# What do women find attractive in a man? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 4, 2000, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116 "2000-08-04T12:32:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![pipefitter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/97f17d/32.png) [@pipefitter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pipefitter)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2000, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/61 "2000-08-06T00:37:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CanadianSue \* > \*\*I love chests and strong arms. Being in someone’s arms is the most incredible feeling. Also, a man who is secure enough in himself to be honest and to be able to communicate. \*\* Oh well, I guess that leaves me out! Bummer ---
**Author:** ![pipefitter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/97f17d/32.png) [@pipefitter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pipefitter)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2000, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/62 "2000-08-06T00:44:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Persephone \* > \*\*I seem to be inexplicably drawn to men with dark hair & mustaches. I never have been able to figure out quite why, but that always catches my eye. > > But that’s just the physical stuff. It’s not really important. A sense of humor is _critical._ Particularly if it’s somewhat dry & cynical. I really like a guy who can laugh at himself, too. > > I like common sense in a man, too. To make me happy, a man does not need to know quantum physics. He _does_ need to know how to take care of himself, though. Knowing how to cook a few things, fix a few things, and dress himself decently is a big plus. Knowing how to do laundry helps too. > > Sensitivity & empathy are nice, too. No, you don’t have to be my sob sister. But sometimes, I just need a shoulder, and a strong, manly shoulder is always nice. > > \*\* Persephone, I didn’t know you were married to me, that is a perfect description, just ask Purplebear!!! ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2000, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/63 "2000-08-06T01:42:49Z")
This will probably be about as enlightening (and useful) as a commerical on a Pop Rock station, but hey, you asked… _Initial attraction_ is pretty variable. My internal landscape is more populated by books than Madison Avenue, but is all the more lethal for it. The main thing is…well, centerdness. Somebody who lives in his own mind and skin. And it shows. It might be a fireplug of a man in a suit/jeans; a youthful, buffed gazelle of a guy; a portly, jovial gent with a twinkling eye or a quiet heller disguised in whatever camo-covering that suits; a craggy survivor…the possiblities are endless. But someone who’s living his life and is aware, responsible and awake in the process–that’s intoxicating. Generally: an expansion on the above. I punch in at 5’11" barefoot and sniff at height issues. It’s bones and genetics, not choice. The absolute most fun I ever had was with a tough, funny, pissant little Irishman who was 5’5" max. The sense of humor and absurdity (and kindness) taught me that men could deadpan laugh over “model height” trophies, masquerading as a rich power broker (he was a dead-broke econ Ph.D. candidate) and find zest and companionship in the process. I’m not a pushover but damned if the wonderful men I’ve met haven’t made me a world class _appreciator_. Eyes, humor, generous appreciation, exhilarating manly differences…oh, yum. I don’t understand men and don’t want to. The differences are so much fun. Veb ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2000, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/64 "2000-08-06T02:04:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Michi \* > \*\*Are we talking strictly physical? > > I like a lean, athletic body. I don’t like a lot of hair. > SNIP > Some women complain about being geek magnets, I can’t even catch their attention. ☹ \*\* Hmm . . . I think I have a lean, athletic body. But I have lots of hair on my head, though not on my face. I’m a pretty unhairy guy, really. I suppose I’m a geek . . . and you’ve certainly caught my attention 🙂 but that’s obvious. So, Michi, how _ **U** _ doin’?😉 ---
**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2000, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/65 "2000-08-06T04:56:09Z")
Paddy, use your very active imagination. I’m sure you’ll come up with something. Errr…let me rephrase that. Oh, never mind. 😉 Persephone, yep, yep, yep! That he is! Just like that. 😃 Veb, I agree, that is _quite_ intoxicating! ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2000, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/66 "2000-08-06T05:11:15Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by iampunha \* \*\* > [@](#): > > Hmm . . . I think I have a lean, athletic body. But I have lots of hair on my head, though not on my face. I’m a pretty unhairy guy, really. > > I suppose I’m a geek . . . and you’ve certainly caught my attention 🙂 but that’s obvious. > > So, Michi, how _ **U** _ doin’?😉 \*\* Paddy, your body ceases to be lean and athletic at this point. What you have now is the body builder type body. When I think leand and athletic, I think swimmer’s body. MMM, but I still like some muscle too. That reminds me, where is my harem at this hour? ---
**Author:** ![Punoqllads](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d2c977/32.png) [@Punoqllads](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Punoqllads)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2000, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116/67 "2000-08-06T05:36:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CalMeacham \* > \*\*Hmmmm. Some of this is confirming my own experience. A few women have stated that they look for Tall in a guy, with JavaMaven setting 5’9" as a minimum. > > I found this extremely frustrating during my dating days. I’m 5’7", and all the women seemed to be looking for six-footers (or more). Not all of them but a significant portion.\*\* Cry me a river. I’m five feet tall; I figured this out _very_ quickly. You gotta just accept that a romatic relationship with those women wouldn’t work out, and so you’re avoiding the pain of the inevitable breakup. There are 11 million women in the US who are within 3 years of your age, surely at least one of them is a good match. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-a-man/28116.md?page=3)