# What Do My 2 Cats Think I Am? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 25, 2018, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-my-2-cats-think-i-am/813114 "2018-04-25T19:53:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2018, 8:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-my-2-cats-think-i-am/813114/21 "2018-04-26T08:49:35Z")
> [@Enola\_Gay](#): > > They think you are their own personal butler and they are right. You feed them, pet them (on their terms), & scoop up their poop on a daily basis. And if a neighbor started serving better cat food, they’d desert you in a New York minute. It’s what I admire about cats. This basically. We had what we called a “time-share cat”; her actual owners-of-record would let her out each morning, she would come down the sidewalk and move into our house, then we would put her out at night and she would go up the sidewalk back there. She had the Nirvana for cats ---- multiple servants in different mansions. ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2018, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-my-2-cats-think-i-am/813114/22 "2018-04-26T10:33:56Z")
A [recent study](https://www.forbes.com/sites/brucelee/2018/03/11/here-is-why-your-cat-may-be-plotting-to-kill-you/#340dfdd146fa) suggests your cat would like to kill you, but it’s not physically possible for it to do so: > [@](#): > > …the only things keeping your cat from taking you out are the fact that you are much bigger than your cat and your cat has not constructed the appropriate weapons yet. ---
**Author:** ![Ashtura](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ashtura/32/2963_2.png) [@Ashtura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashtura)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2018, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-my-2-cats-think-i-am/813114/23 "2018-04-26T16:07:21Z")
“Slave” if you’re alive. “Dinner” if you’re dead. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2018, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-my-2-cats-think-i-am/813114/24 "2018-04-26T17:09:59Z")
> [@TreacherousCretin](#): > > Cats see us for what we have: opposable thumbs, with which we can open cans. [Umm…](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmJhv6W_URY) ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2018, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-my-2-cats-think-i-am/813114/25 "2018-04-27T13:06:20Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > That’s what animal behaviorists think based on the way they treat us. We’re large, clumsy, mostly hairless cats who can’t hunt worth a damn but have magical hands to make up for that. That’s what the whole bringing offerings is about. They’re saying, “Here, dumbass. It’s a mouse. You hunt 'em, then you eat 'em. Get with it!” I always figured the simplest difference between dogs and cats is: Dogs figure they’re people. Cats figure you’re a cat. ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2018, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-my-2-cats-think-i-am/813114/26 "2018-04-28T02:19:49Z")
I’ve read that in the process of domesticating, cats adapted the parts of their psyches that gave them love for their mother. So they look at us more nearly as a mother cat, or a substitute for one. And I agree that cats have learned to manipulate us to give them food and other valuable things, so they have domesticated us just as we have domesticated them. There’s one right here waiting for me to go to bed… ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2018, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-my-2-cats-think-i-am/813114/27 "2018-04-28T03:20:35Z")
I bottle fed an abandoned kitten one time. That was the most pitiful cat. As she grew she was not sure what to do and how to act. I tried being the Mom cat and teach her, she just couldn’t get it. She was lovable and sweet and NEEDY as hell. I finally got her litter box trained, I dug in more litter than a person should have to endure. I will spare you the details on that. I was her foster Mom and we found a lady to adopt her who was willing to put in the work and teach her cat-ti-tude. I went to see her about a year later and she was about as normal as could be expected. The lady said her vet told her the cat was probably mentally disabled. But that cat knew me immediately and climbed right up under my chin like she did as a baby. Purring and kneading. I told the lady " this cat is not disabled, don’t you believe it". She was plenty smart, just different. So at least one cat thinks of me as dear old Mother. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-my-2-cats-think-i-am/813114.md?page=1)