# What do you call your genitals? What about your partner's? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 29, 2009, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-genitals-what-about-your-partners/501385 "2009-06-29T19:37:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2009, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-genitals-what-about-your-partners/501385/1 "2009-06-29T19:37:35Z")
The “What are your litmus tests for screening or ending dates?” thread got me to thinking about this very weird subject. I’m not talking about on a message board or in a doctor’s office, but in the bedroom or in an intimate relationship? My own: Cock, it, or me. (As in “suck me.”) NEVER dick or penis. Hers: Pussy, cunt, kitty, it, you. (As in “I want to put it in you.”) With certain past women, cookie, flower. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2009, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-genitals-what-about-your-partners/501385/2 "2009-06-29T19:51:11Z")
Cock and pussy. She blanches at the word cunt, and both of us feel the word penis is too wimpy sounding for what it really means and does. ---
**Author:** ![Caricci](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Caricci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caricci)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2009, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-genitals-what-about-your-partners/501385/3 "2009-06-29T20:07:47Z")
Miss V and Junior. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2009, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-genitals-what-about-your-partners/501385/4 "2009-06-29T20:16:46Z")
Dick and “it”. I call her boobs Carl and Bob but she calls them Victoria and…something i can’t remember. Why man names, you ask? Cuz it’s like walking into my favorite bar and seeing the regulars already saddled up to the bar. I promptly take a spot between them. I told my mother this, who then looked directly at my GF’s rack and yelled “NORM!!!” ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2009, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-genitals-what-about-your-partners/501385/5 "2009-06-29T20:34:17Z")
> [@corkboard](#): > > Cock and pussy. She blanches at the word cunt, and both of us feel the word penis is too wimpy sounding for what it really means and does. Same here. Although, he’s a huuuuge fan of _2001_ so from time to time I’ll make monolith jokes. Also “bone flute,” thanks to the boys in my “sexy Magic: The Gathering” thread. But I don’t think I’d use either of those euphemisms during _the act_. ---
**Author:** ![Soul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Soul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2009, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-genitals-what-about-your-partners/501385/6 "2009-06-29T20:44:00Z")
“Thor’s Hammer” and “Blissful Valhalla.” Alternatively, “hoo dangle” and “hoo hoo dilly.” ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2009, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-genitals-what-about-your-partners/501385/7 "2009-06-29T21:27:07Z")
Boris and Natasha ---
**Author:** ![Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimmy_Gibbler)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-genitals-what-about-your-partners/501385/8 "2009-06-30T00:24:43Z")
“Mr. Bojangles” and “Madame de Vajayjai.” Other times “The Monsignor” and “Lady Palourde-Barbue, the Marchioness of Twatshire.” Oh, no, not really. It’s “Stephen” and “Jacinda.” ---
**Author:** ![moldmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@moldmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moldmonkey)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-genitals-what-about-your-partners/501385/9 "2009-06-30T01:37:22Z")
My penis is “George”. It is a play on the Loony Tunes cartoon with two dogs that was a play on Of Mice & Men. The big, dumb dog says he wants a “bunny wabbit” and he will: “love him and hold him, squeeze him and pet him, and call him George” I refer to Mrs Monkeys privates as Virginia. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-genitals-what-about-your-partners/501385/10 "2009-06-30T01:39:25Z")
Do they come when you call? ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-genitals-what-about-your-partners/501385/11 "2009-06-30T02:08:23Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > Do they come when you call? I think you misspelled a word. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-genitals-what-about-your-partners/501385/12 "2009-06-30T14:08:53Z")
No real names, just ‘stuff’ as in ‘touch my stuff’ or ‘I love your girl stuff’. When more direct, we usually say “cock” for his and “girl parts” for mine. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-genitals-what-about-your-partners/501385/13 "2009-06-30T14:15:46Z")
> [@moldmonkey](#): > > My penis is “George”. It is a play on the Loony Tunes cartoon with two dogs that was a play on Of Mice & Men. Cats. It’s sad when I guy doesn’t recognize a couple of pussies when he sees them. ---
**Author:** ![StaudtCJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90ced4/32.png) [@StaudtCJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StaudtCJ)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-genitals-what-about-your-partners/501385/14 "2009-06-30T14:27:46Z")
We use “The Creature” for my husband’s creature, because it has a mind of its own. (My teenage son has taken to calling his the creature as well, so we now have Mr. Creature and Creature Junior.) Saying “Can I play with the creature when we get home” is sure to get giggles from my family and baffled looks from everyone else. Also, Yoni, for my genitalia, because it’s the only word I’ve ever found that wasn’t used as a put-down or insult, was considered non-derogatory, was easily pronounced, and was acceptable in polite society. It’s also a pretty word, in my opinion. ---
**Author:** ![Baby\_Driver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@Baby\_Driver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baby_Driver)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-genitals-what-about-your-partners/501385/15 "2009-06-30T14:51:47Z")
Cock for him. Pussy, or cunt for me. Alternately, Phoebe. No particular significance to the name. The name just sort of seemed right, so one day I told my (then current, now-ex), “I’ve decided to name my vagina Phoebe”, and he said the name suits her, and that was that. ---
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-genitals-what-about-your-partners/501385/16 "2009-06-30T15:00:04Z")
in general discussion, the wife has a “hoo ha” and I have “junk”. During the act, it gets much much cruder. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-genitals-what-about-your-partners/501385/17 "2009-06-30T15:09:32Z")
> [@Baby\_Driver](#): > > Pussy, or cunt for me. Welcome to the boards! Can I get you something? A cold drink? Fur-lined handcuffs? ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-genitals-what-about-your-partners/501385/18 "2009-06-30T15:17:54Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > Dick and “it”. I call her boobs Carl and Bob but she calls them Victoria and…something i can’t remember. Why man names, you ask? Cuz it’s like walking into my favorite bar and seeing the regulars already saddled up to the bar. I promptly take a spot between them. I told my mother this, who then looked directly at my GF’s rack and yelled “NORM!!!” I wish I could believe that “my mother” was another euphemism for your girlfriend’s vagina, but it’s clearly not. That’s really creepy. We don’t have special names, just all the normal four-letter words when we’re horny. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-genitals-what-about-your-partners/501385/19 "2009-06-30T15:32:29Z")
> [@StaudtCJ](#): > > We use “The Creature” for my husband’s creature, because it has a mind of its own. (My teenage son has taken to calling his the creature as well, so we now have Mr. Creature and Creature Junior.) Saying “Can I play with the creature when we get home” is sure to get giggles from my family and baffled looks from everyone else. > Also, Yoni, for my genitalia, because it’s the only word I’ve ever found that wasn’t used as a put-down or insult, was considered non-derogatory, was easily pronounced, and was acceptable in polite society. It’s also a pretty word, in my opinion. I would be scarred for life if I ever found out what my parents called my dad’s penis. I used to date a girl that referred to her boobs and vagina as Flopsy, Mopsy and Peter Cotton-Tail. ---
**Author:** ![Baby\_Driver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@Baby\_Driver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baby_Driver)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2009, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-genitals-what-about-your-partners/501385/20 "2009-06-30T16:01:47Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Welcome to the boards! Can I get you something? A cold drink? Fur-lined handcuffs? Thanks for the welcome! If you can get me a hefeweizen and a new boyfriend, I’d be obliged 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-genitals-what-about-your-partners/501385.md?page=2)