# What do women find attractive in a man? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 4, 2000, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116 "2000-08-04T12:32:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![astrangefish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bbce88/32.png) [@astrangefish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astrangefish)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/1 "2000-08-04T12:32:01Z")
erm… I think this is the right forum - it’s hardly a great debate and it’s not my humble opinion so… I’m a guy (just in case that needed clarifying) and as a gender we’re always being accused of being shallow and only interested in the contents of a bra. Well I for one am curious as to what women find attractive in a man. ---
**Author:** ![Michi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c37758/32.png) [@Michi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michi)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/2 "2000-08-04T12:57:28Z")
Are we talking strictly physical? I like a lean, athletic body. I don’t like a lot of hair. Other than that, I really can’t think of anything specific. I never know what I am going to be attracted to until I see it. The last guy I had a mad crush on looked like a Geek (capital G), but there was something about him (his brain) that really drew me towards him. Some women complain about being geek magnets, I can’t even catch their attention. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![SmoothOperator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3bc359/32.png) [@SmoothOperator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmoothOperator)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/3 "2000-08-04T13:00:14Z")
Having said that, I was initially attracted to a physical type. However, I have found that I became more attracted to certain men after I started to get to know them better. If I were currenly available and looking, I know that I would be attracted to a man’s sense of humor, intelligence and eloquence, his kindness, but most of all I am attracted to men that will share themselves with me. I don’t want/like being closed off from my SO. Course, that means that Poly, RT and Cheffie would have to watch out. ---
**Author:** ![astrangefish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bbce88/32.png) [@astrangefish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astrangefish)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/4 "2000-08-04T13:04:53Z")
You know, I’d kill for that edit button to work…heh… Let me expand on my original illiterate prose. What attracts you to a guy? Regardless if you just saw him walk past, or if you’ve known him for a while. What makes the connection for you? I’m not fishing for tips and/or techniques. I know that us guys get a lot of (often warranted) abuse for only being interested in body shape and other shallow stuff. I’m just curious to what initally attracts you to a guy. …guys that don’t start up stupid threads suddenly sprongs to mind. ---
**Author:** ![CanadianSue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@CanadianSue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanadianSue)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/5 "2000-08-04T13:11:55Z")
I love chests and strong arms. Being in someone’s arms is the most incredible feeling. Also, a man who is secure enough in himself to be honest and to be able to communicate. ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/6 "2000-08-04T13:18:49Z")
I’m sure that you’ll get a lot of responses to your question, but if you’ll search back a bit you’ll find the question has been asked several times before. The answers in past threads might also interest you. But we also have a lot of new female posters so their answers would be equally interesting. Only a small suggestion if you want a variety of answers. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/7 "2000-08-04T13:19:15Z")
::meteor voice from Discovery commercials:: AAAAAAAA! Communication! AAAAAAAAAAAAA! ---
**Author:** ![Kiki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dc4da7/32.png) [@Kiki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiki)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/8 "2000-08-04T13:20:36Z")
A man has to appeal to me physically first and then his personality will become a factor. I’ve met good lookin guys with the personality of dirt so I know that looks aren’t everything but I have to be _physically_ attracted to them first. I’ve gone out with some guys that my friends thought weren’t that good looking but they looked good to me and treated me well and that’s all that mattered. As for physical attributes, I like an athletic body with some good muscle definition, a little hair is o.k. but not too much. I also like a nice warm smile and friendly eyes. Personality wise, I like someone with a good sense of humor that likes to have a good time, treats me well and loves my kids and can talk to me about anything. I also need someone who doesn’t get jealous because my best friend is a man! You wouldn’t believe the kinds of problems that has caused in my relationships! ---
**Author:** ![ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisP_One_Kenobe)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/9 "2000-08-04T13:28:04Z")
Hmmmmm. It’s a good thing I’m married. My wife says that she likes the fact that I am semi Hairy (not Italian guy in speedos on the beach hairy). Since about 10th grade, I didn’t have a “happy trail”, I had a happy super highway! So I guess I lucked out… ---
**Author:** ![realidad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8baadc/32.png) [@realidad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/realidad)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/10 "2000-08-04T13:34:30Z")
I have a very big thing about guys being taller than me. I am almost 6 feet, so it isn’t always easy, but I can’t stand being with a guy who is shorter than me. I think it is something to do with feeling a little feminine and you can’t do that towering over someone. (IMHO) That is pretty much my only fast rule. I am not into blonde men at all, and prefer dark eyes, (The whole American indian, or Latin American look is to die for and will always turn my head.) but have ended up with people who are not what I classically find attractive because they are funny, and great to be with. I find guys who are not afraid to be emotional really attractive. I also love seeing a guy doing some kind of exercise or sport - I met my last boyfriend rollerblading - says something about the fact that they care about themselves which is a big turn on. ---
**Author:** ![astrangefish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bbce88/32.png) [@astrangefish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astrangefish)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/11 "2000-08-04T14:54:31Z")
> [@](#): > > I have a very big thing about guys being taller than me. I am almost 6 feet, so it isn’t always easy, but I can’t stand being with a guy who is shorter than me. I think it is something to do with feeling a little feminine and you can’t do that towering over someone. (IMHO) > That is pretty much my only fast rule. > I am not into blonde men at all, and prefer dark eyes, (The whole American indian, or Latin American look is to die for and will always turn my head.) but have ended up with people who are not what I classically find attractive because they are funny, and great to be with. I find guys who are not afraid to be emotional really attractive. I also love seeing a guy doing some kind of exercise or sport - I met my last boyfriend rollerblading - says something about the fact that they care about themselves which is a big turn on. heh…ironically I had the opposite problem with my last girlfriend. I’m 6ft 2" and she was 5ft 1". ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/12 "2000-08-04T15:14:59Z")
Hmmm … I like short guys who hate sports. Just goes to show you can’t please everybody. Otherwise, my one hard-and-fast requirement is that a guy be a good conversationalist. A quick wit helps (and reciting Monty Python scripts in a poor imitation of a British accent does NOT count), but what matters more is that he has something interesting to talk about. Things that are not interesting: your job, your income, your possessions, how badly your last girlfriend treated you, how you’d like to travel someday after you make a lot of money, jokes with some other person or group as the butt, how much you hated English (which happens to be the subject I teach), the house you’d like to buy before you’re thirty, the things you plan to own when you’ve made some more money, how much you can bench press, how insecure you feel around guys who make more money and can bench-press more, how you would like to improve yourself. Things that are interesting: places you have actually traveled to, non-work-related things you have done, jokes that show you can poke fun at yourself, cool people you know, books you have read. I suppose this doesn’t answer the original question, what initially attracts you to a random guy you see on the street, but I like to think I can weed out the losers within a few minutes of actual conversation. ---
**Author:** ![ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisP_One_Kenobe)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/13 "2000-08-04T15:32:37Z")
Dammit Fretful! What else is there to talk about?!? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![astrangefish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bbce88/32.png) [@astrangefish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astrangefish)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/14 "2000-08-04T15:37:02Z")
> [@](#): > > how much you hated English… Hey, I **am** English. ;)… ---
**Author:** ![wireless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f14d63/32.png) [@wireless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wireless)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/15 "2000-08-04T15:58:31Z")
Brains, brains, brains, brains, and a willingness to use them. Oh, and broad shoulders. ---
**Author:** ![SqrlCub](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SqrlCub](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SqrlCub)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/16 "2000-08-04T16:05:56Z")
I am attracted to a guy with a nice belly, body hair (facial and back hair are a plus), and a happy demeanor. White hair and white beards are a particular turn on. HO Ho Ho. Age is not really that important I will date a guy from around my age (25ish) on up. If they are skinny though, they can stay home and be the old maids that the gods intended them to be. HUGS! Sqrl ---
**Author:** ![lolagranola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ea5d25/32.png) [@lolagranola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lolagranola)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/17 "2000-08-04T16:16:42Z")
I love a confident man. Witty, brainy and goofy. Someone with a Bloom County/Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy kind of humour. I find that physical looks change for me as I get to know someone. Sometimes I’ll meet a guy that looks great, and as soon as I’ve talked to them for 5 minutes, I never see them as good looking again. Other people, I would never look twice at suddenly look incredibly handsome after a brief conversation. As far as pure looks go, without talking to them, I find that I tend to have “Rick Springfield Syndrome”. Tall, dark haired… ---
**Author:** ![Poysyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Poysyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poysyn)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/18 "2000-08-04T16:24:30Z")
Teeth. I have a thing about a guy’s smile. Dark men do it for me too. My BF is part aboriginal (Native Canadian) and looks Greek or Italian. I like that. But Smile is my biggest thing. Gotta have a nice smile. Example? Kilgore Trout - no teeth showing but nice smile My Cynical - nice smile, sideways and mischievious Iampunha - Nice smile Soulsling - nice straight, white teeth Lexicon - apparent good sense of humour Montfort - you just gotta smile back These are a few examples of nice, attractive smile. ---
**Author:** ![Poysyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Poysyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poysyn)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/19 "2000-08-04T16:25:43Z")
Obviously that was Mr. Cynical, damn freudian slips ---
**Author:** ![Initial\_Entry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e9a140/32.png) [@Initial\_Entry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Initial_Entry)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/20 "2000-08-04T16:35:32Z")
> [@](#): > > You know, I’d kill for that edit button to work…heh… […] …guys that don’t start up stupid threads suddenly sprongs to mind. This was on purpose, right? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116.md?page=2)