# What do you call your instrument? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 14, 2002, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-instrument/118959 "2002-07-14T22:46:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![TheRob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@TheRob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheRob)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2002, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-instrument/118959/21 "2002-07-16T07:26:25Z")
“The/my ESP” or “the/my Hammet” or “the/my guitar”. It’s a KH-502 Kirk Hammet signature model ESP. My old Ibanez 320DX… “The piece of shit with the bendy neck.” ---
**Author:** ![Already\_in\_Use](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@Already\_in\_Use](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Already_in_Use)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2002, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-instrument/118959/22 "2002-07-16T07:40:01Z")
I was thinking of naming my guitar Mildred. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2002, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-instrument/118959/23 "2002-07-17T01:24:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jonathan Chance \* > \*\*Call me unimaginative. > > I call them: > > The solid-body > The hollow-body > The acoustic > > Hey, I had a cat named ‘Cat’ and a snake named ‘Snake’, too, all right? \*\* iI had a cat named Cat once, too. **tlw** - did you hear the one about the violist who dreamed she was in the pit for _The Nutcracker_ she woke up and she was in the pit for _The Nutcracker_\* Sorry, couldn’t resist that one. I’ve been thinking about buying a viola myself. I like the sound of the instrument- kind of mellow alto, not so darned sweet as a violin. I think I could probably kick some killer blues licks out of a viola. My last job before I meved to Vegas was in a music store warehouse (couldn’t have afforded Isadore w/out my employee discount) and I used to “play test” some of the instruments before I shipped them. Violas are cool. ---
**Author:** ![milo\_minderbinder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecb155/32.png) [@milo\_minderbinder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/milo_minderbinder)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2002, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-instrument/118959/24 "2002-07-17T01:40:48Z")
My Les Paul is called just that. My bright orange, 80’s Charvel with the “Don’t be a dick” sticker on the other hand is dubbed **The Pointy Guitar of Doom**. Might as well mock it myself before other people do. milo ---
**Author:** ![dweezil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3ec8ea/32.png) [@dweezil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dweezil)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2002, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-instrument/118959/25 "2002-07-17T13:59:45Z")
We had a distortion pedal once we nicknamed the “Noisemagnet 2000.” Mid-80’s digital distortion. Distortion is the right word. Acres and acres of horrible ugly garbage. Occasionally a note would come through. And sometimes my little amp would get cordless phone conversations. Good times. The only thing better was the ungrounded ampeg amp. If you left your strings uncut, the guitar head became an electric jellyfish, electrocuting whomever stood too close. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2002, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-instrument/118959/26 "2002-07-17T14:27:50Z")
I called my clarinet Christine. (after the evil car in the King book) ---
**Author:** ![Ian\_Rey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/77aa72/32.png) [@Ian\_Rey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ian_Rey)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2002, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-instrument/118959/27 "2002-07-17T15:04:12Z")
My bassoon is named Adelaide. The tenor sax’s nickname is Gonk, but her real name is Nadine. My clarinet is named Oh Why Can’t You Play In Tune, or Pawn Shop for short. ---
**Author:** ![fighting\_ignorant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ac8455/32.png) [@fighting\_ignorant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fighting_ignorant)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2002, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-instrument/118959/28 "2002-07-17T16:14:25Z")
> [@](#): > > did you hear the one about the violist who dreamed she was in the pit for The Nutcracker > > she woke up and she was in the pit for _The Nutcracker_ As a non-musician, I really don’t get this. Can someone enlighten me!!?!?! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![7string](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/7/8baadc/32.png) [@7string](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/7string)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2002, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-instrument/118959/29 "2002-07-17T17:19:20Z")
I’ve got a Conkin Sidewinder 7-String Bass that I call “The Bitch.” I used to have a huge stack of amplifiers I played through (Biamped of course) that I called “The Monster.” And, most recently, I just got a Dean 7-String Guitar, that I heavily modified, that I call “Mini Bitch.” ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2002, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-instrument/118959/30 "2002-07-17T17:35:42Z")
> [@](#): > > As a non-musician, I really don’t get this. Can someone enlighten me!!?!? Apparently she was a musician, seated in the _orchestra_ pit, playing for a performance of The Nutcracker, fell asleep, dreamed that’s where she was, only to awake and find she WAS. OK? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![7string](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/7/8baadc/32.png) [@7string](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/7string)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2002, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-instrument/118959/31 "2002-07-17T19:16:36Z")
Did I put Conkin? Oh, dear… I meant Conklin. It really is a beautiful piece of wearable furniture. ---
**Author:** ![MaryFoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90db22/32.png) [@MaryFoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaryFoo)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-instrument/118959/32 "2002-07-18T01:34:45Z")
\>My Black Strat. It’s Mexican made. I ought to find a really kick-ass Mexican nobleman’s name to give to it. Hey, I was going to suggest the name of the great Spanish duke, who at the time of the disastrous Lisbon earthquake, reported to the King. (All the other advisors were saying it was the wrath of God, and he needed to repent, and fast, and have everyone repent, and cease sinning, and walk to the Cathedral on their knees, and slay the Jews and unbelievers, etc etc). So the Duke said what they needed was to “Bury the dead and feed the living.” Well, I checked Google, and it’s in the Encyclopedia Britannica, but it was a Portuguese Marquess of Pombal, which is a stretch for Mexico, but he was definitely kick-ass. ---
**Author:** ![Squeeker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ea924/32.png) [@Squeeker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squeeker)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-instrument/118959/33 "2002-07-18T02:02:43Z")
Clarinet: Iocunda, which means happy (feminine form) in Latin. Guitar: Doom Spot. This actually has a story behind it. On the 6th string, there is a certain spot (3rd fret) that if played around somone will buzz horribly, yet when played by yourself is just fine. ---
**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-instrument/118959/34 "2002-07-18T03:11:33Z")
My Fender Jazz Bass is named Tina. ---
**Author:** ![tolyri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@tolyri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tolyri)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-instrument/118959/35 "2002-07-18T04:06:06Z")
My Takamine acoustic is called Rose. My violin is called “Fond Memory” now, as an ex stole it and pawned it a few years back. I used to call her Lacey, for the piece of lace tied around the peg. ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_Hat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f0a364/32.png) [@Bad\_Hat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_Hat)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-instrument/118959/36 "2002-07-18T04:34:00Z")
Instruements are named Black Hollowbody electric- Sam (has a Yosemite Sam sticker on the pick guard) White Tele- the Wave (2) in memorium of the stolen and much lamented black Strat called The Wave Acoustic- Huck and the rest, like **seven** ’s are called MIDI I/O 1, MIDI I/O 2, MIDI I/O 3, etc… i _currently_ have a cat named Cat. ---
**Author:** ![Spritle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Spritle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spritle)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-instrument/118959/37 "2002-07-18T19:42:06Z")
I never considered myself enough of a musician to name any of my instruments. I never cared enough for a guitar to name it. Hell, it’s a guitar; it ain’t family. The guitars in my life are/were the Kent the Epiphone the electric the black one (sometimes called “the guitar”) the 12-string the custom guitar or “the one I had made” as in: Hand me that guitar. _which one?_ The one I had made. (sometimes called the “peace” guitar because of the inlay I cut for the headstock.) The didgeridoo is called the didgeridoo, the didge, or djoo-doo, which is what my 21 month old calls it. (He can play the thing as well as I.) ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-instrument/118959/38 "2002-07-19T00:15:08Z")
My P-bass is named Tito, after the Jackson’s bass player. ---
**Author:** ![oliversarmy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/eb8c5e/32.png) [@oliversarmy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oliversarmy)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-instrument/118959/39 "2002-07-19T02:19:44Z")
My old bass is called “My Old Bass.” My new bass is called “My New Bass.” My new amplifier is called “My Great New Amplifier.” My old amplifier was called “The Fart Machine.” ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Lowry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Sam\_Lowry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Lowry)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-instrument/118959/40 "2002-07-19T04:50:47Z")
My Takamine acoustic guitar is Dave, because it’s my trusty old friend and to me that’s a trusty old friend name. My black Ibanez electric is named Jeremy, in honor of my beautiful guitar teacher I once took lessons from. No, he did not know the guitar’s name, but I think of him every time I run my fingers up and down the neck. Lord I love that guitar. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-instrument/118959.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-instrument/118959.md?page=3)