# What do you call jokes. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 7, 2005, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-jokes/315963 "2005-08-07T05:02:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ava\_Gina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Ava\_Gina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ava_Gina)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2005, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-jokes/315963/1 "2005-08-07T05:02:18Z")
What do you call 1000 heavily armed lesbians? Militia Etheridge. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2005, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-jokes/315963/2 "2005-08-07T05:13:52Z")
What do you call a guy who can bench press 500 and use the word ‘sesquipedalian’ in a sentence? William F. **Bulky** ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2005, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-jokes/315963/3 "2005-08-07T07:57:19Z")
Call them anythjing you like, they still won’t come to you. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2005, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-jokes/315963/4 "2005-08-07T07:59:32Z")
Weak one: What do you call a fish with no eye? fsh ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2005, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-jokes/315963/5 "2005-08-07T11:56:29Z")
> [@1920s Style "Death Ray"](#): > > Call them anythjing you like, they still won’t come to you. What do you call a dog with no legs! Oh, wait… Okay, what do you call your mother in law driving your brand new Mustang off a cliff? Mixed emotions! (Yeah, it’s low class and mysogi… misagy… misogy… ah fuck it! It’s a bad joke.) ---
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2005, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-jokes/315963/6 "2005-08-07T12:08:10Z")
What do you call a drummer who just broke up with his girlfriend? Homeless. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2005, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-jokes/315963/7 "2005-08-07T12:47:04Z")
What do you call a deer with one eye? No idea. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2005, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-jokes/315963/8 "2005-08-07T13:02:43Z")
What do you call a man with a wooden head? Edward. What do you call a man with two wooden heads? Edward Wood. What do you call a man with three wooden heads? Edward Woodward. [http://pedia.newsfilter.co.uk/wikipedia/e/ed/edward\_woodward.html](http://pedia.newsfilter.co.uk/wikipedia/e/ed/edward_woodward.html) ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2005, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-jokes/315963/9 "2005-08-07T14:14:50Z")
> [@glee](#): > > What do you call a man with a wooden head? Heh–this joke made no sense at all to me until I read your location. I wonder how many jokes are like that, jokes that are nonsensical to folks who speak the same language but with different accents? What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back when you throw it? A stick. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2005, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-jokes/315963/10 "2005-08-07T14:28:53Z")
What do you call a dear with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea. ---
**Author:** ![Bob\_Scene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Bob\_Scene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bob_Scene)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2005, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-jokes/315963/11 "2005-08-07T15:30:44Z")
What do you call a woman flying an airplane? A _ **pilot.** _ You sexist bastard. ---
**Author:** ![Jennyrosity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@Jennyrosity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennyrosity)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2005, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-jokes/315963/12 "2005-08-07T19:26:20Z")
A man goes into a fish shop with a cod under his arm. He says to the fish monger: “'Scuse me mate, do you do fish cakes?” Fish monger says: “Yeah, course we do.” Man says: “Great! It’s his birthday today!” ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2005, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-jokes/315963/13 "2005-08-07T19:50:40Z")
What do you call a million lawyers at the bottom of the sea? An excellent start. ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2005, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-jokes/315963/14 "2005-08-07T19:53:09Z")
My standard complement: What do you call a man who comes through your mailbox? Bill. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who hangs on your wall? Art. What do you call a man who lies on the ground in front of your door? Matt. What do you call a man who’s been buried in a bog for 20 years? Pete. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2005, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-jokes/315963/15 "2005-08-07T20:01:11Z")
What do you call a woman with no arms, no legs, and turned inside out? Ava Gina! ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2005, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-jokes/315963/16 "2005-08-07T20:07:29Z")
> [@Beware of Doug](#): > > What do you call a woman with no arms, no legs, and turned inside out? > Ava Gina! You devil! How could I be so blind? ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2005, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-jokes/315963/17 "2005-08-07T20:22:26Z")
> [@Spatial Rift 47](#): > > My standard complement: You look nice. (Yeah, I cain’t spail, hurts my readin, too) ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2005, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-jokes/315963/18 "2005-08-07T20:27:12Z")
> [@Spatial Rift 47](#): > > What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who hangs on your wall? > > Art. . . . in the ocean? Bob. What do you call two guys WNAAL hanging on your wall over the window? Curt ‘n’ Rod. ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2005, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-jokes/315963/19 "2005-08-07T23:00:58Z")
What do you call a forum for “arts and entertainment”? Answer: Cafe Society. What do you call a forum for joke after joke with no rhyme or reason connecting them? Answer: MPSIMS. ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_meister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolf_meister/32/15202_2.png) [@wolf\_meister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_meister)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2005, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-jokes/315963/20 "2005-08-07T23:12:42Z")
What do you call a guy who hangs around with musicians? **A drummer !!!** Disclaimer: Okay, I was rather politically incorrect in thinking that only guys are drummers. AND I’m sure I’m going to catch Hell from _all_ those drummers who _do_ consider themselves musicians. (Both of them 😃 ) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-jokes/315963.md?page=2)