreal](#): > > OMG, an unflushed urinal! That might require you to have to pull the lever to flush before you actually started urinating. Because no one in the history of urinating has ever flushed beforehand. I didn’t say that. But you aren’t required to flush it yourself just to avoid using the middle urinal. > [@](#): > > Or not. Or just wait 10-15 seconds before a flushed urinal becomes available. No one has to wait for a urinal if the middle one is free. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-immigrants-to-the-us-need-to-be-taught/719689.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-immigrants-to-the-us-need-to-be-taught/719689.md?page=6)