# What do we know about Cecil?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-we-know-about-cecil/255660>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [July 18, 2004, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-we-know-about-cecil/255660 "2004-07-18T03:20:36Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\
**Post date:** [July 18, 2004, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-we-know-about-cecil/255660/1 "2004-07-18T03:20:36Z")

</div>

I have watched on TV, and read about, historians trying to piece together many an artist biography by the little bits and pieces of information that they leave behind in their work. Sometimes this has dubious results (Michelangelo was gay, Carroll Lewis was a pedophile, etc.) Luckily nobody suggest that our Perfect Master is anything but, well, perfect.

What do we know about Cecil (or whoever plays him in real life) for certain? What has he revealed to us through his writings?

So far I know this:  
[He grew up in the 60s](http://straightdope.com/columns/030110.html), which makes him at least at least 44.

[He’s against the war in Iraq](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/030411.html). I cannot infer party affiliation from this, nor guess if he is a pacifist or simply against this one war.

[He is married](http://straightdope.com/classics/a2_201).

[He doesn’t smoke](http://straightdope.com/classics/a4_148.html).  
What else do we know about him?

I suppose this is the appropriate forum. If it isn’t, can one of our friendly fascist mods please move it?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\
**Post date:** [July 18, 2004, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-we-know-about-cecil/255660/2 "2004-07-18T03:28:57Z")

</div>

He’s Cubs fan.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\
**Post date:** [July 18, 2004, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-we-know-about-cecil/255660/3 "2004-07-18T03:37:35Z")

</div>

Personally, I think Cecil is a benevolent cyborg sent from the future to instruct mankind…  
…  
Or a Vampire…  
😃

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Muad\_Dib](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/35a633/32.png) [@Muad\_Dib](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muad_Dib)\
**Post date:** [July 18, 2004, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-we-know-about-cecil/255660/4 "2004-07-18T03:39:50Z")

</div>

He is left handed and is in possesion of pubic hair.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\
**Post date:** [July 18, 2004, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-we-know-about-cecil/255660/5 "2004-07-18T03:46:04Z")

</div>

[He’s got hairy ears.](http://straightdope.com/classics/a4_124.html)😃

[Apparently he was acquainted with a certain ‘Mary Jane’.](http://straightdope.com/classics/a5_131.html)

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![yabob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yabob/32/2821_2.png) [@yabob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yabob)\
**Post date:** [July 18, 2004, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-we-know-about-cecil/255660/6 "2004-07-18T03:49:15Z")

</div>

> [@](#):
>
> He grew up in the 60s, which makes him at least at least 44.

If you subscribe to the belief that a single individual has produced the column for all its years in print, he’s older than that. It was first published in 1973. Even if he was only 20 at the time, that would make him 51. I take his statement that he “grew up” in the 60’s in the sense that he came of age during that era, not that he was a young child during it.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\
**Post date:** [July 18, 2004, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-we-know-about-cecil/255660/7 "2004-07-18T03:55:26Z")

</div>

Let’s stick to the theory that he is a)human, b)a real person (even if he is not really called C.A.

I said that he was at least 44, no you get it closer to his real age, which suggest he was born in the 50s.

And [he likes liver.](http://straightdope.com/classics/a1_218.html)

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![ZebraShaSha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/eada6e/32.png) [@ZebraShaSha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZebraShaSha)\
**Post date:** [July 18, 2004, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-we-know-about-cecil/255660/8 "2004-07-18T04:01:58Z")

</div>

He was a baby boomer.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![AwSnappity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a3d4f5/32.png) [@AwSnappity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AwSnappity)\
**Post date:** [July 18, 2004, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-we-know-about-cecil/255660/9 "2004-07-18T06:13:22Z")

</div>

> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#):
>
> He’s Cubs fan.

Well then, he is indeed perfect. I admit, I had my doubts.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Antonius\_Block](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/51bf81/32.png) [@Antonius\_Block](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antonius_Block)\
**Post date:** [July 18, 2004, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-we-know-about-cecil/255660/10 "2004-07-18T06:32:13Z")

</div>

He [almost knocked out the side of a building with an overhead crane](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2_402b.html).

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Cardinal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardinal/32/4000_2.png) [@Cardinal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardinal)\
**Post date:** [July 18, 2004, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-we-know-about-cecil/255660/11 "2004-07-18T13:29:20Z")

</div>

You mean, other than he’s Ed Zotti?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\
**Post date:** [July 18, 2004, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-we-know-about-cecil/255660/12 "2004-07-18T13:54:46Z")

</div>

Sheesh! It’s not THAT time again, is it? :rolleyes:

Off to MPSIMS.

**samclem** GQ moderator

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\
**Post date:** [July 18, 2004, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-we-know-about-cecil/255660/13 "2004-07-18T14:01:40Z")

</div>

Way to go Sherlock Holmes. I’m sure we’ll figure it out _this_ time.

Haj

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Bugnorton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19b73/32.png) [@Bugnorton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bugnorton)\
**Post date:** [July 18, 2004, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-we-know-about-cecil/255660/14 "2004-07-18T14:17:34Z")

</div>

Ah, yes, it is summer and once again the newly initiated trot out the usual list of the “known properties of Cecil”.

Does anyone have any _ **new** _ information about our great and illustrious leader, or is this just perhaps a gratutious grab at hoping our own Unca will deign to grace us with his presence in these humble fora.

I for one would love to have participated in a thread Cecil popped in on prior to the aforementioned popping in!

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\
**Post date:** [July 18, 2004, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-we-know-about-cecil/255660/15 "2004-07-18T18:45:32Z")

</div>

I was here two years earlier than you, so I am hardly ‘newly initiated’.

You are mistaken. I don’t care if Cecil is Ed, or an Alien, or a Walmart employee. This is an excersize in ‘profiling’ an author trhough their writing. It’s been done before. He has told us bits and pieces of his life, but since I don’t keep up and don’t remember all his articles maybe somebody has something else to contribute.

I know all too well that the “is Cecil really Ed?” or “is Cecil a registered bran?” has been done ad nauseam, this is not the same, and I searched for it and didn’t get anything.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\
**Post date:** [July 18, 2004, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-we-know-about-cecil/255660/16 "2004-07-18T18:47:58Z")

</div>

brand, not bran. D’uh!

Actually, I hope he DOES NOT show up. That will ruin the premise of this thread.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Fiona\_Orange](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7feea3/32.png) [@Fiona\_Orange](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiona_Orange)\
**Post date:** [July 18, 2004, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-we-know-about-cecil/255660/17 "2004-07-18T20:00:17Z")

</div>

Cecil has a well-documented hatred of all things cat.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\
**Post date:** [July 18, 2004, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-we-know-about-cecil/255660/18 "2004-07-18T21:29:16Z")

</div>

Cecil is Ed Zotti.

From the post [post=4800777]The SDMB is switching to paid subscriptions[/post] authored by Ed Zotti (highlighting added):

> [@Ed Zotti](#):
>
> **Why do you have to charge? How much can it cost to run a message board?**
> 
> Plenty. Jerry and his fellow tech geniuses get paid.
> 
> ```auto
> 
> Little Ed
> 
> ```
> 
> gets paid, believe it or not. Periodic server upgrades, the monthly data line fees, 3-in-1 oil for the hamster wheel - it all adds up.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![AwSnappity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a3d4f5/32.png) [@AwSnappity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AwSnappity)\
**Post date:** [July 18, 2004, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-we-know-about-cecil/255660/19 "2004-07-18T22:59:37Z")

</div>

> [@Fiona Orange](#):
>
> Cecil has a well-documented hatred of all things cat.

Again, proof that he _is_ perfect.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\
**Post date:** [July 19, 2004, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-we-know-about-cecil/255660/20 "2004-07-19T04:43:03Z")

</div>

He is Catholic, or at least was raised as such. He appears to have been rather impecunious during the early days of the column, and was living in rental housing until at least the late 1970’s. He attended college in the East. A security guard once threatened him with a handgun. He belonged to the Cub Scouts as a youth. The column in which he mentions this makes it clear he was in the Scouts before 1955, offering further evidence that he was _at least_ in his late 20’s when the column debuted and is thus pushing 60 today.

All of this comes from a quick, superficial scan of the first Straight Dope book. I’m sure that a rigorous analysis of his work, both online and in print, would yield a lot more. Computerized analysis of his writing style, and a thorough search for any contradictions in these tidbits of personal history, would provide evidence for or against the “One Cecil” theory. (I’m a firm believer in One Cecil, myself.) I think it’s up to you to lead the effort, **Mighty\_Girl**!

[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-we-know-about-cecil/255660.md?page=2)
