# What do women find attractive in a man? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 4, 2000, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116 "2000-08-04T12:32:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Zakalwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zakalwe/32/270_2.png) [@Zakalwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zakalwe)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/41 "2000-08-04T20:29:24Z")
Cal I have to both agree and disagree. Yes, there are a number of women who are hung up on height. There are also a lot who aren’t. As I said earlier, for a number of years now I have almost exclusively dated women who were taller than I am (some quite a bit, the tallest was 6’2!). Confidence seems to have a fair amount to do with it, both on their part and yours. You just can’t let it get to you… Sorry if I offend anyone with this, it’s truly not meant that way and there are exceptions to everything I said, this is all just in my personal experience. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/42 "2000-08-04T20:58:33Z")
Grem: No offence, and I hope I haven’t offered any. Just an observation. The obsession with height isn’t universal (Mrs. Cal hasn’t got it, fortunately!), but widespread enugh to be very frustrating to us of the shorter persuasion. ---
**Author:** ![Zakalwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zakalwe/32/270_2.png) [@Zakalwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zakalwe)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/43 "2000-08-04T21:09:05Z")
Ohh… Oops, Cal! The “no offense” comment in my original post was not at all intended for you (not that I hope you do take offense, I mean…oh, hell), I had used some (I thought) potentially inflammatory language (‘hung up on height’, etc) and wanted to make sure that no one took it as a personal attack. I’m on your side, man (I’m also your height). I was simply commenting that in my experience many tall women aren’t like that. Maybe you just had a run of bad luck (couldn’t have been too bad though, since there’s a Mrs. Cal!). grem _damn, still forgot to post a cool sig line_ ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/44 "2000-08-04T21:28:19Z")
Tall? Broad shoulders? Muscular arms? Jesus, you chicks are as shallow as guys. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/45 "2000-08-04T21:30:40Z")
I wish we could edit our posts. Then I could add: I’m bookmarking this thread to use as ammunition the next time an “All guys look at is boobs” thread comes up. As it will, within days. ---
**Author:** ![ChrisCTP](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@ChrisCTP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisCTP)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2000, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/46 "2000-08-05T00:51:33Z")
Yummy, artsy, moody English boys will do it for me everytime. ---
**Author:** ![astrangefish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bbce88/32.png) [@astrangefish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astrangefish)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2000, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/47 "2000-08-05T00:55:35Z")
> [@](#): > > Yummy, artsy, moody English boys I’m moody. I’m artsy. I’m English. Sadly I’m not yummy. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2000, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/48 "2000-08-05T01:31:06Z")
I seem to be inexplicably drawn to men with dark hair & mustaches. I never have been able to figure out quite why, but that always catches my eye. Long hair, too. But that’s just the physical stuff. It’s not really important. A sense of humor is _critical._ Particularly if it’s somewhat dry & cynical. I really like a guy who can laugh at himself, too. I like common sense in a man, too. To make me happy, a man does not need to know quantum physics. He _does_ need to know how to take care of himself, though. Knowing how to cook a few things, fix a few things, and dress himself decently is a big plus. Knowing how to do laundry helps too. Sensitivity & empathy are nice, too. No, you don’t have to be my sob sister. But sometimes, I just need a shoulder, and a strong, manly shoulder is always nice. Most importantly, though, _don’t try to change me._ I’m 33 years old, and well aware of my character flaws. Yes, they are legion. But I’m working on them, okay? It took me a looooooong time to get to the point where I like myself. Now I’m just fine-tuning. Oh, I’m married. So this is all stuff I’d look for if I was single. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2000, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/49 "2000-08-05T01:38:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by astrangefish \* > \*\* > I’m moody. I’m artsy. I’m English. Sadly I’m not yummy. \*\* Darlin’, if you’re moody, artsy and English, you’re automatically yummy. ---
**Author:** ![Shadowfox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Shadowfox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shadowfox)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2000, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/50 "2000-08-05T01:46:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Persephone \* > \*\*I seem to be inexplicably drawn to men with dark hair & mustaches. I never have been able to figure out quite why, but that always catches my eye. Long hair, too. > > But that’s just the physical stuff. It’s not really important. A sense of humor is _critical._ Particularly if it’s somewhat dry & cynical. I really like a guy who can laugh at himself, too. > > I like common sense in a man, too. To make me happy, a man does not need to know quantum physics. He _does_ need to know how to take care of himself, though. Knowing how to cook a few things, fix a few things, and dress himself decently is a big plus. Knowing how to do laundry helps too. > > Sensitivity & empathy are nice, too. No, you don’t have to be my sob sister. But sometimes, I just need a shoulder, and a strong, manly shoulder is always nice. > > Most importantly, though, _don’t try to change me._ I’m 33 years old, and well aware of my character flaws. Yes, they are legion. But I’m working on them, okay? It took me a looooooong time to get to the point where I like myself. Now I’m just fine-tuning. > > Oh, I’m married. So this is all stuff I’d look for if I was single. 😃 \*\* I swear, I think Persephone and me were separated at birth. The only difference being is that I prefer guys with shorter hair (not buzz cut short). Oh, she is also three years older than me. So we weren’t separated at birth, but we have to be related or something. I was also lucky in that I found a guy with all of the above qualities (except for I can’t get him to do the laundry or the dishes, but I’m still working on that). ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2000, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/51 "2000-08-05T02:06:33Z")
Okay, all you women who like skinny shapeless geeky balding guys of slightly above average height, intelligent, thoughtful, creative, who can make you laugh, have strong romantic streaks, no money or car, and have unique accents, line up ouside this thread. I’ll be conducting interviews from Thursday lunchtime. Clothing optional. ---
**Author:** ![astrangefish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bbce88/32.png) [@astrangefish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astrangefish)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2000, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/52 "2000-08-05T02:30:33Z")
Damnit GuanoLad…how’d you get to be so smooth? ---
**Author:** ![Surgoshan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Surgoshan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surgoshan)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2000, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/53 "2000-08-05T02:40:13Z")
Mich said lean and athletic? Sweet! Sadly, I’m not tall enough, or muscular enough for anyone else, it seems. Or balding. Or geeky (in looks). Thought there WAS someone who said something about guys “at least 5’9” ", I believe… ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2000, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/54 "2000-08-05T03:00:03Z")
I like skinny guys with toned muscles, but a muscular guy is nice too. Dark or gray eyes are things I’m attracted to most, and full/thick lips are nice to kiss. Overall look is important for first impression: if something looks amiss, I’m not digging it. Also, the right scent will turn me on. Too much cologne or funky body odor **will not** win me over, and I may avoid you because of it. I have a keen sense of smell, and too much annoys me in that dept. Also, height is a factor: I’m 5’9"; if you are 5’6" or shorter, I’m not interested. If you’re taller than me, as long as I don’t have to get on my tippy toes and you have to bend over to kiss me, I’m cool with it. ---
**Author:** ![Feynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecb155/32.png) [@Feynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feynn)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2000, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/55 "2000-08-05T06:05:48Z")
I’m just happy that Lola looked twice at me… ---
**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2000, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/56 "2000-08-05T18:03:45Z")
> [@](#): > > _originally posted by SmoothOperator_ > Having said that, I was initially attracted to a physical type. However, I have found that I became more attracted to certain men after I started to get to know them better. If I were currently available and looking, I know that I would be attracted to a man’s sense of humor, intelligence and eloquence, his kindness, but most of all I am attracted to men that will share themselves with me. I don’t want/like being closed off from my SO. WOW. What were you doing, reading my mind? Especially that last part, about hating to feel closed off from your SO. CanadianSue: DITTO. \*From FretfulPorp:\*Otherwise, my one hard-and-fast requirement is that a guy be a good conversationalist. A quick wit helps,but what matters more is that he has something interesting to talk about. Things that are interesting: places you have actually traveled to, non-work-related things you have done, jokes that show you can poke fun at yourself, cool people you know, books you have read. \*From lola:\*I love a confident man. Witty, brainy and goofy. Someone with a Bloom County/Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy kind of humour. \*From Swiddles:\*But the older I get, the more I realise it’s not a type, or a particular physical attribute. It’s chemistry, and if it isn’t there, it just ain’t gonna happen. \*From Libby:\*Confidence. Ambition. Brains. Wit.Must be open with his feelings–if something is obviously wrong, he’s not allowed to say “Nothing” when I ask him what it is. \*From lee:\*A guy that looks into my eyes when I see him and lets me know he is really glad to see me. Nothing beats knowing he wants to be here with me and not doing anything else. \*From Cristi:\*A sense of humor is critical. Particularly if it’s somewhat dry . I really like a guy who can laugh at himself, too.I like common sense in a man, too. To make me happy, a man does not need to know quantum physics. He does need to know how to take care of himself, though. Knowing how to cook a few things, fix a few things, and dress himself decently is a big plus. Knowing how to do laundry helps too. Sensitivity & empathy are nice, too. No, you don’t have to be my sob sister. But sometimes, I just need a shoulder, and a strong, manly shoulder is always nice. Thanks, ladies, for saying what I wanted so much better than I could have done. As for physical attributes, there are a wide variety that appeal to me. I do prefer that he be taller than I am, say in the 5’9-6’ range; and eyes I could get lost in forever. In fact the two best sets of eyes I’ve seen in a very long time belong to two of the posters here, Mr Bear \ and VestalBlue. Also, pipefitter’s eyes are really something. I like them all for different reasons, but it’s the eyes that tell the real story about who we are. As to whether I prefer slim, big, chuncky, whatever: it’s just not that important to me. My SO knows how much I adore him, and how he looks. Okay, thinking about him just makes me drool, and more lonely than before, so I’ll just go lie down and daydream for a while. \ ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2000, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/57 "2000-08-05T21:09:35Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by purplebear \* Okay, thinking about him just makes me drool, and more lonely than before, so I’ll just go lie down and daydream for a while. \ [QUOTE] So is _that_ what they’re calling it these days . . . that explains so much! ---
**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2000, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/58 "2000-08-05T22:13:31Z")
Paddy, Paddy, Paddy. Tsk. 😛 No comment. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Revedge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecae2f/32.png) [@Revedge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revedge)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2000, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/59 "2000-08-05T22:27:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by astrangefish \* > \*\* > Well I for one am curious as to what women find attractive in a man. > > \*\* My wife would say “A knife” ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2000, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/60 "2000-08-05T23:08:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by purplebear \* > \*\*Paddy, Paddy, Paddy. Tsk. 😛 > > No comment. 😉 \*\* But if you have no comment, why did you comment? \ They say good things come in threes . . . [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116.md?page=4)