# What do you do at a bad movie? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 12, 2001, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-at-a-bad-movie/72270 "2001-07-12T21:12:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![TheRob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@TheRob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheRob)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-at-a-bad-movie/72270/1 "2001-07-12T21:12:50Z")
Alright, I’m going to see a bad-looking movie _cough_ Baby Boy _cough_ with my girlfriend and her friend and I know I’m going to be very bored. What do you do when you have to watch a bad movie? Be creative people! ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-at-a-bad-movie/72270/2 "2001-07-12T21:14:10Z")
The first thing I usually do is start a thread in IMHO. But that’s just me. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-at-a-bad-movie/72270/3 "2001-07-12T21:23:35Z")
I excuse myself, then go play video games in the lobby. Works great until you get caught. ---
**Author:** ![Kamandi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5daacb/32.png) [@Kamandi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamandi)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-at-a-bad-movie/72270/4 "2001-07-12T21:42:52Z")
Well, you could do what Kevin Bacon’s character did in “Diner” and try to get your girlfriend to touch your penis through the bottom of your popcorn box. “Honest, Baby, you’re so hot, it just popped up, right through the bottom of the box!” I loved that scene! ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-at-a-bad-movie/72270/5 "2001-07-12T21:59:05Z")
Yeah, I daydream of the day when all threads originate in the proper forum. Off to IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-at-a-bad-movie/72270/6 "2001-07-12T22:22:17Z")
I contemplate the navel of the person I’m with. ---
**Author:** ![Lyllyan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b2d939/32.png) [@Lyllyan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lyllyan)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-at-a-bad-movie/72270/7 "2001-07-12T22:26:28Z")
If you don’t feel you can just up and leave, take a book, one of those little book lights and some earplugs. When I have to attend movies with the kids, I do this, and it works great. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-at-a-bad-movie/72270/8 "2001-07-12T22:53:27Z")
I follow the shining example of Joel, Mike, Tom, and Crow, and heckle the bejeebers out of the movie. Usually quietly enough to not disturb the other folks, unless it’s **really** bad… ---
**Author:** ![Creaky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e68b1a/32.png) [@Creaky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Creaky)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-at-a-bad-movie/72270/9 "2001-07-12T23:50:21Z")
I sit and watch it, doggone it. I paid for it! ---
**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-at-a-bad-movie/72270/10 "2001-07-13T05:33:15Z")
When me and a sorta-girlfriend went to see Magnolia, she started masturbating when she got bored. That was somewhat distracting. ---
**Author:** ![Kaitlyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/73ab20/32.png) [@Kaitlyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaitlyn)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-at-a-bad-movie/72270/11 "2001-07-13T07:40:17Z")
Never been to a movie I didn’t expect to enjoy, at least on some level. My SO’s and I would only attend movies we both wanted to see. When there were none, we’d rent a movie. Give Baby Boy a chance. I liked it, and found the performances convincing across the board. ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-at-a-bad-movie/72270/12 "2001-07-13T07:57:19Z")
I talked fairly loudly throughout ARMAGEDDON, i simply could not help it. I was quiet during DOGMA though. ---
**Author:** ![deepbluesea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ba9def/32.png) [@deepbluesea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deepbluesea)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-at-a-bad-movie/72270/13 "2001-07-13T12:29:27Z")
Well, if it’s a _good_ bad movie, I laugh. I’ve gotten into a lot of trouble for that, too - I find action movies particularly funny, for some reason. If it’s just a bad movie, I:[ul][li]Go into mindless trance state[/li][li]Start counting things. Number of times a character says something specific, number of product placements, number of shots with the main character crouching, whatever.[/li][li]Go to the bathroom. Wander around in bathroom. Wash hands. Twice.[/li][li]Go to the concessions stand. Gaze at product selection and prices. Wonder if there’s anything I want to buy. Realize there isn’t. Spend a little more time gazing, just to be sure.[/li][li]Ask theater employees what time movie will be over. Stare at watch and perform mental calculations. And, likely, gasp in horror.[/li][/ul]But bear in mind here that I’m easily amused at the movies, and I pre-select pretty well; there’ve only been a few movies where I’ve had to do these things, and only one movie where I had to do the last two. That movie was - Titanic. God, it went on _forever_. I’d do everything listed above, return to the theater, and they’d still be running through water up to their knees. For a while there, I was the only person on the planet who hated that movie. Even the LO, with her usually reliable taste, liked it. (Though, to make all possible allowances, she’s a sucker for period costumes.) And now everyone seems to hate it. Huh. One other movie where I spent far too much time looking at my (glow in the dark numbers and hands) watch: Eyes Wide Shut. Not because it was bad, necessarily (although I did think they could’ve replaced Tom Cruise with a cardboard cutout in most of his scenes - in fact, I think they _did_), but because I completely lost my sense of time. I thought the movie’d been going about 15 minutes because we were still in exposition, and the LO poked me and whispered “We’ve been in here an hour and a half!” She was right. Weird. ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-at-a-bad-movie/72270/14 "2001-07-13T13:02:29Z")
I usually start fantasizing about better movies. Occasionally I just resort to napping. Nice dark environment. Cool air. What could be better? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-at-a-bad-movie/72270/15 "2001-07-13T17:39:09Z")
Well you could put a few beers in a knapsack. The worst that could happen is you get thrown out, which is what you wanted anyway. Or…recently, I was watching a really tedious movie, I excused myself to go to the bathroom, wandered out into the parking lot and then over to the pond next to it and spent a half an hour watching a nest of baby Canada Geese. They where adorable. By the time I got back the movie had picked up. And after all it would be terrible rude for your movie companion to ask you what you were doing so long in the bathroom… ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-at-a-bad-movie/72270/16 "2001-07-13T21:03:34Z")
I always start looking for mistakes. Hey, that cave woman has pierced ears! That coke can just turned around all by itself. Where is the shoe she just threw on the bed? His shirt changed shades of green. That sort of thing. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-at-a-bad-movie/72270/17 "2001-07-13T21:30:10Z")
First off, it was Mickey Rourke who had the bag of hot buttered Orville Penispopper, not Kevin Bacon. And what I do at a bad movie depends on whether I’m there alone or with friends, and how crowded the theater is. If I’m alone, I simply slouch down, cross my arms, and go stone-faced. If I’m with somebody, and the theater is mostly empty, I make fun of it mercilessly (the best of these was _Congo_ – I still laugh at what we came up with). If it’s crowded, I’ll just exchange looks with my compatriot(s), complete with shaking heads, waggled eyebrows, etc. And FWIW, I have never, **ever** walked out on a movie in the cinema. Fast-forwarded through a few at home, and gave up on one or two, but I’ve never walked out on one. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-at-a-bad-movie/72270/18 "2001-07-13T21:30:11Z")
I mentally rewrite scenes to make them better. In particularly noxious cases, I revamp the whole plot and recast the movie. Y’know, just in case I wake up tomorrow and find that I’m actually the screenwriter or director, who has just had a prophetic dream. ---
**Author:** ![Kamandi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5daacb/32.png) [@Kamandi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamandi)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-at-a-bad-movie/72270/19 "2001-07-13T22:12:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cervaise \* > \*\*First off, it was Mickey Rourke who had the bag of hot buttered Orville Penispopper, not Kevin Bacon. \*\* Oops! So it was. Kevin tipped over his car and smeared his face with ketchup. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cervaise \* > \*\*And FWIW, I have never, _ever_ walked out on a movie in the cinema. Fast-forwarded through a few at home, and gave up on one or two, but I’ve never walked out on one. > \*\* Why not? It’s your dime. Since you’ve already spent the money no matter what you do, which one is a waste: being bored in a dark room for an hour and a half (sounds like a “time out” to me) or leaving the theatre to do something worthwhile? I’ve walked out on plenty of movies (and I’m always careful to be quiet in case _somebody_ is enjoying it). And here’s a trick: if you leave early enough - say within half an hour - you can often get your money back. ---
**Author:** ![gooti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/eb8c5e/32.png) [@gooti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gooti)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-at-a-bad-movie/72270/20 "2001-07-13T22:26:48Z")
**Well,** Since 1. _Baby Boy_ can probably be included in the “african-american film” genre and 2. there will likely be a proliferation of african-americans in the theater, I suggest you just listen to the people yelling at the screen. Nine times out of ten the things you hear in a theater full of black people is way more entertaining than the movie itself. (I can say that cuz I’m black) ::thinks of Mr. Garrison’s song in the infamous “Shit” episode of South Park:: [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-at-a-bad-movie/72270.md?page=2)