# what do you do? \[hypothetical nuclear scenario\] **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 22, 2016, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-hypothetical-nuclear-scenario/749847 "2016-03-22T12:23:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2016, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-hypothetical-nuclear-scenario/749847/21 "2016-03-22T19:01:02Z")
And how are we preventing the Supreme Leader from contacting the sub commander while our missiles are on their way? ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2016, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-hypothetical-nuclear-scenario/749847/22 "2016-03-22T19:43:59Z")
> [@drewder](#): > > I don’t know how invading Norway will help but I guess that’s why you’re secretary of agriculture and not secretary of defense. Have you noticed that: (1) Norway and North Korea both start with the letter N; (2) They each share a peninsula with another country starting with the letter S; and (3) Those two countries historically were united? ( [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sweden\_in\_Union\_with\_Norway](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sweden_in_Union_with_Norway) ) Coincidence? I think not. Just bomb Norway to bring North Korea to its knees, and reunify Norway and Sweden so that Korea gets reunified. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2016, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-hypothetical-nuclear-scenario/749847/23 "2016-03-22T19:58:20Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > And how are we preventing the Supreme Leader from contacting the sub commander while our missiles are on their way? We activate the secret South Korean ninja spies who have infiltrated Kim’s bodyguard, and they assassinate him. And don’t complain about fighting the hypothetical - if NK can develop and maintain a secret sub fleet that we don’t know about, and ICBMs that we don’t know about, and an ELF system that we couldn’t get to work, then I get a few ninja spy assassins. Fair’s fair. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![wevets](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e9a140/32.png) [@wevets](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wevets)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2016, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-hypothetical-nuclear-scenario/749847/24 "2016-03-22T19:58:36Z")
> [@drewder](#): > > I don’t know how invading Norway will help but I guess that’s why you’re secretary of agriculture and not secretary of defense. > > [Plan R 4 - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plan_R_4) He might have meant [Wing Attack Plan R](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8qCkVklFWE) ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2016, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-hypothetical-nuclear-scenario/749847/25 "2016-03-22T20:02:13Z")
Confirm, then glass North Korea. No question, almost zero hesitation, and that would be more to check the prevailing winds before dropping anywhere near the DMZ. But North Korea would cease to exist. ---
**Author:** ![Gray\_Ghost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c0e974/32.png) [@Gray\_Ghost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gray_Ghost)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2016, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-hypothetical-nuclear-scenario/749847/26 "2016-03-22T21:34:58Z")
It’s fighting the hypo, but how do I know the explosion was due to NK? All I know is that Washington D.C. was there, and now it’s not. Aside, **Stranger** mentioned it, but you’d need something very large to destroy the CoC enough that I, SecAg, am now the top of the Presidential Succession List. AFAIK, the North Koreans don’t have anything that would come close to being large enough. And no overt way of getting that big thing over to D.C. Also, it’s highly unlikely that one bomb, no matter how big, is killing everyone on the list ahead of me—most of the National Command Authority isn’t sitting right next to each other in D.C. But anyway, I’d want to know how we know that NK is responsible. Before that, I scramble anything that could prevent future hypothetical NK missile launches: scrambled F-22s with improved AMRAAM that can target IRBMs, get whatever Aegis-equipped ships I have in the area for either boost-phase missile defense or terminal-phase, turn on whatever PAC-3 SAMs and [NASAMS](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NASAMS), fire up the Ground Base Missile Defense and tell them that though they screwed up and let us get hit in the first place, it’s time to start earning their money. Most of that shouldn’t be provocative, and time’s of the essence when stopping and responding to a ballistic missile attack. I figure I have a lot of time in the future for revenge, and the ability of the US to get payback isn’t meaningfully degraded. What’s needed now is to stop future attacks and figure out who hit us in the first place. If an immediate retaliatory strike is required then that’s what’ll have to happen. But I don’t think that it absolutely is. Spitballing, it’s probably going to be a Trident doing the dirty work. Depends on how fast the sub can be contacted, and its missiles retargeted vs. having a Minuteman do it. I’m pretty sure we no longer have TLAM/N, so even if a Tico or Burke was sitting right next to NK, I don’t think a regular land attack conventional warhead would be enough to destroy NK’s ability to attack. Then again, they don’t have the ability to attack now. Make sure civil defense gets whatever they need to help the victims of D.C. Bring U.S. defense posture to at least DEFCON 2 and immediately call the Russians to tell them why. (They probably already know that D.C. went ‘BOOM!’, and are frantically calling the Hot Line to tell us they didn’t do it. Ditto the Chinese.) ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2016, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-hypothetical-nuclear-scenario/749847/27 "2016-03-22T21:53:09Z")
> [@XT](#): > > You are fighting the hypothetical. 😛 …and without Mulder or Scully…!\* \*\* 😃 \*I don’t even Know those people. \*\*Kiss Scully on the cheek for me anyway. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2016, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-hypothetical-nuclear-scenario/749847/28 "2016-03-22T21:58:13Z")
> [@wevets](#): > > He might have meant [Wing Attack Plan R](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8qCkVklFWE) Did you say plan r? I’ve been one world’s fair, a picnic, and a rodeo, and that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard come across on a set of headphones… ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2016, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-hypothetical-nuclear-scenario/749847/29 "2016-03-23T00:12:49Z")
> [@drewder](#): > > Your advisors do not believe that sub commanders have the authority to launch without final go ahead from Kim Jong-Un. Unfortunately nobody has been able to locate him since before the attack and it is believed that he is hiding somewhere in the country possibly among civilian population centers. Is this the gotcha part of the hypothetical, to see if people will nuke civilians to take out Kim? In addition to all of the other obvious impossibilities, and there simply isn’t any way of knowing where Kim would be. The confidence of that guess would be zero, unless you have gamed the hypothetical even further. I use our secret space weapons which can, from orbit, identify the DNA of anyone in the world and take them out with a laser. I then release all of our sleeping gas, have the South Korean and US forces peacefully walk in, disarm their army and recall their sub. Problem solved, so I nominate myself for the Nobel Peace Prize. ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2016, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-hypothetical-nuclear-scenario/749847/30 "2016-03-23T00:23:00Z")
I would command all the remaining ships to form a fleet, load it up with every survivor who will fit aboard, and run an unstable democracy while attempting to navigate by the stars back to England. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2016, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-hypothetical-nuclear-scenario/749847/31 "2016-03-23T02:20:47Z")
Do you actually need to be sworn in? I mean, are you not in the chain of command anyway? Anyway, I would get confirmation of the situation from NORAD etc. After that I would call Moscow and Beijing to give my condolences of the deaths of their embassy staffs and to tell them that America would be retaliating and to stand down their forces immediately. Shortly thereafter North Korea ceases to exist. Horrible as that may be, the aim is to deter the next idiot with a nuke. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2016, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-hypothetical-nuclear-scenario/749847/32 "2016-03-23T02:40:06Z")
> [@drewder](#): > > You’re the secretary of agriculture at an event in Iowa. I’m the SecAg?..& I’m in Iowa? Hopefully wake up screaming, & in a cold sweat from the nightmare I was just having. 😛 If it was an ICBM, we could track it from NK, but then there would be plenty of time to get NCA aboard NEACP, so I wouldn’t be in charge. If it was some large-ass nuke driven in & exploded, then it would take some time to determine who was behind it. ---
**Author:** ![GoodOmens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@GoodOmens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GoodOmens)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2016, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-hypothetical-nuclear-scenario/749847/33 "2016-03-23T12:26:46Z")
> [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](#): > > I’d take a deep look around for Ashton Kutcher who is clearly trying to revive his flagging career by “Punk’d”-ing me, since there is no way that North Korea could deliver a nuclear weapon large enough and with such range and precision to destroy Washington D.C. Well, they were aiming for Chicago. ---
**Author:** ![drewder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/57b2e6/32.png) [@drewder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewder)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2016, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-hypothetical-nuclear-scenario/749847/34 "2016-03-23T14:49:21Z")
> [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](#): > > I’d take a deep look around for Ashton Kutcher who is clearly trying to revive his flagging career by “Punk’d”-ing me, since there is no way that North Korea could deliver a nuclear weapon large enough and with such range and precision to destroy Washington D.C. > > Stranger It doesn’t need to take out all of Washington D.C. Just 8 people have to die for the secretary of agriculture to be president at the moment. ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2016, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-hypothetical-nuclear-scenario/749847/35 "2016-03-23T19:26:37Z")
> [@HMS\_Irruncible](#): > > I would command all the remaining ships to form a fleet, load it up with every survivor who will fit aboard, and run an unstable democracy while attempting to navigate by the stars back to England. No BSG fans, eh? You lot are lame. ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2016, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-hypothetical-nuclear-scenario/749847/36 "2016-03-23T19:57:39Z")
Refuse to be sworn in and act as president. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2016, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-hypothetical-nuclear-scenario/749847/37 "2016-03-23T20:53:29Z")
If _Trinity’s Child_ has taught me anything it’s to confirm that the previous President and all others ahead in the line of succession really are pushing up daisies. Incidentally you can be ineligible for the presidency whilst still being in the [cabinet](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_presidential_line_of_succession#Current_order), the current Secretary of the Interior is a naturalised citizen rather than being natural born. What happens if every other member of the cabinet dies and leaves her I don’t know, I suspect in such a disaster power would land in the hands of whoever is perceived to have it, maybe they’d go after the Deputy Secretary of State or quickly declare someone to be Deputy president pro tempore of the Senate. ---
**Author:** ![Declan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecae2f/32.png) [@Declan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Declan)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2016, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-hypothetical-nuclear-scenario/749847/38 "2016-03-23T21:02:25Z")
> [@drewder](#): > > You’re the secretary of agriculture at an event in Iowa. Suddenly a military officer approaches you with what you know to be the nuclear football. He states that north Korea successfully launched a nuke on Washington DC and as a result you are now president. He states that it appears that the Koreans are getting ready for another attack and recommends launching nukes immediately. > > What do you do? Contact the South Korean Govt, tell em to keep their heads down. Canned sunshine is on its way, call Philly, and tell em to dust off the old capital. Call up every other beligerent and enquire as to when their representatives will be in Philly, to formally surrender. Re-activate the Telephone Police. Declan ---
**Author:** ![drewder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/57b2e6/32.png) [@drewder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewder)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2016, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-hypothetical-nuclear-scenario/749847/39 "2016-03-23T21:40:41Z")
> [@Mr.Kobayashi](#): > > If _Trinity’s Child_ has taught me anything it’s to confirm that the previous President and all others ahead in the line of succession really are pushing up daisies. > > Incidentally you can be ineligible for the presidency whilst still being in the [cabinet](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_presidential_line_of_succession#Current_order), the current Secretary of the Interior is a naturalised citizen rather than being natural born. What happens if every other member of the cabinet dies and leaves her I don’t know, I suspect in such a disaster power would land in the hands of whoever is perceived to have it, maybe they’d go after the Deputy Secretary of State or quickly declare someone to be Deputy president pro tempore of the Senate. One question I have is how the person is supposed to get the nuclear launch codes. Sure they give the Vice President a copy just incase but I don’t think anyone is sending them out to the Sec Agriculture. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2016, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-hypothetical-nuclear-scenario/749847/40 "2016-03-23T22:02:49Z")
> [@drewder](#): > > One question I have is how the person is supposed to get the nuclear launch codes. Sure they give the Vice President a copy just incase but I don’t think anyone is sending them out to the Sec Agriculture. [By plane](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Looking_Glass). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-hypothetical-nuclear-scenario/749847.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-do-you-do-hypothetical-nuclear-scenario/749847.md?page=3)