# What do y'all think about "Reveal Parties"? (sex of unborn babies) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 30, 2019, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-yall-think-about-reveal-parties-sex-of-unborn-babies/839503 "2019-08-30T23:47:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2019, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-yall-think-about-reveal-parties-sex-of-unborn-babies/839503/101 "2019-09-04T23:37:06Z")
Having just been to one, it struck me as sort of a silly way to tell the future child’s future siblings what sort of sibling they were going to be getting. Certainly those 2-6 year olds were all very excited to learn they were getting a brother (though the youngest clearly didn’t have any idea what she was exited _about_). Everybody else there seemed to be more in the ‘meh, whatever, now cut the cake’ order of things. The pregnancy itself was exciting and congratulationworthy and such; the reveal of the sex, not so much. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2019, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-yall-think-about-reveal-parties-sex-of-unborn-babies/839503/102 "2019-09-06T01:18:02Z")
> [@BwanaBob](#): > > Next up… > > 1st Wet Dream Party > 1st Period Party > > You heard it here first. > [@Doctor\_Jackson](#): > > Nope, sorry. “Period parties” are a thing, and have been for a good while. Not linking, but you can easily search the term! Yeah. I’m 42 years old and my mom’s best friend asked her if we were going to do anything to celebrate my first period (ha, no), so the idea’s been around a long time. As for the OP, I see them as yet another vehicle for people to show off their narcissism and bask in the warm glow of believing everyone is fascinated by every detail of their lives. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2019, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-yall-think-about-reveal-parties-sex-of-unborn-babies/839503/103 "2019-09-09T01:56:47Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > Yeah. I’m 42 years old and my mom’s best friend asked her if we were going to do anything to celebrate my first period (ha, no), so the idea’s been around a long time. If _The Red Tent_ is any indication, a very long time. ---
**Author:** ![Teddie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7ab992/32.png) [@Teddie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Teddie)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2019, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-yall-think-about-reveal-parties-sex-of-unborn-babies/839503/104 "2019-09-10T22:15:02Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > This. My non-binary kid and I have spent a lot of time making fun of gender reveal parties…there is a lot of burden associated with gender - whether you are dealing with the expectations of femininity or those of toxic masculinity. And gender reveal parties seem to celebrate the worst of the “girls are pretty, boys are athletic” type of nonsense. > > But the great thing about gender reveal parties is that they are so fun to make fun of…our favorite theme “Cupcake or Studmuffin” All I have to do is say “cupcake or studmuffin” and we both crack up Wow, you and your kid, in your own words “Spend a lot of time’’ making fun of people celebrating discovering the gender of their unborn child. How lovely you’re teaching your child to be so mean and judgmental on how people choose to celebrate. Don’t tell me you and your kid are the least judgmental people just cos your kid is non-binary. You both sound like mean and nasty people. ---
**Author:** ![tricoteuse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tricoteuse/32/4334_2.png) [@tricoteuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tricoteuse)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2019, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-yall-think-about-reveal-parties-sex-of-unborn-babies/839503/105 "2019-09-11T13:14:26Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > Yeah. I’m 42 years old and my mom’s best friend asked her if we were going to do anything to celebrate my first period (ha, no), so the idea’s been around a long time. Isn’t it 30-ish years too late for that? 😛 I went to a reveal party a couple years ago. It was for a friend’s daughter. She already had twin boys were were 4 and they really wanted a little brother. She had them cut the cake together while Daddy was standing by with his phone to take pictures. When they saw pink crumbs on the knife they kind of froze and started asking Mommy questions like, is it really a girl, are you sure, we wanted a brother. Then they both kind of melted down so my friend and their Daddy had to take them out of the room until they settled down. My friend’s family was horrified but I thought it was hilarious. And yes the twins calmed down after a while and by the time Little Sister was born they were happy about it. ---
**Author:** ![Ruken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f475e1/32.png) [@Ruken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruken)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2019, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-yall-think-about-reveal-parties-sex-of-unborn-babies/839503/106 "2019-09-11T13:35:47Z")
> [@Teddie](#): > > Wow, you and your kid, in your own words “Spend a lot of time’’ making fun of people celebrating discovering the gender of their unborn child. That’s not what she wrote. She wrote they make fun of the party, not the people. Although “discovering the gender of their unborn child” is a pretty dumb thing to celebrate. Never mind that unborn children don’t have gender. ---
**Author:** ![Teddie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7ab992/32.png) [@Teddie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Teddie)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2019, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-yall-think-about-reveal-parties-sex-of-unborn-babies/839503/107 "2019-09-11T14:31:09Z")
> [@Ruken](#): > > That’s not what she wrote. She wrote they make fun of the party, not the people. Although “discovering the gender of their unborn child” is a pretty dumb thing to celebrate. Never mind that unborn children don’t have gender. Who are holding these parties? People are holding them. She’s choosing to make fun of the party, to me that includes making fun of the people holding said party. She’s also getting her kid to be unkind about the celebration too. Unnecessary nastiness. You do you, there’s need to be bitchy about how people choose to celebrate. ---
**Author:** ![Teddie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7ab992/32.png) [@Teddie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Teddie)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2019, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-yall-think-about-reveal-parties-sex-of-unborn-babies/839503/108 "2019-09-11T14:38:06Z")
> [@Ruken](#): > > Never mind that unborn children don’t have gender. :rolleyes: I think you realise in the context of discussing a reveal party we’re talking about having a baby girl or boy. We’re not revealing if the expectant mother is going to birth a kitten or a puppy, in context it’s obvious revealing a male or female. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2019, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-yall-think-about-reveal-parties-sex-of-unborn-babies/839503/109 "2019-09-11T16:22:14Z")
> [@Teddie](#): > > Who are holding these parties? People are holding them. She’s choosing to make fun of the party, to me that includes making fun of the people holding said party. She’s also getting her kid to be unkind about the celebration too. > > Unnecessary nastiness. You do you, there’s need to be bitchy about how people choose to celebrate. > [@Teddie](#): > > :rolleyes: > > I think you realise in the context of discussing a reveal party we’re talking about having a baby girl or boy. > > We’re not revealing if the expectant mother is going to birth a kitten or a puppy, in context it’s obvious revealing a male or female. And in the context of a trans kid who would have been misgendered by that sort of party at their own birth, I think you are being really harsh. A “gender reveal” party is sort of telling a trans kid, “no, you are wrong, your gender is what parts you were born with.” Too bad they aren’t called “sex reveal” party, although I suppose that might bring stripper to might. ---
**Author:** ![Teddie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7ab992/32.png) [@Teddie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Teddie)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2019, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-yall-think-about-reveal-parties-sex-of-unborn-babies/839503/110 "2019-09-11T16:41:32Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > And in the context of a trans kid who would have been misgendered by that sort of party at their own birth, I think you are being really harsh. A “gender reveal” party is sort of telling a trans kid, “no, you are wrong, your gender is what parts you were born with.” If a trans kid had been given a reveal party I’m thinking they would realise the sex revealed at that party was obviously not the sex they are. I’d hope a trans kid would be getting support to realise that they had most definitely not been born with the wrong parts but they’d been misgenered at birth. ---
**Author:** ![tricoteuse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tricoteuse/32/4334_2.png) [@tricoteuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tricoteuse)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2019, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-yall-think-about-reveal-parties-sex-of-unborn-babies/839503/111 "2019-09-11T17:26:07Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > And in the context of a trans kid who would have been misgendered by that sort of party at their own birth, I think you are being really harsh. A “gender reveal” party is sort of telling a trans kid, “no, you are wrong, your gender is what parts you were born with.” If the parent is an asshole and throws it in their trans child’s face, maybe. But there’s no way a parent can look into a crystal ball and say, ok, this child has female body parts but at age 10 will realize he is really a boy, so I better make the cake blue and dress him accordingly from birth. These parties happen way before the kid is born. It takes years before they would be self aware enough to know what their real gender is. I don’t see how it’s any different then baby pictures of girls in frilly pink dresses and baby boys in little overalls and flannel shirts. If the parents are supportive of the trans child now and in the future I don’t see why the past would be that big of a deal. ---
**Author:** ![eschrodinger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschrodinger/32/122_2.png) [@eschrodinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschrodinger)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2019, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-yall-think-about-reveal-parties-sex-of-unborn-babies/839503/112 "2019-09-11T17:28:28Z")
> [@Teddie](#): > > If a trans kid had been given a reveal party I’m thinking they would realise the sex revealed at that party was obviously not the sex they are. > > I’d hope a trans kid would be getting support to realise that they had most definitely not been born with the wrong parts but they’d been misgenered at birth. But reveal parties are all about conflating sex and gender. One of the ways of coping with people doing hurtful things is to make fun of the thing they are doing, and how it doesn’t make sense. Reveal parties in practice are not about just telling others, “here’s what kind of genitals my future kid is going to have, and the pronouns we will provisionally be using.” The reveal is typically all about the trappings of gender – pink and blue, frills vs sports, etc. And it seems like the purpose is to let people set their expectations of what the kid will be like, and what kinds of clothes and other gifts they can expect to give in the future. Like, grandmothers saying “Yay, I can’t wait to buy lots of princess dresses and have tea parties!” when the reveal is “it’s a girl!” The reveal is not “they are female, gender to be determined.” ---
**Author:** ![Royal\_Nonesutch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecb155/32.png) [@Royal\_Nonesutch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Royal_Nonesutch)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2019, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-yall-think-about-reveal-parties-sex-of-unborn-babies/839503/113 "2019-09-11T18:26:48Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > And in the context of a trans kid who would have been misgendered by that sort of party at their own birth, I think you are being really harsh. A “gender reveal” party is sort of telling a trans kid, “no, you are wrong, your gender is what parts you were born with.” So in 2019’s Woke America, giving an infant who is born with a penis and testes (or a vagina and ovaries) a blue or (pink) rattle is now a hate crime, eh? Somewhere, good ol’ President Donald John Trump is rubbing his hands in glee… ---
**Author:** ![Teddie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7ab992/32.png) [@Teddie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Teddie)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2019, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-yall-think-about-reveal-parties-sex-of-unborn-babies/839503/114 "2019-09-11T18:29:33Z")
> [@tricoteuse](#): > > If the parent is an asshole and throws it in their trans child’s face, maybe. But there’s no way a parent can look into a crystal ball and say, ok, this child has female body parts but at age 10 will realize he is really a boy, so I better make the cake blue and dress him accordingly from birth. > > These parties happen way before the kid is born. It takes years before they would be self aware enough to know what their real gender is. I don’t see how it’s any different then baby pictures of girls in frilly pink dresses and baby boys in little overalls and flannel shirts. If the parents are supportive of the trans child now and in the future I don’t see why the past would be that big of a deal. Agree wholeheartedly with this. > [@eschrodinger](#): > > But reveal parties are all about conflating sex and gender. One of the ways of coping with people doing hurtful things is to make fun of the thing they are doing, and how it doesn’t make sense. > > Reveal parties in practice are not about just telling others, “here’s what kind of genitals my future kid is going to have, and the pronouns we will provisionally be using.” The reveal is typically all about the trappings of gender – pink and blue, frills vs sports, etc. And it seems like the purpose is to let people set their expectations of what the kid will be like, and what kinds of clothes and other gifts they can expect to give in the future. Like, grandmothers saying “Yay, I can’t wait to buy lots of princess dresses and have tea parties!” when the reveal is “it’s a girl!” The reveal is not “they are female, gender to be determined.” If a kid is being born into the kind of family where Grandma says “Can’t wait to buy all the pink dresses for this baby girl.” having a reveal party (or not) won’t stop grandma buying all that pink. Maybe the kind of parents who do hve reveal parties are the types to dress their baby girl in pink, boy in blue. Who the heck are we to judge? As I said before, you do you. I’ve never dressed my child in specific colours or bought certain toys aimed at their sex. I wasn’t brought up wearing pink just cos I’m a girl, although at age 3 I decided pink was my favourite colour and wore it everyday for 5yrs 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mirtha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/67e7ee/32.png) [@Mirtha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mirtha)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2019, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-yall-think-about-reveal-parties-sex-of-unborn-babies/839503/115 "2019-09-11T18:59:38Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > In my culture, you’re not even supposed to build the crib until the baby is born - at the retail chains, you can order a full nursery and have its delivery postponed until, well, the delivery. Baby showers? Gender reveal parties? Haven’t these people heard of the evil eye? You wait until the baby is born, alive and healthy, and only \*then \*you celebrate. That’s exactly what we did. We had never heard of the Evil Eye, though. We just didn’t want to tempt fate, probably the same difference. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2019, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-yall-think-about-reveal-parties-sex-of-unborn-babies/839503/116 "2019-10-28T13:09:59Z")
Aaah. [A heartwarming story](https://edition.cnn.com/2019/10/27/us/gender-reveal-death-intl-hnk-scli/index.html) about a woman killed by debris at a gender reveal gone wrong… ---
**Author:** ![tricoteuse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tricoteuse/32/4334_2.png) [@tricoteuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tricoteuse)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2019, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-yall-think-about-reveal-parties-sex-of-unborn-babies/839503/117 "2019-10-28T14:21:32Z")
:eek: There is no idea that idiots can’t make into a catastrophe by trying to outdo each other! Too busy trying to go viral to use their brains. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2019, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-yall-think-about-reveal-parties-sex-of-unborn-babies/839503/118 "2019-10-28T22:59:17Z")
> [@doreen](#): > > I mean, if you want to have a “come here and eat cake event”, you can certainly do that without calling it a birthday party, baby shower , sprinkle or gender reveal party. One of the reasons my favorite holidays are Halloween, Thanksgiving, New Year, Easter and 4th of July =) An excuse to get together and consume massive quantities of food and have fun. ---
**Author:** ![PastTense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pasttense/32/14550_2.png) [@PastTense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PastTense)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2019, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-yall-think-about-reveal-parties-sex-of-unborn-babies/839503/119 "2019-10-29T07:40:20Z")
> [@Ike\_Witt](#): > > Aaah. [A heartwarming story](https://edition.cnn.com/2019/10/27/us/gender-reveal-death-intl-hnk-scli/index.html) about a woman killed by debris at a gender reveal gone wrong… That article didn’t have enough detail to explain what happened. > [@](#): > > “Our investigation showed that members of the Kreimeyer family were experimenting with different types of explosive material on Friday and Saturday in an attempt to record a gender reveal that could be posted on social media for friends and family,” a release from the sheriff’s office reads. “On Saturday afternoon five family members and the expectant mother gathered and placed gunpowder in the bottom of a homemade stand that was welded to a metal base plate. A hole had been drilled in the side for a fuse, a piece of wood was placed on top of the gunpowder and colored powder was placed on top of the board. Tape was then wrapped over the top of the metal tubing, inadvertently creating a pipe bomb. Instead of the gunpowder shooting the powder out the top of the stand, the stand exploded sending metal pieces flying.” > > Pamela Kreimeyer was standing with other family members approximately 45 feet from the device. It’s believed that the projectile that struck the victim then continued another 144 yards through the air coming to rest in a field. The incident remains under investigation. [https://marioncountytribune.com/2019/10/28/sheriff-releases-statement-on-gender-reveal-death/](https://marioncountytribune.com/2019/10/28/sheriff-releases-statement-on-gender-reveal-death/) Surely this sounds totally safe to everyone here? ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2019, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-yall-think-about-reveal-parties-sex-of-unborn-babies/839503/120 "2019-10-29T11:49:18Z")
Yeah, when I think of ‘party’ I think pipe bomb. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-yall-think-about-reveal-parties-sex-of-unborn-babies/839503.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-yall-think-about-reveal-parties-sex-of-unborn-babies/839503.md?page=7)