# What do you admire / envy about the opposite sex? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 17, 2004, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-admire-envy-about-the-opposite-sex/224981 "2004-01-17T20:03:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Soup\_du\_jour](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Soup\_du\_jour](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soup_du_jour)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2004, 9:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-admire-envy-about-the-opposite-sex/224981/41 "2004-01-18T09:02:10Z")
Wow. No matter how hard I try, I really can’t think of anything that causes me to envy women. Most things mentioned have a darker side to them that sort of cancels out any gain. -“Bat an eyelash and show some thigh, and you get whatever you want.” Sure, but that’s only if the guy thinks you’re hot. If not, too bad! If so, than it really isn’t all that good because you’d be leading him on. -“Ability to be emotionally unstable.” Yeah, but I kind of like my personal evenheadedness. Do I really want to fly off the handle every once in a while, even if I have an excuse? Sheez. Women get shafted on almost everything. They get paid less than men. They are the victims of domestic violence tons more than men. In case of an unwanted pregnancy, the man has the (albeit immoral) option to skip town, whereas the woman is stuck with the kid. Women do have more fashion options, yes, but bras just seem like they’d be bloody uncomfortable. Women are (somewhat) expected to look perfect in tight-fitting clothing, whereas the tightest thing I wear is a wristwatch, and I’m not worse off for it, in society’s eyes. Women have never held the reigns of power in this country. Heck, the highest political ranking held by a woman ever is House Minority Leader (Nancy Pelosi!) And that’s all in the West. Just think of how much being a woman must suck in places like Saudi Arabia, India, China, or Nigeria. Oh, and men can pee standing up, with shorter lines for the restroom. I guess what I admire most about women is that they are dealt this hand, and most of them handle it with grace, staying genuinely good in the face of all the junk they must put up with, with society’s demands, the “biological clock,” and the sheer number of idiot men populating this earth who just want to get inside their knickers. That, and the ability to bring life into this world. Being pregnant must be one of the not-so-fun things about life, but giving birth must be a glorious feeling for most women. No offense ladies, but I’m glad to have this Y chromosome. ---
**Author:** ![august9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7993a0/32.png) [@august9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/august9)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2004, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-admire-envy-about-the-opposite-sex/224981/42 "2004-01-18T10:40:16Z")
> [@Soup\_du\_jour](#): > > I guess what I admire most about women is that they are dealt this hand, and most of them handle it with grace, staying genuinely good in the face of all the junk they must put up with, with society’s demands, the “biological clock,” and the sheer number of idiot men populating this earth who just want to get inside their knickers. > > That, and the ability to bring life into this world. Being pregnant must be one of the not-so-fun things about life, but giving birth must be a glorious feeling for most women. Thank you! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2004, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-admire-envy-about-the-opposite-sex/224981/43 "2004-01-18T14:32:39Z")
> [@](#): > > Being pregnant must be one of the not-so-fun things about life, but giving birth must be a glorious feeling for most women. Glorious? It looks like the most painful thing I could imagine. If you mean later on, well, maybe. ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2004, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-admire-envy-about-the-opposite-sex/224981/44 "2004-01-18T14:39:13Z")
Let’s see: The ability to pee standing up definitely. The ability to be able to go out for a meal with one’s research group and not have senior members of staff hit on you. Those two will do for now. ---
**Author:** ![ouisey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9fc29f/32.png) [@ouisey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouisey)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2004, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-admire-envy-about-the-opposite-sex/224981/45 "2004-01-18T17:42:03Z")
As to women pissing standing up, apparently there’s a trick to it. One day I’ll figure it out, because it must be so handy. As with a lot of other women, I do envy men not having to look good all the time. I also envy the way men can bond in groups. I know that it happens with women too, but in so many cases, women turn out to be vicious, backstabbing bitches, climbing for the top rung in the social hierarchy. I’ve got loads of female friends, but haven’t yet had a bonding experience with a group of females that didn’t end in tears and hurt feelings for some of the party. I envy that men never say to each other “you’re so pretty, I just HATE you”. What the hell kind of compliment is that? ---
**Author:** ![UselessGit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/74df32/32.png) [@UselessGit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UselessGit)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2004, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-admire-envy-about-the-opposite-sex/224981/46 "2004-01-18T17:42:52Z")
I wish I could bag a “financially independant”, older woman so that I could stop working, stay home all day and cheat on her with younger, better looking women. I wish I could then divorce her and get **half** her posessions, even though I brought nothing to the table to begin with. I’m sorry, I’ve been trying hard to find something about women that I envy them for but I just can’t. I could never deal with all these mood swings and personality disorders. I’ve never met a woman who wouldn’t be considered at least a couple of sandwiches short of a picnic if she were a man. ---
**Author:** ![Psalex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/439d5e/32.png) [@Psalex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Psalex)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2004, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-admire-envy-about-the-opposite-sex/224981/47 "2004-01-18T19:59:29Z")
Geez, **UselessGit** - bitter much? Is the woman who gave birth to you also guilty of the indiscretion and insanity you just assigned to the fairer sex? Or did you spring directly from the forehead of Zeus without benefit of a womb? Pretty harsh comments for an otherwise friendly discussion- ---
**Author:** ![Randolph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Randolph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Randolph)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2004, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-admire-envy-about-the-opposite-sex/224981/48 "2004-01-19T02:37:31Z")
As has been mentioned, multiple orgasms. And dressing stylishly, being able to keep up with trends without looking like you’re auditioning for Queer Eye for the Straight Guy or a J. Crew catalog. But the one thing I’ve secretly envied about women over the years: Purses. They can carry all sorts of useful little things in there, and they’re always available! It’s an astonishing concept. Being a man’s man (sort of), I’m limited to four pockets, containing coins, keys, a wallet, some papers or a notebook, and one or two small, fairly flat miscellanea. Jacket and coat pockets are okay for brief, temporary storage, but they don’t fit _the system_. But on **GorillaMan** ’s “Never having to worry about inappropriate erections” front, I have an anecdote from my senior year at a military high school: The First Captain (highest student rank attainable) was a female, the first female to hold that position in the school’s 100+ year history. She was extraordinarily competent - and extraordinarily beautiful. During one afternoon drill, with the entire Corps assembled on the school’s quad, she called the company commanders to her for a briefing. She talked about… well, I honestly haven’t a clue what she talked about, because 1) it was raining, 2) it was cold, and 3) her nipples were so astonishingly rock-hard they were clearly visible through her t-shirt, her dress shirt, and her raincoat. (I doubt she was wearing a bra - she couldn’t’ve been.) So there we are, half a dozen male 18-year-old boys, alongside the school’s Commandant and Superintendent (both middle-aged men), trying to listen to what she’s saying, and we’re not retaining a gosh-darned thing. We can’t gawk - she’s looking at each of us and expecting responses, and it felt _disrespectful_, because she had proven herself beyond a shadow of a doubt and was addressing us in a professional setting - but let’s just say she got very clipped and distracted responses from all of us, including (especially) the middle-aged men. And you could tell all of the males’ thoughts were in complete disarray - it was actually one of those **bonding moments** mentioned earlier. Anyway, this went on for about ten minutes, and I’m sure she must have known what was up - she was far from stupid. But there was nothing any of us could do, especially considering the setting, and the hundreds of people watching. I’ll bet every man there thought at least one prayer of thanks that they were wearing a buttoned-up raincoat during that briefing. And I bet we all found our way to the bathrooms within ten minutes of getting back to the barracks. I know I did. ---
**Author:** ![Call\_me\_Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Call\_me\_Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Call_me_Frank)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2004, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-admire-envy-about-the-opposite-sex/224981/49 "2004-01-19T05:09:51Z")
> [@Pablito](#): > > Your gender isn’t the one responsible for the vast majority of murders, rapes, violent crime, and most wars, so you don’t feel the sense of guilt/shame about that Well said. ---
**Author:** ![blasphmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@blasphmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blasphmer)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2004, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-admire-envy-about-the-opposite-sex/224981/50 "2004-01-19T05:13:15Z")
nice tight asses. close knit circles of friends. wide assortment of clothes. the ability to be sexy. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2004, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-admire-envy-about-the-opposite-sex/224981/51 "2004-01-19T07:06:08Z")
> [@LunaSea](#): > > I envy the lack of breasts. I hate mine. There are plenty of men who have breasts. They are usually Obese and the beasts don’t lactate(normally), but still. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2004, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-admire-envy-about-the-opposite-sex/224981/52 "2004-01-19T07:10:28Z")
> [@Pablito](#): > > Your gender isn’t the one responsible for the vast majority of murders, rapes, violent crime, and most wars, so you don’t feel the sense of guilt/shame about that Not to start a war here, but I always wonder why anyone should feel guilty for something they didn’t personally do. It’s like feeling guilty it was cloudly today. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2004, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-admire-envy-about-the-opposite-sex/224981/53 "2004-01-19T07:15:05Z")
> [@sandythecur](#): > > One mood, all the time. Are you talking about the entire gender or certain people with little or no personality? Men have as many moods as women(unless you’ve been hiding something from us). ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2004, 8:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-admire-envy-about-the-opposite-sex/224981/54 "2004-01-19T08:30:27Z")
I really admire the fact that chicks can just go get sex any old time she feels like it. I also admire the ease of getting of out tickets. I have to put on an oscar calliber performance full of gut-wrenching Pathos and soul-spilling sorrow at my transgressions and yet A girl stands a much better chance with a simple “Hehe must have had a blonde moment, hehe” ---
**Author:** ![Xema](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9de053/32.png) [@Xema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xema)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2004, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-admire-envy-about-the-opposite-sex/224981/55 "2004-01-20T04:51:26Z")
> [@HPL](#): > > Not to start a war here, but I always wonder why anyone should feel guilty for something they didn’t personally do. It’s like feeling guilty it was cloudly today. I tend to agree. Having been (as near as I can tell) responsible for no murders, rapes or violent crimes and rather few wars, I’m tempted to believe that I’m not required to feel a great deal of guilt or shame here. ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2004, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-admire-envy-about-the-opposite-sex/224981/56 "2004-01-20T08:06:07Z")
> [@Xema](#): > > I tend to agree. Having been (as near as I can tell) responsible for no murders, rapes or violent crimes and rather few wars, I’m tempted to believe that I’m not required to feel a great deal of guilt or shame here. Sometimes that’s an extremist tactic. On a local college campus I once saw a very large banner that read MEN RAPE, MEN CAN STOP RAPE. Obviously the writer felt that making a large number of innocent men feel guilty would reform the behavior of the small number of rapists who never do. The sign put me in a bad mood all afternoon. ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2004, 9:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-admire-envy-about-the-opposite-sex/224981/57 "2004-01-20T09:11:16Z")
Envy: - Not being viewed as a potential rapist or pedophile simply because of your gender. - Having a wide assortment of fashions and colors to choose from in clothing stores. - Not being viewed as “weak” if you cry or are overly emotional. - Multiple orgasms and a stronger sex drive as you get older. - Being the default choice of parent in child custody hearings. - If attractive, generally getting what you want by flirting. - The ability to to wear something that looks attractive or sexy, rather than just covering your skin. - If you really want to have a child, you don’t have to get married, just laid. Admire: - Putting up with being viewed as a sex object by a lot of men and sometimes not being taken seriously (“blonde moments”). - Usually being the one to be honest about your feelings in a relationship and wanting it to go to the next level rather than stagnate. - Trying to end physical violence rather than start it. - Taking health concerns more seriously than men. Don’t envy: - Menstrual cramps. - Pain of childbirth. - Being pressured into looking attractive and youthful all the time. - Some women are not able to work in the same office with other women in the same age and attractiveness range. I don’t get that one, and it’s been told to me by more than a few women. - Lack of upper body strength and height. ---
**Author:** ![OM\_Waterfall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/51bf81/32.png) [@OM\_Waterfall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OM_Waterfall)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2004, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-admire-envy-about-the-opposite-sex/224981/58 "2004-01-20T11:35:59Z")
Not meaning to seem rude, but it seems to me that some of the things men envy about women, eg, getting to hang out naked with naked women, touching naked women, touching fully clothed women, etc. , really would not be that cool if substituted men for women, which I think the OP is referring to. In other words, I think that people in general are too entrenched in their own gender to really give a sensible response to this question. That said, I (a man of sorts) cannot possibly find anything to envy in the sex department, ie having a hairy naked man grunting on top of you, not to mention the finale. Maybe it’s just me who can’t think outside the box! ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2004, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-admire-envy-about-the-opposite-sex/224981/59 "2004-01-20T18:04:02Z")
> [@](#): > > I envy the attention women get. I would love to have members of the opposite sex show an interest in me daily. You know, I don’t think that really happens to most women on a daily basis. (Or maybe it’s just that I have a couple of anklebiters along wherever I go. 🙂 ) I don’t envy much. The physical strength that usually seems to go along with being a guy, I guess. Overall, I’m very happy to be female. _breaks into song_ _I enjoooy being a giiiiirl!_ Periods aren’t exactly fun, but I don’t mind them too much anymore, and overall, pregnancy is incredibly cool. My body can take two little bits of DNA, and then build and nourish a whole new person. Very spiffy, if somewhat painful. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2004, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-admire-envy-about-the-opposite-sex/224981/60 "2004-01-21T01:02:37Z")
> [@MLS](#): > > It must be nice to be able to take one’s shirt off on a hot summer day without being “inappropriate.” But, except for the beach or poolside, men really can’t do that either. Men cannot, no matter how hot it is, go into a casual restaurant shirtless and be “appropriate”. Women, on the other hand, can adjust to the hot weather by wearing skimpier attire and still be perfectly acceptably dressed in most public places. Men don’t really have the option of wearing anything at all skimpy, unless they want to run the risk of being though gay or weird, as someone already remarked. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-admire-envy-about-the-opposite-sex/224981.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-admire-envy-about-the-opposite-sex/224981.md?page=4)