# What do you call your sicknesses? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 8, 2011, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-sicknesses/605527 "2011-12-08T17:12:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2011, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-sicknesses/605527/21 "2011-12-09T02:50:59Z")
Ague. Grippe. Creeping Crud. > [@Ellen\_Cherry](#): > > I usually say I feel pookie. Which, if you ever heard me talk, is about my usual vocabulary. You feel **pookie**??? How does pookie react to this? Pookie is something you name your pet. I knew of a pet bird named Pookie, and a pet dog named Pookie, and Soupy Sales had a pet lion named Pookie. (ETA: You can find Pookie of Soupy Sales fame on YouTube.) ---
**Author:** ![Lacunae\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2011, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-sicknesses/605527/22 "2011-12-09T03:14:28Z")
I might have a bug, feel icky, have the creeping cruds, or have a cold/the sniffles. Or, if a specific body part is bothering me, I diagnose myself with “(blank) cancer.” That is, a runny nose is nose cancer, or a twinge in the bendy part of my leg is knee cancer. The latter nomenclature is based on a spell I went through of self-diagnosis via internet research, which I finally realized was ridiculous, and began making fun of myself. ---
**Author:** ![Motorgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e36b37/32.png) [@Motorgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Motorgirl)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2011, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-sicknesses/605527/23 "2011-12-09T03:15:39Z")
> [@Sudden\_Kestrel](#): > > We call that The Splatters. We call that The Flaming Shlotz ---
**Author:** ![Motorgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e36b37/32.png) [@Motorgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Motorgirl)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2011, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-sicknesses/605527/24 "2011-12-09T03:16:41Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > Ague. > Grippe. We enjoy employing those two also. As well as complaining about our lumbago. ---
**Author:** ![Gesturing\_Mildly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/65b543/32.png) [@Gesturing\_Mildly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gesturing_Mildly)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2011, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-sicknesses/605527/25 "2011-12-09T16:59:02Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > I had a cold 2 weeks ago that has turned into a sinus infection. Not to be too gross, but anytime I have what I call a cold, it involves yellowish-greenish stuff when I blow my nose. Isn’t that infection? Doesn’t that mean I have a sinus infection? Is there anything that “a cold” describes that doesn’t involve a sinus infection? Not trying to be snarky against you, ZipperJJ, just curious about the actual referent for all of these terms. I’ll admit I used to be one of those people who thought I had the flu when it was actually just a really bad cold. Then I got the flu. I’ll never make that mistake again. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2011, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-sicknesses/605527/26 "2011-12-09T17:13:00Z")
Cooties. ---
**Author:** ![lazybratsche](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ba8739/32.png) [@lazybratsche](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lazybratsche)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2011, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-sicknesses/605527/27 "2011-12-09T17:30:34Z")
If I’m sniffly and miserable, but otherwise fine, I’ve got a cold and I’ll go about my usual business with a box of tissues at my side. If I’ve got a fever and aches and am so miserable that I can’t function, I’ve got a bad cold and I’ll stay home for a day or two (though lesser symptoms last maybe 3-5 days). If, on top of all of that, I have a serious fever that lasts a few days, I’m aching bad enough that I don’t even want to sit up and eat something in bed, and I’m puking up most of what I do manage to eat, then I’ve got the flu. That might knock me out of commission for most of a week. > [@Gesturing\_Mildly](#): > > Not to be too gross, but anytime I have what I call a cold, it involves yellowish-greenish stuff when I blow my nose. Isn’t that infection? Doesn’t that mean I have a sinus infection? Is there anything that “a cold” describes that doesn’t involve a sinus infection? > > Not trying to be snarky against you, ZipperJJ, just curious about the actual referent for all of these terms. The distinction is that a “cold” is caused by a virus, somewhere in the nose or throat (but not the sinuses). After a while it can leave you congested, which means your sinuses can’t drain and bacteria can grow there. That’s usually what’s referred to as a sinus infection; it means lots of unpleasant congestion and/or drainage but no fever or aches. A sinus infection can also last for weeks. ---
**Author:** ![amaguri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/49beb7/32.png) [@amaguri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amaguri)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2011, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-sicknesses/605527/28 "2011-12-09T18:17:18Z")
My friend always refers to a minor illness as “feeling puny,” which for some reason I find adorable. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2011, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-sicknesses/605527/29 "2011-12-09T18:50:54Z")
I just say I have a cold, a bad cold or if it’s worse than that, but not serious “I’m sick”. ---
**Author:** ![Madame\_Joy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@Madame\_Joy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Madame_Joy)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2011, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-sicknesses/605527/30 "2011-12-09T21:22:03Z")
> [@iamthewalrus\_3](#): > > Minor respiratory infection is “a cold”. > > Something that’s persistent in my sinuses, I’ll go see a doctor about and get antibiotics for (if it’s bacterial): “sinus infection” > > Gastrointestinal distress: “food poisoning” (there’s no such thing as a “stomach flu”, and it’s food/water-borne illness is more likely bacterial than viral) > > I luckily haven’t had the flu in many years (I get a vaccine every year). I am also rankled by people who use “the flu” to mean a bad cold. I was sick almost the whole month of November with a cold that turned into a sinus infection that lingered. This. On the other hand, I’m even more “rankled” at people who, when I have an actual flu or acute bronchitis, refer to it as “a cold.” Actually, nearly every time I catch any type of upper respiratory infection, it turns into another bout of bronchitis. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2011, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-sicknesses/605527/31 "2011-12-09T21:55:12Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > If I’m afraid I’m going to die, I have a cold. If I’m hoping to die, I have the flu. I used to wonder about how to tell the difference between a cold and the flu. Then one day, I got the flu. And that was the day I learned that if you have to ask, you don’t have it. ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2011, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-sicknesses/605527/32 "2011-12-09T22:23:24Z")
> [@sandra\_nz](#): > > Lurgy. This > [@Gleena](#): > > Culturally in Australia they refer to colds as the flu, and it annoys me. I do wish that “culturally in Australia” would die a horrible death in a fire, because again, no. Not everywhere. Some people in some areas may well refer to any sort of respiratory/mucous-system illness as a “flu”, but in my experience most people are likely to go “Bleh, I’ve got a really nasty cold”, and only say “I’ve got the flu” if a doctor has actually said “You’ve got the flu”. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2011, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-sicknesses/605527/33 "2011-12-10T03:02:18Z")
We use pet names around work if everyone is catching the same symptoms. If they’re cold-like symptoms, we all just have “the cooties,” but if what’s going around is, uh, evacuative, we call it “the parvo.” Our work is group-centered without desks of our own, just shared space in the same room, so everyone touches everything and despite tons of hand-washing and use of sanitizers, we usually all get the same virus over the course of a couple of weeks. I make sure to get a flu shot these days! ---
**Author:** ![Shawn\_K\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Shawn\_K\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shawn_K_1)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2011, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-sicknesses/605527/34 "2011-12-10T03:08:10Z")
I just say I have The Plague ---
**Author:** ![Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brown_eyed_girl/32/3574_2.png) [@Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brown_Eyed_Girl)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2011, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-sicknesses/605527/35 "2011-12-10T05:18:31Z")
> [@Sudden\_Kestrel](#): > > “Upper respiratory infection” is what it’s called in the medical community because patients hate it when they come all the way to the ER and are told they have a cold. Other possibilities are “influenza-like illness” and “viral syndrome.” It’s all consumer-driven jargon to describe what sensible people call a cold. I find this amusing because calling an upper respiratory infection a cold doesn’t sound sensible at all as it has nothing whatsoever to do with cold. Instead, I think it perpetuates myth. Back in the day, my grandmother insisted that if I didn’t wear a sweater on a lovely 50 degree evening, I’d catch a cold. And then she licked her finger and smeared it across my face to remove a stray eyelash. :smack: She meant well, though. I get respiratory infections or just plain “sick.” I have a cold and am probably very contagious when I want you to just go away. > [@lazybratsche](#): > > The distinction is that a “cold” is caused by a virus, somewhere in the nose or throat (but not the sinuses). After a while it can leave you congested, which means your sinuses can’t drain and bacteria can grow there. That’s usually what’s referred to as a sinus infection; it means lots of unpleasant congestion and/or drainage but no fever or aches. A sinus infection can also last for weeks. I’ve just gotten over a URI that has likely morphed into a sinus infection. I \*feel \*much better but don’t \*sound \*much better. After four days in bed, which included missing a day of work and being sent home the next, I’m back but my co-workers look skeptical. I keep telling them if I was going to give them anything, they’ve already been recipients before I even knew I was about to go down for the count. I’m pretty sure one of them gave it to me first, though. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2011, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-sicknesses/605527/36 "2011-12-10T05:30:41Z")
I don’t usually get sick. Sometimes I’ll have a stuffed up nose and a bit of a cough. But this can’t get out of bed or puking every time you eat sort of illness? Nope, never had it and I ungenerously assume when someone misses work or begs out of an event due to being sick, it’s because they’re hung over. ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2011, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-sicknesses/605527/37 "2011-12-10T07:21:11Z")
> [@Sierra\_Indigo](#): > > **I do wish that “culturally in Australia” would die a horrible death in a fire, because again, no.** Not everywhere. Some people in some areas may well refer to any sort of respiratory/mucous-system illness as a “flu”, but in my experience most people are likely to go “Bleh, I’ve got a really nasty cold”, and only say “I’ve got the flu” if a doctor has actually said “You’ve got the flu”. Thank you, **Sierra Indigo**! Seconded. \ So yeah. A cold is a cold, the flu is the flu, and anything non-specific is a case of the peedily waddilies. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2011, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-sicknesses/605527/38 "2011-12-10T07:42:04Z")
The Pox. My mom calls diarrhea The Green Apple Two Step…not sure if thats a Wisconsin thing. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2011, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-sicknesses/605527/39 "2011-12-10T16:58:58Z")
Similar question so I hope I’m not violating protocol by putting it here: What do you call that irritating really slow, low volume nasal drip that makes you have to blow your nose every few minutes but get almost NOTHING out. It’s just a constant tickle that you know will drip out of your nose if you don’t wipe/blow it, but it gets no worse than that? Is that just a reaction to the colder weather? A low level cold? WTF is it? (I’ve had it for weeks now!!!) ---
**Author:** ![Gleena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b3f665/32.png) [@Gleena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gleena)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2011, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-sicknesses/605527/40 "2011-12-10T22:31:14Z")
> [@Sierra\_Indigo](#): > > I do wish that “culturally in Australia” would die a horrible death in a fire, because again, no. Not everywhere. Some people in some areas may well refer to any sort of respiratory/mucous-system illness as a “flu”, but in my experience most people are likely to go “Bleh, I’ve got a really nasty cold”, and only say “I’ve got the flu” if a doctor has actually said “You’ve got the flu”. Meh. Almost without exception people I know in Sydney and Melbourne (which I have extended to the rest of Australia, sorry) call a cold the flu, which is a pet peeve of mine so I notice it. I have had actual bickering sessions with people about it. Your experience does vary, I see. When I find one of these lovely pockets of people who do not call it the flu, I will consider moving there so I can live in sunshine and happiness, despite having a cold. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-sicknesses/605527.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-call-your-sicknesses/605527.md?page=3)